All Comments on 'Our Parent's Videos'

Not worth the time spent reading this crap.

I disagree with "Anonymous", I enjoyed it.

A pretty good start. You have good ideas but should try to be realistic. Brother peeping, playing. Keep writing

Why go to the trouble and effort to build a story so full of love and respect, and then fuck it completely up with the non/consent stuff in the end??!?! It's just stupid to change like that!

The story had so much potential!!

Another thing. Who behaves this way immediately after their loving mother dies?! Plausibility author! Makes the story much more readable.

It's small, but it's the type of thing that bugs me, and I think most readers. In the beginning you say the mom dies when she was 20, then the dad says tells the son to take care of his 18 year old sister. Also, you claim the son is 7 years older than the daughter and had a scholarship from an ivy league school, but doesn't graduate until he's 25 somehow (should be 21 or 22). Another point, the ivy league doesn't give athletic scholarships.

All this within the set up to the story. If you can't set up the story properly in the first couple paragraph please don't bother with the rest.

I wish they had spent more time with the videos and the

Pseudo innocent exploration before going to bed. I would also

have liked it more if there had been a few teaser events before

Her brother takes her virginity. However, overall, I really enjoyed

the story and I hope it continues. It would be really cool

If dad was bi and did to big brother what he did to his sister.

OK, not going to dog pile on here. Editing is a problem to me because I see one sentence, or two sentence paragraphs. Can't figure that at all. A one page story has a simple plot that can be solved quickly. This is a story that is complicated where details get a little mixed up. I didn't understand the ending until I read the author's profile. Now I get it, but there were no signals in the story to give readers a hint. This story is not a one page story in my way of thinking. More character development to start gives a better road map to the end. Keep writing, the story can be very interesting with some nice twists.

RS

18, 24 , 7 , 20 , flat, double d, 9 inches, 10 inches. Proof read your stories before you submit. Make notes for yourself.

Thank you for constructive critisism, I have made corrections for consistancy errors. I hope the revised edition is up soon.

To short write a sequal.

"Our Parents Videos:" - In a couple more months, it will have been ten (10) years since this single, solo story was posted by an aspiring writer. I'm sure she has more abilities in her mind that could prove worthy of a good or even great writer of incestuous familial couplings.

This story is "crowded," ergo, short where lots more detail, more compassion and foreplay--rather than reluctance from the daughter--could have improved the overall appeal of the genre, and the theme of and always popular incest love--even romance--theme of a father and his willing daughter.

Very good, even great father and daughter incest stories, with romance, love, compassion, satisfaction to both participants--the male AND female--are few and far between in the world of written incest-genre pornography. Writers, particularly female writers, of good father and daughter couplings are rare, and for me are very much appreciated, and very welcome!! Writer 'gypseykitten' could fill that void very nicely;