Aside from 1-2 typos a perfect story, great fun; thanks for a good read.
The master at work, humorous and well-crafted tale - thanks!
I did not she any humor in this story, it was just stupid.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP ME MY CAPS LOCK HAS GONE BERSERK!
brings REALITY on the wall. TK U MLJ LV NV
First it must be said it's twice nice to see HDK returning from sabbatical . Now that the weather is getting a chill , perhaps more stories will be forthcoming as spending leisure days at golf course will be less & less of an option as winter settles in.
In terms of the actual story, this was not the easiest of reads to settle into . Yet I persisted because of intellectual curiosity as to how the narrator was going to resolve his multiple famial dilemmas, the farce humor that kept enticing me through chapters until I finally half understood & gathered empathy for all the principals involved . Everyone in fact was redeemed by story's conclusion except that marriage -interloping & alas fisticuff proficient Steve bastard.
The biggest reason of course to be patient with the story is because of it's esteemed author who almost never totally whiffs as can be determined by the numerous red H fireballs that pockmark the plot descriptions of his story page.
In the end analysis , I'm glad I stuck with the story. It's message was uplifting and worthy. Any preachiness was greatly alleviated by humor of the self effacing genre which is a lesson I would do very well to remember.
Thanks to HDK for daring to take on a problem that sends chills down the spines of all family men. Whatever to do with a feisty green haired daughter who seems to have her blackberry / Iphone welded to the palm of her hand?
Welcome back, we've missed you. I enjoyed the story as I do most of your work. I've read everything on your author's page more than once.
Funny and a little sad slice of life. The only thing that would make it better is Steve getting his ass kicked.
Thanks for your hard work and please continue.
Glad to see that HDK is back.
Nice read, thank you
I like a good twist in a story, and this one was outstanding. Enjoyed the read and the moral.
story... thanks! Sometimes we have to step back to see who we really are.
Then I found it difficult to get up enthusiasm for it. Perhaps the fact that I never watched a reality show made me insensitive to the humour. In fact I found it a bit painful!
After he got pounded it was depressing except for the improvement in Kate. Finally though when we got BB's viewpoint things started clicking in place and the explanation became obvious. I suffered but in the end it was well worth it. But I admit that if I did not have faith in HDK, I would have quit...
Great to have you back. A bit contrived but still fun.
I just read through your catalog a few months back, and I'm pretty sure this is the longest single-chapter story. I found it a bit predictable, but could not see a way around it considering the premise for the story. I dug the premise, so could forgive the predictability. Makes one wonder if one's life would improve by always acting as though others are watching.
Always looking forward to a new HDK yarn.
Like most HDK stories, this one put a big smile on my face. The plot was quite transparent at the beginning, but reading the story is so much fun that doesn't matter. Great to have HDK back!
You outdid yourself this time!! Great story!
As Lord commented, being patient with the story development makes it more enjoyable. A good read this morning.
I was wondering how you were going to explain the reality show aspect and the further it went the more I anticipated something like hypnosis, especially when a Doctor was introduced. A nice and unique plot line. Thanks for writing a compelling story.
Brilliantly executed, and wonderfully written. It was also very original. A great job overall!
Good story, Good to have you back, Good time!
...and welcome back!
Without question, THAT was one of the most uncommon, and thoroughly entertaining stories ever presented in this venue. I did smell the ending coming, but still, this is excellent storytelling.
Straight out of the twilight zone. In one strange way, it was a bit creepy. The premise, I mean.
Just as we are all fawning over a few of the newer authors you come to us with this. You are still showing us how great your talent truly is. Thank you so much for the time and effort you put into this. I greatly appreciate it. Fan for years, fan forever. Thanx again....
Great story. Original and fun, as always. Great to re-affirm you as one of this site's favourite authors. Thank you.
It was fun to read a romance story with a positive ending:)Plus I like your writing style and flow.
The rating doesn't go any higher unfortunately.
Your combination of humor and surprise, as always, is brilliant. Hope you never run out of beatles' titles!
she got bitch-slapped by a statue
At first I thought that he had a stroke or mental breakdown,and I kept looking for the real reason that was causing his confussing, but the Reality TV show, didn't quite work for me.
It was more like he woke up from a bad dream, like the one Scrooge had,that was caused by some sort of brain fart, and found himself in a parallel world.
I might have over think-ed the story, and read too much into it, but sill enjoyed the story very much.
A well done storyline and very original, along with being nicely written and edited.
And a happy ending!!!!
Thanks for the good read.
I found it to have twists and turns that surprised me. The way the kids turned back and forth was funny as was his wife's changes too. Particularly enjoyed the 'reality tv' twist too.
Totally unlike anything you've previously posted here, and all that much better for it.
The first 3 pages were like a cross between The Twilight Zone and The Truman Show.
The last page was just a wonderful way to wrap it up.
Well done, and get your ass cracking. We'll be expecting more from you soon!
HDK's has a great mixture of humor and originality that makes his writing special. No one else has his style. I hope you are well and in the mood to crank out more of your stuff. Thanks for your work!
Well written and edited. It kept me wanting to read just to see what would happen. I had a hard time with the reality TV angle, and I thought it was too easy to turn the kids.
I'm not sure where I feel about this story. I wouldn't rate it as "Hot" because it isn't much of a stroke story, but at the same time, it was a "page Turner." Thanks.
This is why I like your stories. They are generally different from the other stories. A bit of humor, good plot and not typical cheating wives story. For those who didn't like this, you should rather read stories of JPB or Matt Maureau.
I just didn't care too much for this story. I know that it is better than I could have done and I appreciate the effort of one of my favorite author's here, but the scenario was just too convoluted to make much sense. On top of that, if I read it right, Fargo kicks his ass after going after his wife and pretty much walks away for free. Just nothing funny or redeeming about that.
I will look forward to the next HDK submission though.
Stangstar is a romantic
ohio deals with difficult issues and deals with incredibly realistic human situations in relationships
Rhenquist has is a very good story spinner
You do redemptions and you do them well. You give the protagonists hope for a future, even if that hope is just leaving a poor wife behind.
I'm glad you're writing again.
It's tough coming up with new plots but I liked this one.
(Yes, there are a lot of other great authors here. I'm just going by the styles I see)
My favoritest author is active again! I am an avid Beatles fan and the story titles are what attracted me first. I liked the style, humor and almost everything about HDK's stories!
Looking forward to LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS
Such an interesting take on "reality TV". HDK, you are truly a unique talent and I hope you keep submitting here on Lit for a long long time. Thanks!!
Very good story with your great theme that people can improve themselves and thier lives have an effect on others. I look forward to reading some more I Was Bored; which was my favorite series in this whole site. I'm really glad that you're writing again.
Excellent story, really well told and with a nice twist at the end. Thanks.
Glad to see you are back. I enjoyed this immensely. And thank you for showing a truly loving parent has to use tough love sometimes. It actually provides security for our kids to have well defined guidelines in life. We cannot always be their friend. But nothing takes the place of just being involved in their lives. Rules without a safe and warm home will only bread contempt.
A good story, well told and interesting. The medical stuff and the hypnotism were very believal.
You ARE the master storyteller.
Nope but a really, really good one -
Wonderfully done - keep it - glad to see a new one too -
During your slow period I quit checking your stories very often as I have read them all, some more than once.
When I found this new one I was surprised and think it is a very good story.
Keep them coming.
It was predictable yet entertaining. Even though I saw the ending coming all the way back to page 1 I still enjoyed the story. Great job!
It is only a story but I still would have liked to read of more physical revenge on the Frago character!
Wonderfully done - keep it up - glad to see a new one too
...but it's clear that this story belongs on Revolver, because HDK has entered his psychedelic phase!
Wow, what a well-developed and strange fantasy! Riding along inside Chuck's mind was a treat, as he struggled to make sense of a situation that simply made no sense. I loved it!
Hats off as always to a funny, original storyteller who never stops finding new ways to entertain and amuse us!
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