wow that was hot,,,
i loved how she gave in and came on his fingers. hope you write more
by
Anonymous05/04/13
OPENING BAND PHENOMENON
Your story shoulda started with the grope but what you did was start the show with a lackluster opening band, that's the signal to readers to go pee and return phone calls before things get going. All your stories start the same way.
Your writing is good, the opening band time-killer isn't. JAMESBJOHNSON
I loved this! In contrast to other commenters, I think the lead-in is appropriate, and adds the roux to the etouffee, binding it all together. Simply stroking a girl to orgasm is ordinarily a relatively tame and minor sexual act, so the setting here is critical, as are the surprise and non-consent components. You may be a bit wordy in the beginning, but I am willing to invest in a few intelligent paragraphs to see if it pays off, and the level of description establishes the atmosphere. The tale is erotic to the point that I, too, fantasized about being on either side of the situation.
by
Anonymous07/21/13
this is what ive been looking for!
public groping turns me on like nothing else so finally ive come across a story thats making me wet like nothing else. Dont mind the embellishments or descriptive writing at all ;) maybe its a female thing to like a little wordy foreplay?
English
been there!
Having spent many days and nights on Bourbon St, what you describe is not far away from normal. I'd love to be on either side of that experience!
very erotic. And yes, not far from normal
great story
wow that was hot,,,
i loved how she gave in and came on his fingers. hope you write more
OPENING BAND PHENOMENON
Your story shoulda started with the grope but what you did was start the show with a lackluster opening band, that's the signal to readers to go pee and return phone calls before things get going. All your stories start the same way.
Your writing is good, the opening band time-killer isn't. JAMESBJOHNSON
Sweaty and sensual
I loved this! In contrast to other commenters, I think the lead-in is appropriate, and adds the roux to the etouffee, binding it all together. Simply stroking a girl to orgasm is ordinarily a relatively tame and minor sexual act, so the setting here is critical, as are the surprise and non-consent components. You may be a bit wordy in the beginning, but I am willing to invest in a few intelligent paragraphs to see if it pays off, and the level of description establishes the atmosphere. The tale is erotic to the point that I, too, fantasized about being on either side of the situation.
this is what ive been looking for!
public groping turns me on like nothing else so finally ive come across a story thats making me wet like nothing else. Dont mind the embellishments or descriptive writing at all ;) maybe its a female thing to like a little wordy foreplay?
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