by sr71plt
is this shit suppose to be erotic? or mysterious? what fucking genre is this?
Could have been a good story, but sadly it quickly died a miserable boring death and went to hell from there!
Not your best work. Although presaged, killing off Mom doesn't seem essential to the plot, and also killing off the "young and virile" football player seemed unnecessary.
The worst story I have ever read on here - by a mile. It made no sense whatsoever.
Considering the month and the title I figured someone
would be in a zombie costume or something.....
Since they never actually had sex this is in the
wrong category.
This is just depressing not erotic.
Narrated by a stiff with a stiffy! Did it happen or did they die en route? Edgar Allen Porn at its best.
I checked your submissions and most are about gay sex. You should stick to a subject you feel passionate about.
There is no flow to this. It's lifeless. Oddly so. Can't you tell how wooden it is just be reading it? I guess not.
Please edit the living hell out of your work next time. And then have someone else edit it a couple times. Also, what the hell is up with the fascination with a woman making "yip yip sounds punctuated by moans"? There were five mentions of that alone, almost using the exact same phrasing every time. If this is all it takes to get a story posted on this site, I may as well go faceroll on my keyboard for twenty minutes and submit it.
Apparently the only thing needed to get published here is some syllable soup, and frequent mention of squirrel mating calls.
Did they have sex or was it just something that he fantasized about?
The last six paragraphs is where I got confused.
If I'm confused about this submission, the author must be in worse shape and must have destroyed a few brain cells dreaming this up. In order to protect what cells he has left, maybe he ought to try another genre.
Not the usual Incest story here--mostly because it's actually a story and gives a rationale for how everyone develops their desires and obsessions. I can see why the earlier commenters here are confused and upset--considering what they usually get to read in this category. And, of course, it really is incest. The fetish comes in desiring it, not just actually performing it. (And he did really fuck his step-mother.)
There's no sex in ice hockey but there's usually at least one good check to a body or two that ends up in a smash... and a stretcher... just like this story. (Yawn)
Now I wonder how the Boston Bruins are going to fair this year?!!