All Comments on 'A Little Itch'

Is his daughter his or not? Dear Author why do you let us in the dark shadow? DNA test result?

ZZZZZZZZ

leads to a big scratch and scabs. TK U MLJ LV NV

It is his daughter. You must have missed the line in the 2nd last paragraph...

"And does it really matter that none of what I said was true?"

I kinda like the whole planting the seed of doubt as oppose to knocking the teeth and going to jail.

for a little story.

That was me, Thank you for writing about the pain I suffer each day when I think about that bitch.

Sorry, just not enough "fizzzzz."

I understand the plot line and the implications that the "lie" did to the wife's marriage but it seemed unsatisfactory.

This seemed more like a coincidence than an outcome of the lie.

Very subtle. I LOVED IT! Plus it had a happy ending, and I love those too!

must be RAAC, chock full of creampies and cuckoldry - hero probably gets cornholed and smokes a fat cock

Thanks for the warning ped0, keep up the good work

Your really in to WACC appeal aren't you. You wrote him as the biggest wimp possible. His friend never talked to him again because he was such a wimp. I guess as a writer, you just had to show the WACC side. Gave it a 3

Writing: Clear. No obvious errors. It was a pretty decent read. The style wasn't bad either.

Pacing: A trifle slow at times. Also, it was too short. You built up the man's emotions over a long time, but the revenge was handled in a half dozen paragraphs with an Epilogue. I would have liked that expanded a bit from a personal standpoint. But like you, I tend to suggest things in my writing more then laying them out directly.

Plot: It was a decent run. I liked Larry a lot less after he abandoned his friend. I thought the guy was a bit passive, but I could see it. He made himself unlikeable by abandoning his daughter.

Overall I enjoyed it and thank you for writing.

Well written but not realistic.

I can understand the emotional/mental battle within a soldier's head that brings about the non-violent attitude. Even the non-confrontational mind set. Things like torture can change a person. So as I said, I understand it, not that I agree with it.

With all that stated, it's not a bad little story. I guess he got, what used to be referred to as, a section 8 discharge, and what now is termed "unfit due to mental or physical condition" or some such thing.

Incomplete Too many loose ends. DNA? Child support? 2 other lovers? And we have a winner! the loving wife is the winner and our little soldier boy and everyone else in ths story the loser. SNORE. Great writing though will be looking for more of your stories

Well written and it got straight to the point. It's not a requirement to flush out every detail ...

Thanks

this story sucked.no balls and lost manhood in war.

HE could have fought for his self respect..the fact that he was a wound war vet would have killed the hebbie chances to be mayor..he should have listened to his friend harry.. not become a WIMP WITH A BOTTLE AND THE ENDING IS poorly done and way to short and unreal..

if so can someone please point it out ?

he got his revenge?

really? is this author this pathetically stupid?

I have no idea how a person reacts to long term torture. So I can't comment on that rationally. Kicking the shit out of a man with pull is usually not wise. You have to plan if you are going to stay out of the pen men. That plan should include keeping suspicion and the cops as far away as possible, Right? This guy had a good idea that worked. Now if it was the average guy you were going after, I would say....have fun.

The part about loosing friends if you don't stand up for yourself is true. They loose respect for you.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

(5-star)

as a means to gain respect. YOU'RE FUCKING RETARDED!!!!

The only thing you gain from violence is a criminal record. If this story is true and not mearly a fictional tale, then the ex-husband would be doing a loooong stretch in a federal pen. Would you respect him more because he's serving time and never sees his daughter?

His wife cheated on him. It happens. Deal with it. And regardless of whether his lie to her new husband had a hand in their downfall or not is irrelevant...because that marriage blew up in both their faces.

The only issue I have is with the court settlement. It is my understanding that as soon as she remarries, he is no longer on the hook for alimony, medical or any other financial penalties for his wife. OF course he should and must pay for his child; but that wouldn't include proceeds from the dissolution of the marriage.

Also, was she in love with her boss or did she only love his money?

Mostly because he whines that he isn't.

Retribution doesn't need to be violent but the best he can do is to tell a lie to make the asshole doubt his new wife's loyalty? That makes him feel like a man? How about telling the media that the asshole slept with a married woman and broke up a marriage. Voters usually don't like that.

Marinating in your sorrow makes you a wimp. Basing a story on it makes you a bigger wimp.

The writing was decent. The theme was a turn off.

chicken, wimp & loser. You should not have written this dribble.

There is no man here, some war vet?

VA disability payments can NOT be taken by a judgement.

As a POW and after four years he would not have had to re-certify.

Wimp? After being in a war it is hard to be violent.

Doubt he was a wimp....just too much PTSD.

He did what he thought best but it only messed with the new hubby....not the @$#%^ that he thought loved him....the real cause of the mess.

Oh, well....

Nicely done, and a good storyline. Well written and a good edit made the story flow smoothly.

The only way violence works is if you don't get caught, that's the big problem.

When you have this man's problems, you would wish you knew the Godfather, and ask him for help.

Thanks for the good read.

She's motivated to move up, especially since the guy's wealth is removed from him. If she did not planned well, then she may suffer a reversal of fortune. Best part for him, his post divorce situation is ok and likely to get better.

if its only way to fight as writer say then i have like that he die in war before he ever find about his wifes affair then atlest he has his self-respect,friends

from this story u can say have as many as affair u want because u will not loss anything but always gain and ur life more high-class

there r lots of other choices then this to fight. some r revengeful some u get good life then before

I simply am not shure how I could rate this drival. The one thing I know for certain is that this is another piece of wimp ass shit!!!

played TWO ugly theaters didn't kill someone." Ha Ha HA HA Ha"! -Yeah!!! But you guys are tough huh? Ha! ha! Ha! I wish I could take out one tenth of my anger on you, I haven't been to war lately so it's back! Tough,tough anons. Ha! Ha! Ha!

This is the internet hard man category now. Some real badasses on this board, simple denial and flaming not enough to paper over their self-loathing over devouring endless cuck stories so they raise it up a notch. These Miltons go postal when you take their stapler.

a little seed lie, that was great advice....love it....bill

This author is right close to the top,with SS06, Daniel Q and very few others. Though I recognize and appreciate good story, it is how well it is written. And as I said this author is at the top of the cream.

or Dan Q for that matter. And radk I don't know 3 vet or active duty men that would call anything the husband did as revange or even manly. He sat there like a little bitch and took what happened to him and whined.

Must have been the smallest bite in the history of the world as all it took to scratch it was some limp lettuce

seems the daughter was cannon fodder

or the itch may spread to more than one. TK U MLJ LV NV

this was to much b.s. should have listen to his friend larry.

The wife is now in the poor house, perhaps she will give up the kid....

This was delicately done, with the tools that were available. Very well executed.

Liked the story, the outline but the overall stpry kind of sucked - a little weak. A few mysterious calls to the mayors house after he talked to him - say 3-4 motnhs later and then maybe a few time more over a period of a couple years...hmmm - maybe.

The daughter belonged to a responsible loving parent - not a status climbing slut.

Thanks anyway.

a good divorce lawyer would have saved him a lot of money, and a lawsuit on her bosses business would have given him even more, far to weak. And to turn your back on your true friends isnt nonviolent, its stupid.

He should have hired a contractor to exterminate the Judge, the corrupt Mayor and his wife. Enough with this all is right with free license. Larry was right... I wouldn't talk to this asshole either.

He should have listened to Larry and been more pro-active on getting revenge. He wasn't a wimp but he was a little sissified. Oh well.

What was the point in even writing that story in the first place? To show us that she was a whore and he was a pussy? I don't know what else you wanted to get across but you failed!!!

why not just suck off the new husband too - to punish him with a bad blowjob. this story had no ending at all and no payback. yawn.

It just feels like it never really got going after an initial good start, almost as though you ran out of steam...

3* and perhaps a suggestion to have another look at this story and re-write it?

For what it may be worth to this author and any others. The only way a judge can force a veteran to give up a pension is if it is for regular retirement. If the pension is for any form of disability that pension is totally untouchable for a judge to have any effect on.

For a military pension to be able to be touched by a divorce it must be for a regular retirement pension and the so called dependent spouse must have been married to said person for a minimum of ten years of active duty service.l I know i am one of those that paid that price.

He left his daughter with a serial cheater, thief, and a wife-beater. While she may or may not be flesh and blood (never confirmed), that is his daughter. What a cowardly cunt. That's what makes him a wimp, not the cheating.

Let the cheating wife walk with his daughter? Better re-write this ending.

thats it? awful

Wimp story.

Well written but wimp story.

Ugly ending. Ugh.

More about screwing with someones head than about dealing with a bad relationship.

This wimp tale really sucked!

No guts, no glory tale.

Gee, this guy really had balls (not).

You call that revenge...Dumb, dumb, dumb - stupid!!!

Since when? What state allows this? Otherwise... a little strange but readable.

but disability isn't. Disabilty can't be touched. Get your fact straight.

just another sketch of a story - facts optional, plot implausible - another fine example of making it up as you go.

wimpier than thou tale of worthlessness's

1 * and regret.

I havr done this and it works

like waatching a trapped animal

chew off its own leg

messy but satisfying

she would have gotten none of it. And even in the moraless country the US has become no one would vote for a man who had an affair with and married the wife of a disabled vet.

No payback at all.

The story could have been OK if he had not abandoned his daughter. I can understand the lack of desire for a more direct retribution but not for giving up his duties as a father. The situation with Larry left a bad taste as well.

Does he ever find out who the other men were? Were there more? Is she his daughter or not? If not, does he figure out who is and get some satisfaction in court and get to expose and embarrass his ex-wife with her family and friends? She sure seemed to get off scott-free considering her behavior.

This read like a rough treatment for what could be a good story. Seems like nothing was given the time to develop; the friend and ex-sis in law, ex and new husband, the domestic violence angle, his relationship with his daughter, his new love, etc... You should revisit this and flesh the charachters out more and elaborate more on the situations. I've read 7-part stories here that had less to offer; I think you could do something with this. Oh well, just my opinion...

shame you were a soldier.

Thanks for the offering.

He was war weary and tired - but not so tired he would simply accept what was doe as OK - but not so responsive he would respond in any direct way - even to preserve his relationship with his daughter???

It is certainly a possibility for a PTSD victim to get there and we have some suggestion he may have been there - BUT there is a lot of "nice to know" detail missing here.

The wife is adequately defined by her statement on leaving - she is a bitch and does not care for anyone but herself -

The soon to be ex-mayor is a typical politician BUT the stealing a vets wife part is unlikely as it would be political suicide - whatever. Not in that town obviously.

Larry was not nearly the friend he should have been he knew what was wrong and ignored his friends pain - just my opinion there - you do not walk away from a buddy like that when you have gone through what they seem to have.

Again it is a lot ASSumption without info - a little longer would have been better this time IMHO.

Good story though. Could have been better.

you need a real big lasso. TK U MLJ LV NV

They were a perfect match; a cheating slut and a spineless wimp.

.... It was realistic and tied up neatly, no loose ends. Panther fan.

It is amazing what an empty condom wrapper can do if it turns up in the wrong place. Nothing more is needed.

"Well"!, I hope Larry is reading this story. He needs to know.

This story is disappointing. Fairly well told. Characters I could understand, though not relate to well. But still disappointing.

The wife hasn't tasted justice yet. Until she does the story remains decidedly unsatisfying. It might be realistic, but if you're happy with real why read fiction?

I appreciate the premise of this story. I would have liked a bit more about his daughter - hopefully he was able to maintain a relationship with her. Five stars from me, though.

A politician who owned a car stealership and a cheating greedy bitch, what a great match.

What a pity it didn't last.

he should have confronted amanda directly... this way he's just skulking in the shadows and sniping. sad.

The wife traded up, he poisoned the well, and destroyed what we presume was her happy marriage. She trashed his marriage, he trashed hers.

Chilley

Where a man can spend a year having sex with a married woman whose husband is a soldier serving overseas who is grievously wounded and permanently disabled in the service of his country, steal her from him and still get elected to public office? All John had to do was show up at his public appearances in uniform and hobbling on crutches or riding in a wheelchair to call him on that and it would have sunk the guy's political prospects so deep he wouldn't have been able to get elected dog catcher.

Too passive aggressive. This guy was a soldier? What did he do? Try to guilt his enemies into suicide, because he was too afraid to actually do anything? Did he step on a landmine while running away with his arms flailing in the air? When was the last time any of you met an introspective soldier that had zero self confidence and no idea what to do in any given situation? I know that all the soldiers I've ever met are softly spoken and never make eye contact. NOT! Too many authors use the same mechanism of having their protagonist as an injured former war hero soldier, in order to illicit sympathy for him.

its fiction you stupid yank fucks

I really enjoyed this story, although my own is 180 degrees different.

Yes, I was in an accident and deemed 100% disabled. Unfortunately, we were young, I was 28, my wife 27 and we'd just bought and moved into our first home, with our two children, ages 18 months and 3 1/2. For a time after I was sent home, I couldn't do anything for myself. At all. My wife took time off from her job as a waitress, someone had to be home to take care of me at that point.

Over the next year, I got better. Enough so, my wife went back to work and I was able to take care of our young and quickly growing kids. My disability didn't pay much, about 50% of what I had brought home before, about $850 per month. If she smiled enough, even when exhausted, she brought home another $700 in tips. With young children, our money didn't go far enough. So yes, it was shopping at Good Will, accepting food donated by my in-laws from their farm and making do with little.

Did my wife go find someone else to fuck, although there for a while, I was unable to? Absolutely not. She worked her ass off and raced home to take care of basically, her 3 kids. I had to learn to swallow again, walk, talk, remember, etc. But she coaxed me through it all. One thing about this fantastic organ we call a brain, it rewires itself over time.

Instead of complaining about the lack of money, we put in a large garden on our 1 acre property. Out of town, we also traded for a pig that was bred, a ewe sheep was given to us, someone wanted to get rid of her, she was too old. Also, my wife found time to clean house for a woman who gave us a dozen laying hens and a rooster. Everything from our garden was canned, anything left over was given to the chickens and pig. My brother had access to a farmer friend and he was able to get us left over grain and he brought it in by the ton, free of charge, except for his labor, which we paid when we fed him!

Our 9 piglets were born and we were able to trade one for three rabbits. Two does and a buck. They began doing what rabbits do best and soon we had rabbit dinners on a regular basis. We sold all the pigs with the exception of one for ourselves and had the sow rebred. The money went into our savings and it started to grow, little by little. We had the ewe bred and not long after the piglets were born, we had two lambs, one a female. '

Over the next few years, we turned out tiny 1 acre farm into a money making machine. Our neighbor let us use about 3 acres of his that lay unused, for a pig per year. He paid for the cutting and wrapping, we raised it. With all that land, my wife, on her time off, and I began to build our future. We ended up with 10 ewes that we kept bred and sold their lambs. Our pigs increased to 5 sows and that was up to 50 pigs being born, twice per year and each sold at 8 weeks for $75 back then. It was real money for us, but was put into savings. The lambs were sold when they were slaughtered and brought in quite a lot. Our rabbits had increased to 12 breeding does and 3 bucks and my wife began selling them both as pets/show rabbits and butcher rabbits. The former for $25, the latter for $12.50.

Over the next 10 years our neighbor passed away but left us the 3 acres in his will. We knew his family and they didn't begrudge us at all. They were our customers too. We were able to pay everything off where we had almost zero cash outflow. Then my wife decided to do something completely different and began planting grapes, raspberries and strawberries. It was getting where we could hardly walk around when we walked out the door!

She took classes and learned to make wine. She applied for a license, I had a building built and we purchased all the stainless steel tubs, etc and began a small winery. It finally came time for her to quit her waitress job and by that time, the kids were in Junior High school and were able to help. Yes, we were still buying our clothes and stuff at Good Will.

If you're in the PNW, you've probably had our wine at some point. Now, some 25 years later, we have quite an income based on wines. We don't rely on livestock for our income now and we only have a few goats, chickens and rabbits for our own consumption. But we make a lot of wine! Enough so, my wife and I recently celebrated our 35th on an Alaskan Cruise! Yeah, we had to pinch pennies but still shopping at Good Will, helped!

We don't ALL have cheating whores in our lives!

Military disability isn't the same as military retirement, she would not get half.

In what part of the US would a politician carry on a year long affair and then take the spouse of a disabled veteran without losing the election?

Even in D.C. where the mayor can smoke crack on video and get re-elected that would be too much.

Very disappointed. This story, and I am being liberal here, it just was terrible. Sorry, usually thank for the offering, but this time, no way...

Pretty pathetic 1*

that's it? pretty bad.

The above section of Federal Law prohibits the award of 1/2 of his VA disability tothe ex wife. The U.S. Treasury will not honor garnishment orders of VA Disability. Title 31, Code of Federal Regulations, Part 212. But a bank is not the Federal Government, and will probably honor such an illegal order from a state court. And in a monumental display of stupidity, the U.S. Supreme Court upheld a state court judge who found a veteran in contempt of court for not giving up his disability payments to the ex-wife! In this story, given how devastated the protaganist was at the time of the divorce, [and the fact that so many lawyers have never heard of this law], the protagonist may very well have been ordered to give up half, and he didn't fight it! (And the bank the VA sent the electronic disability payment to may very well have honored a state court's illegal garnishment order.) I spent a good deal of time explaining to idiot state county attorneys that the VA Regional Office in the state where I worked for the VA would not honor such an order. I also was initially dismayed when I first began working as a lawyer for the VA about how ignorant so many lawyers and judges could be! But after 31 years of such employment, the depth of ignorance of lawyers and judges no longer surprised me.

Also, although exactly what disabilites he had were not clearly spelled out, and the VA can assign temporary disability ratings (38 U.S.C., Section 1156), those ratings are normally provided when there is a distinct likelihood that the condition will improve, and by four years, he would have received a permanent disability rating.

Title says it all... But to cite just one reason - how did he get back with Megan?

Who is Megan? His daughter seems to be Darla so now I'm stumped for an answer as to who Megan is.

I know how it is that he cannot be violent. Few of us came back that way. In the long run, he is lucky.

I think he could probably get his daughter back if he approached it right.

"She's the new lady in my life"

His new girlfriend. Someone he started a relationship with after the divorce.

Awwww sorry ex wife. Can't climb back into ex Hubby's bed anymore. Good fucking job. The harsh reality of cheating

Yeah, She cheated cause she wanted more! Bullshit that he just wimped out!

1*

Whaaaaaaaat?

She was a slut, he was a wimp. They deserved what each gave the other.

Shes a worthless liar. Bitches all of yall fighting for that slut. Own her. Drop her. bitch