Love the way you write - I hope you will post more stories real ones if you have them and fiction if not.
keep writing nice lady
John XXX
by
Anonymous10/18/11
Yummy like the pile of crap that it is...
Written by a sicko for sicko's like the prior anon. One star because no zero stars.
by
Anonymous10/18/11
yummy like the WBC
blewdogg and the rest of the wannabe cucks spanked to this one while dreaming of creampies, nice job, they love the cuckoldry
by
Anonymous10/18/11
actually i liked this
it dodnt sound fake at all
by
Anonymous10/18/11
Not really a story
but as a scene in a larger piece it would work. Well written. Characters were fleshed out about as much as the short piece would allow and the descriptions were good. Write more.
In reading this, I liked how you showed the mixed emotions of your character (you in real life?). The excitement of the situation but the guilt in the back of her mind.
The only thing is I would say is watch your grammar a bit more. There are some places were you missed a word. No biggie as the reader could figure out what you meant.
Keep writing and I'll keep reading!
by
Anonymous10/18/11
if true
If true as you say it is one can only hope your husband and kids find out before you take a disease home with you and they can get on with their lives without you.
by
Anonymous10/18/11
Really!
This is o.k. behavier for a "wife and mom", you left with a smile. Yikes, you'r word means nothing, you'r marriage means nothing, you'r kids mean nothing. So what do you really have in your life, not love, honor, trust,just a little kinky sex. Good luck to the family, with you in it they will need it.
by
Anonymous10/18/11
complex emotions
Humans and their interactions are complex, and don't necessarily fit into prescribed patterns. Great story because it brings a lot of those desires, doubts, and confusion to the page.
If you notice the word husband is not in the story in fact the man appears to be the only cheater here.
But since he list all the standard (except small dick) excuses the loving wives use and they are honored here I see nothing wrong. Just a stupid slut (face it she is stupid and a slut) and poor miscible husband. So "Nothing to be concerned with folks just keep moving along."
She is cheating, I know. But if the writing does not give that information she is NOT CONVEYING HER MEANING OR INTENT OF THE STORY! IF THEY ARE STAND ALONE STORIES MAKE THEM SUCH!
This seems to be an accurate description of complicated and conflicting emotions. The problem I had is a bit of whiplash - you kept saying you wanted to please him ("more than anything") and at the same time (it seemes) you strongly wanted to get out of there. Perhaps you could do a bit more work getting into the fine details of these feelings and create a smoother story that ties them together?
by
Anonymous11/14/11
nice emotions
Your conflicting emotions drive this story, You seem to thrive on wanting to be outrageous but not quite yet. I think your character was pa little put off by being do wet, but also pleased that she her brand blouse were stained with cum and that possibly everyone on the train knew it and maade you for the 'slut that you are' , which was probably pleasing in your own way . I would like to see you write more .
I am an artist and do erotic illustrations. I would be pleased to collaborate with you for a story with hot images .
English
Yummy
Love the way you write - I hope you will post more stories real ones if you have them and fiction if not.
keep writing nice lady
John XXX
Yummy like the pile of crap that it is...
Written by a sicko for sicko's like the prior anon. One star because no zero stars.
yummy like the WBC
blewdogg and the rest of the wannabe cucks spanked to this one while dreaming of creampies, nice job, they love the cuckoldry
actually i liked this
it dodnt sound fake at all
Not really a story
but as a scene in a larger piece it would work. Well written. Characters were fleshed out about as much as the short piece would allow and the descriptions were good. Write more.
Nice Piece
In reading this, I liked how you showed the mixed emotions of your character (you in real life?). The excitement of the situation but the guilt in the back of her mind.
The only thing is I would say is watch your grammar a bit more. There are some places were you missed a word. No biggie as the reader could figure out what you meant.
Keep writing and I'll keep reading!
if true
If true as you say it is one can only hope your husband and kids find out before you take a disease home with you and they can get on with their lives without you.
Really!
This is o.k. behavier for a "wife and mom", you left with a smile. Yikes, you'r word means nothing, you'r marriage means nothing, you'r kids mean nothing. So what do you really have in your life, not love, honor, trust,just a little kinky sex. Good luck to the family, with you in it they will need it.
complex emotions
Humans and their interactions are complex, and don't necessarily fit into prescribed patterns. Great story because it brings a lot of those desires, doubts, and confusion to the page.
Thanks.
Fine, ok
If you notice the word husband is not in the story in fact the man appears to be the only cheater here.
But since he list all the standard (except small dick) excuses the loving wives use and they are honored here I see nothing wrong. Just a stupid slut (face it she is stupid and a slut) and poor miscible husband. So "Nothing to be concerned with folks just keep moving along."
ps nice twist on the old standard story
Yes I know
She is cheating, I know. But if the writing does not give that information she is NOT CONVEYING HER MEANING OR INTENT OF THE STORY! IF THEY ARE STAND ALONE STORIES MAKE THEM SUCH!
(I will now remove my soapbox and leave the room)
This has potential
This seems to be an accurate description of complicated and conflicting emotions. The problem I had is a bit of whiplash - you kept saying you wanted to please him ("more than anything") and at the same time (it seemes) you strongly wanted to get out of there. Perhaps you could do a bit more work getting into the fine details of these feelings and create a smoother story that ties them together?
nice emotions
Your conflicting emotions drive this story, You seem to thrive on wanting to be outrageous but not quite yet. I think your character was pa little put off by being do wet, but also pleased that she her brand blouse were stained with cum and that possibly everyone on the train knew it and maade you for the 'slut that you are' , which was probably pleasing in your own way . I would like to see you write more .
I am an artist and do erotic illustrations. I would be pleased to collaborate with you for a story with hot images .
this woman is mentally ill.
I feel bad for her family.
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