Fat Bottom Sister

"I've been a hobby writer for nearly 15 years." I see the hobby part.


"I've submitted and have been acknowledged for several pieces of work on a variety of platforms." Funny how you don't say HOW you were acknowledged, although I imagine it wasn't too farvoribly.

"I specialize in editing plot, characterization, and making sure the story holds together." EPIC FAIL. After what I read, you didn't edit anything.

to Anon that ended with EPIC FAIL

All you wrote was hate. There is absolutely no reason for this. If you dont like the story and you feel the need to say so then do it. But attacking like you did just shows you are an ass. So to you I say... from the bottom of my balls, blow me.

To the author, I liked the story. I would have used different phrasing in some places, and a different set up but thats me. I would also have written it to leave it open to continue. What about her wiccan coven? You might have drawn it out more and built up the anticipation. I would recommend looking at some of the other incest authors with high marks and see what they have done and see if that might work with your style. Ahabscribe is a goog one to look at.

Anyway thankyou for your story and dont let jackasses like that get to
Dan

Absolutely

One of the worst stories I have ever wasted my time on.

not worth the time

didn't bother to read if it got such bad comments i won't waste my time on it delete it and try again

Good stuff.

Keep up the good work man!

It had it's moments

but towards the end was fucking bizarre. "Fuck me or I'll tell the cops that you raped me"? WTF? ANd this whole, I'm not a ladies man but I'm the best looking, most intelligent, most fuckable guy in the high school, just ask the science teacher...is pure bullshit! I give you a 1/5.

Very different

Let me say there is no need for hateful comments. It is quite easy to be anon and spew hate. If you feel the need to be hateful, log on and use a real name to spew and own it. I've read worse stories here for sure. The plot started to get pretty twisted which requires a bit more story coverage. Flesh this out both before and after. It looks like a first, or second draft. Keep at it and find more of your story.
RS

unknown

I liked it and I think it would be a good story to develope a series out of

Very good try

Far from the worst I've read, should have drawn it out, a little more background and much more on the Wiccan thing! You could have done so much more with that!

Fun raunchy story

I like a story that's not afraid to get dirtier and dirtier. Yes, the setup was a little self-contradictory but the progression was hot and trashy, the way I like 'em! Well, one way anyway.

One of the worst on Lit

and that makes it REALLY bad.

I appreciate the effort, it has a lot of things I really like: fat chicks, sister sex, anal sex, snuggling leading to sex, lot of good stuff.

But the haters have a point, it really isn't written well, cut the entire rape suggestion, spend more time working up to the sex, and try to be a little more pleasant. I think that last part is probably the biggest thing, you come off like a total misogynist asshole, especially at the end.

One thing really strikes me here. The sister is a slut because of kids with different guys. Yet he admits to having several pieces of trailer park trash. Pot calling the kettle black. Who's really the slut?.

delete and go away

don't brag about how good you are at writing when you post trash. delete and never post again anywhere.

Made me laugh out loud

Wicca is an ancient religion that incorporates the holy sites, lakes, rivers and streams of Britain, and was the dominant religion since long before the coming of the Romans; by definition, Wicca can only exist in the land of its holy places; Wayland's Forge, Woodhenge, Avebury, Glastonbury Tor, Silbury, Uffington, the Fogu of Cornwall, the long-barrows and tumuli of Somerset, and the woods, caves and waterfalls of Brecon, Snowdonia, Cumbria and the West Country; Americans calling themselves Wicca are deluded, and their ridiculous 'Moon' rituals are meaningless, made-up gibberish. Don't even get me started on all those fools who prate on about how they're 'druids'; there's no such thing, never was, never existed, the name was made-up in the 18th century by a bunch of romantic poets in a cod ceremony on Primrose Hill in London. If you want a spiritual base, make one up yourselves from scratch, or horn-in on the Native American beliefs, but don't try and claim a grounding in, or knowledge of, something about which you know absolutely zero.

good

i liked the story it was one of the better ones. please post more