All Comments on 'Red Academy for Girls Ch. 03'

Please, take more time: develop the story--plot, characters--more and more fully. Others have commented on how you seem to rush (I would say condense) things too much. Regardless, your three "chapters" could easily have been the 3 pages of a good first chapter. This story seems to have such possibilities...

Also, don't be reluctant to sit on a draft for a few days, then come back and read it again and revise and polish. In each chapter there have been moments when I couldn't be sure whose voice I was reading. If it's too hard to spot these things, get an editor--someone who will read your chapters before you post them and who will give you feedback about whether your text is as clear to another as it is to you.

Please don't get discouraged, but take the (mostly) constructive criticisms seriously.

The idea for this story seems to be a good one, however, it is confusing as to which point of view and who is doing what. Also, you have three chapters but it seems that you are actually still in the first one.

Will there be more or is this the end? Curious as to where you would go with the story. Thanks