All Comments on 'Red, White, and Blue Halloween'

It looks like a decent story; I gave it five stars. But in truth, I couldn't read past the first two paragraphs. I have a son in the Army.

Ms. Neale - Your story is beautiful. I cried while reading it because I think it is so apt. Thank you for dedicating it to our defenders. You cherish their service and it shows in your writing. Thank you for sharing what you treasure.

This was a wonderful story that hits close to home for some family members of the military. As a veteran I really appreciate your story and thank you for sharing it with us. It was well written. Keep up the good work and again thanks for sharing it.

An excellent representation of some of the pain, passion, and quest for living that many feel. As a retired Army guy, I appreciate the thought.

It brought a tear to my eye.

Thank you for this story.

Like another, I could only read a bit of it and gave it a full 5.

All gave some, some gave all...

A very moving story; it created a little humidity somewhere between my glasses and my eyes.

A retired sailor

i cried and smiled, excellent story, thanks for posting it and writing it.

Donna

Well, I know that this story will tug at the heartstrings of many, many Americans who visit this site. I think you can see that in a number of the comments here and I understand that. Moreover, my heart truly does go out to families of service people of any nation who lose their lives in the course of their duties, but the truth is that this isn't actually that good a story. You do write clearly and grammatically but some character development and plot complexity surely would help.

I will now take cover from the inevitable barrage of patriotic outrage.

I really enjoyed the read but felt that the story got rushed half way through. But I still gave five stars :)

a bit rushed, but it has possibilities if used as a basis of a longer series

Dear Azure and Catwoman,

Thank you for your comments. Yes, actually this is to become a series of novellas next year. Sergeant Mike's Miracle Tour. This short story was told primarily from Esther's POV, but Mike's will be his voice. I am very excited about it all.

Tara

A wonderful story, not only a tribute to the families of those killed in far away places, doing a job that most would not, but also to those noncoms that didn't just regard their subordinates as fellow soldiers, but regarded them as their family away from home. Can't wait for the series

What a wonderful tribute!

A huge thank you to everyone that voted for this story. As I said earlier, Sergeant Mike is taking on a life of his own. Tomorrow is the 1st day of NaNoWroMo and I will begin from the start to tell Sergeant Mike's story...from his point of view. I will be publishing his story as a series of novellas through Kindle, Smashwords and PDF. Each month you will have the chance to share one of Sergeant Mike's Miracle Tours. I will not be charging for the stories but I do ask that you make a donation to one of the wonderful organizations who help our injured soldiers or their families. Anyone wanting more information may email me or visit my website. Thank you once again for all your support.

I do not know why your story did not win, it was the best i have red so far. Made me cry. thanks, kate

All i can say really is thank you i am from a military family, I have lost three friends doing their duty to our great country my mother is among a great number of people in the military including friends and soon myself. This was an amazing story that I say was the best I've read. Thank you.

The content was spot on. Yes, there were errors in grammar, but those were easily overlooked. The story touched me as a man and a father. As an American I thank those who stand in those places and do battle sometimes paying the ultimate price. We seldom think about those left behind. Your story is very well done congratulations.

I can say nothing that will actually convey what I felt while reading this story. I was crying for Esther, for Michael, for Tommy, and for every single person who has had to deal the pain and heartbreak of knowing your loved one isn't coming home. That they have given their lives doing the duty they volunteered to do.

I am a vet. My sister, parents, and uncles are vets and, while most people appreciate and honor the sacrifices of every one who serves in a uniform of this country's armed services, this story brings out the feelings of those who come home or wait at home for those serving.

Thank you.

My husband is deployed and I haven't heard from him in a while. This story broke my heart.

Its not as easy as people think to get a hold of there loved ones back home. I am on a small camp so I am an exception but other places are 5x larger then this and many soldiers want the same thing, use the phone, use the computer. And if there not remotely located sometimes impossible to reach their loved ones. So please dont feel that something has happened as a result of nto hearing from him.

Thank you for a very good story.

an outstanding story which had me reaching for the tissues, a touching reminder of all those who fight for their country and the families who stand behind them xx

thank u for the great story and to the men and women that serve our country, u will never be forgotton, but always remembered as our hero's.

Great story. So nice to see those left at home find a new life and purpose. Our fine youg men and women give so much and those at home are seldom remembered for what they give. It's time to remember why we can talk abut birth control in an election campaign and how much it has cost to be able to do that. Let forget the crap and keep this great country that we have fought so long and hard for.

Your beautiful story deserves more than 5 stars.

I can't thank you enough for this wonderful story

Hey folks,

To all of you who responded so beautifully to this story, I have some big news. I have just re-written the whole thing (it is almost 25K words now and includes the hot sex I only alluded to in the short story) and have released it as a novella at Smashwords and Amazon. I am donating 50% of the proceeds to charities serving our boys (and girls) and their families. But if you email me here, I will send you a code to download it for FREE as a loyal reader.

And it gets better...this is going to be a year long series. The next one comes out for the 4th of July and is about Sergeant Mike arriving back in Camp Pendleton, picking up his Harley and his 1st stop. Then another one comes out on Labor Day, about the death of his best friend in Desert Storm. And for Halloween this story gets re-written...through Mike's eyes.

I love you all and appreciate the response that this story has generated. Oorah and blessings this Memorial Day weekend.

Tara

...and I'm glad I did. Terrific story. You brought tears to an old vet's eyes.

Second, I commend you for donating to veterans' charities. God bless you!

A friend suggested I read this, but didn't warn me about the need for Kleenex. I wept as I read this beautiful story. It was so heartfelt, so well written, and one that makes the reader smile, and in my case, cry like a dang fool. It was just to beautiful for words.

Well done!

I have to say, one of the last things I'd expect to find on this site is a heartfelt story that would bring me to tears, or one that would honor our members of the armed forces in such an unexpected but profound way. I am very glad to have stumbled upon your story, even though I do need to find some tissues...

BEAUTIFUL!

JR

What a great story. Easily worth 5 stars.

it becomes a way of life, look at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, TK U MLJ LV NV

As my tears flow down, I sit here in awe and wonder at the profound beauty of this small, heart-warming, heart-rending little BIG story. Thank you so much.

oldcorporal2000@yahoo.com

this is a wonderful story

filled with sadness, happiness, But most of all love

you have an ability to bring tears this old man and am not ashamed of any of them, love your writing/storytelling. Thanks

And no, I'm not ashamed of a one of them. Have seen to many fallen comrades-in-arms myself. 13.5 years in special forces will have that effect on you. Forced to retire myself after getting to shot up to stay in. Was planning on putting 25-30 years in.

This is an incredibly poignant story. The emotions roused are heartfelt and personal. The tears shed are without embarrassment and with pride for our country and the goodness of humankind.

Loved this story. Five stars!

From an Iraq vet, THANKS.

what a beautiful story

Words cannot adequately express the emotions that this story arouses.

You tell it so well.

Cheers

RJ

A platoon officer was once asked what the most difficult thing he had to do in the war. His answer was to write to a new Gold Star Widow and/or Mother to let them know their child wasn't coming home.

You certainly understand.

Your sweet story hurts and also helps. I lost someone I thought I had saved. I was there in the combat zone trying to save the injured doing better work than ever before. My troops under me were normally whinny teens were absolutely great under fire. It's like we all remembered EVERYTHING taught in nursing/tech school so we could never lose those we were trying to save, but we lost a very few anyway. Those few loses hurt me and especially one little girl who captured my heart Elizabeth Lonche. I cry a lot. Johnny Stansell jgstansell@yahoo.com

I'd be happy to read short stories like this one, anytime!

I have read this story a couple of times and always with tear’s

Thank you to all that have Served

A beautiful, poignant story!

Very touching story. Brought tears to this old vet's eyes. Just this evening I was asked "What is the true meaning of Memorial Day", which is 3 days away. They were really surprised at what the holiday is for. Some of us still remember it being called Decoration Day and buy a poppie and understand what it means. For all my brothers that did not come home, may they rest in peace.