Please, dear Gods, don't try to write anything else. You should take some English lessons right away. This actually hurt my brain, while trying to decipher it.
At this point, I am not sure if it is a bestiality story, a grocery list, or a medical evaluation. As I said, PLEASE do not attempt to write more.
Your story on the whole is not bad bud, you just need to clean up the english a bit more, get an english person to proof read it for you, or an editor and it will be a lot better. Your story is a good one and I'd like to see more and don't think on the "anonymous" commenters who don't have the balls to leave a name for you to rebuff their comment.
by
Anonymous10/21/11
So So Bad
The whole time while reading this I was feeling for my pocket knife, as I wanted to gouge my eyes out.
The story basically sucked. Sorry but its the truth.
Your english and writing skills are so much worse.
I could only imagine what you were thinking when you were writing this.
This is definitely a story that should have been printed out and used to wipe your ass with. Maybe ill do that now.
What folks are not taking into account is English is not your first language. Yes it is not smooth for those who speak English and read English every day. This story is a good first try. This story in Arabic may be more compelling. Sadly this story did not translate well.
RS
by
Anonymous10/23/11
Language
Please! Don't write anything in English...you don't have the knowledge. Write in your native language then maybe someone will care.
by
Anonymous03/27/12
No fun
First of all your english is pathetic do not write any more stories and secondly the story is same as all others and can never be categorized as true
by
Anonymous07/03/13
contact no of that anty
i also want to fuk such an anty/ give my no 09841643188
by
Anonymous08/13/13
If any is interested pl do contact me on 984940753 hyd
Very few people get a chance like this & even I want to be one of them.................
by
Anonymous06/12/14
i am unsatisfied male from chennai
i wana fuck eney aunbt pls give there no 8148734153 my no
by
Anonymous08/03/14
Why write a story in a language you can't even speak?
Learn to speak colloquial, idiomatic English before you try and write anything in the language; this is terrible, every possible mistake is there and glaring out of the page. Please don't write anymore, it hurt my brain trying to work out what the fuck you're talking about, the leaping about from tense to tense actually made me car-sick. You have no talent, no ability, and no possible reason to be here, go away and come back when you can speak the language properly. No stars, ever.
by
Anonymous03/13/16
poor writing skills
Understand that English is not the author's mother tongue, however the writing skills appear quite poor to me.
English
No More!
Please, dear Gods, don't try to write anything else. You should take some English lessons right away. This actually hurt my brain, while trying to decipher it.
At this point, I am not sure if it is a bestiality story, a grocery list, or a medical evaluation. As I said, PLEASE do not attempt to write more.
Not Bad
Your story on the whole is not bad bud, you just need to clean up the english a bit more, get an english person to proof read it for you, or an editor and it will be a lot better. Your story is a good one and I'd like to see more and don't think on the "anonymous" commenters who don't have the balls to leave a name for you to rebuff their comment.
So So Bad
The whole time while reading this I was feeling for my pocket knife, as I wanted to gouge my eyes out.
The story basically sucked. Sorry but its the truth.
Your english and writing skills are so much worse.
I could only imagine what you were thinking when you were writing this.
This is definitely a story that should have been printed out and used to wipe your ass with. Maybe ill do that now.
get a proof-reader ASAP!
Shit
it is shit
Are you texting this story
You write this story like you are texting someone. Failed!
Feedback
For the next 10 years go back to just reading stories.
Nice Try
What folks are not taking into account is English is not your first language. Yes it is not smooth for those who speak English and read English every day. This story is a good first try. This story in Arabic may be more compelling. Sadly this story did not translate well.
RS
Language
Please! Don't write anything in English...you don't have the knowledge. Write in your native language then maybe someone will care.
No fun
First of all your english is pathetic do not write any more stories and secondly the story is same as all others and can never be categorized as true
contact no of that anty
i also want to fuk such an anty/ give my no 09841643188
If any is interested pl do contact me on 984940753 hyd
Very few people get a chance like this & even I want to be one of them.................
i am unsatisfied male from chennai
i wana fuck eney aunbt pls give there no 8148734153 my no
Why write a story in a language you can't even speak?
Learn to speak colloquial, idiomatic English before you try and write anything in the language; this is terrible, every possible mistake is there and glaring out of the page. Please don't write anymore, it hurt my brain trying to work out what the fuck you're talking about, the leaping about from tense to tense actually made me car-sick. You have no talent, no ability, and no possible reason to be here, go away and come back when you can speak the language properly. No stars, ever.
poor writing skills
Understand that English is not the author's mother tongue, however the writing skills appear quite poor to me.
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