All Comments on 'Daddy Teaches His Girl A Lesson'

While the story isn't bad, please get an editor or anyone to look over your stories before you submit them. Half the time, you forget to capitalize the first word of a sentence or when saying "I". It's also "massage" not "message" and "turned on" not "turned out". Spell checker's great but you still need to know when you are using the right words.

Don't write in first-person either. It's dumb.

And please please please please please... get at least 3 people to edit and proofread your work...

Thank you for the criticism. It does help. I thought I had caught most of the mistakes, but apparently I did miss a few. I do apologize to those who found the grammar and sentence structure horrible, that I must say is unacceptable on my part. Next time I'll print it out as I do miss mistakes when reading on the screen.

The first person was an attempt to draw the reader further into the story. It was an experiment. Not sure if it was successful though.

With writing like that is that it limits the reader to being the one spoken to, and being a man, I don't like the image of another man forcing me to have sex with him, related or otherwise. Writing in that manner doesn't allow the reader to be a voyeur and look on from the outside.

There's nothing wrong with first-person writing; it's common enough, and can indeed bring the reader further into the story. It's second-person (i.e., using 'you') that's much more difficult to pull off. Use of 'I' suggests that the reader should identify with the story's speaker, while use of 'you' virtually demands that the reader should identify with whoever the 'you' is.

A good writer (with a suitable audience) can pull this off - but for the most part, I would avoid the use of the second person perspective.

This made me cum so much i wish it happened to me