All Comments on 'A Slave to the Servants Ch. 21'

by DoctorWolf

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VoluptuousValkyrieVoluptuousValkyrieover 12 years ago
WOW!!!!!!!!!!

What twists! Great job, I can't wait for Chapter 22!

Curiously_LookingCuriously_Lookingover 12 years ago
Things are heating up!

Man, it's getting interesting now! The women want to breed Ciara and other men know about the women controlling everything. I think it would ultimately be bad if many more families learn the truth. It would disrupt the entire compound, but not in any way that's beneficial to changing their society. Nu-Reeh would probably keep Damien's family in the mountains indefinitely and punish them to boot. It could however be a first step to changing, if the men can gradually learn to handle the knowledge without losing their minds. We'll see.

I don't know what I feel about that punishment in the end. They were right to be upset with her, but I can't honestly say that I wouldn't have shared with Rose, (maybe not Fuji). Talking to someone and having them commiserate with you keeps you sane. She shouldn't have given ALL of that information though. That was a mistake I think. But the brothers' punishment smacks of the slavery that we have supposedly moved beyond. The only thing that stops me from condemning it in my own mind, is that I think they would have done the same to one of the men for such an infraction. You know, if they weren't bonded and so don't speak out-of-turn.

I loved that Ciara attacked that warrior. I mean, I knew that it wouldn't be well received by the compound, but it was just so awesome! I hope she progresses to the point where she can have some limited success against a warrior. Speed and technique over strength, at least for a limited time.

If Ciara had more children and they had the mindset that Hannah has, that would perhaps enable them to escape beyond the mountains. But they would have to be girls and there's no way to ensure that. I would never want to have a boy on this planet. You'd never know what happened to him. And they would take him so quickly that it would be heart-breaking. Hannah can come and visit. Any male children would not have that luxury. It's a quandary.

huntersangelhuntersangelover 12 years ago
oh my Gawd!

can i tell u how pissed i am?????????? if ciara does not get angry over this treatment i will be even more pissed off! that was bs! wow, i love this story don't get me wrong, but oh wow, she had better not take this without a fight! now i am really waiting to read the next chapter with angry, angry anticipation! wow dw, you really made my blood preasure rise with this chapter! once again great job!

lilwolfspiritlilwolfspiritover 12 years ago
*smiles slightly* Awesome chapter.

*sniffs softly and wipes tears* i do mean this is one of the best chapters so far, i know most of the other readers won't understand this punishment and will be outraged by it, but let me tell it from a slave's point of view.

1) A slave must always think before she/he speaks to others, no matter if they are friends, unless her/his Master or Mistress has given Their permission before hand.

2) A slave gives their trust to their Master/Mistress. Just as their Master/Mistress gives Their trust, in keeping of this thought, a slave must understand just because they are giving freedom to speak with friends doesn't mean to tell Family secrets. A slave must use her/his discretion in all matters of a relationship.

Just because Ciara's Men didn't tell her not to speak to her friends or tell them what is going on in their world doesn't mean it was right for her to do so..It will be a painful lesson she must learn.

She must learn to think before she talks and hopefully this punishment will do this. If not then i see another punishment in her future.

As in all punishments it is a painful experience but one that a slave learns from. And that is what its all about learning from ones mistake and not repeating them.

Keep up the excellent work hun and i can't wait to read the next chapter.

Donna.

PS

*grins impishly*

i can't wait to see how others react to my comments. Especially that Anon person..

katgoddess1katgoddess1over 12 years ago
I don't like it

Apparently Ciara is only family when it is convenient for the men to allow her to be. No matter how much a person screws up, family should never beat them. There is absolutely no love in that kind of treatment.

GimletEdgeGimletEdgeover 12 years ago
You need all flavors in a great meal.

This chapter brought us bitter ones.

It put the lie to any notion that Ciara is not really a slave in her family.

I can't help thinking that this chapter brings us closer to an uprising. Now there are three bands of brothers who know the truth about their situation. Plus, we have seen that even Ciara's limited training has prepared her for armed conflict.

And now Hannah's strength is doubled by Ra's. Big change is coming to this part of the planet.

I wonder what Hannah would do if she found out about the punishment her mother received? Plenty of drama ahead.

123udontknowme123udontknowmeover 12 years ago
Human Breeder

I'm so shocked that Nu-reeh wants to breed her. Yeah I kinda figured she'd want another child or two, but 24... comeon. O.O I wonder how large those babies really are since Hanna was born early. I loved how Ciara defended her family, although it did get her in a heap of trouble. Then Rose's/Fuji's Family of men found out how the world works... I'm very worried of what is to happen next. I'd hate for others to come by and disrupt the natural order of things, thus causing the death or removal of Ciara.

Her punishment was expected, but the manner it was done was unexpected. She may be Sister to them, but come on, don't beat her. O.O The brothers don't beat each other up when they make mistakes. I just hope Ciara stays alive and with her Masters. . . . Maybe popping another child or two. Although an uprising does sound appetizing, but that can't happen. With 4 men, they couldn't subdue 1 woman from Ch. 9. Even if they were warriors. Three women (I assume is how large a group of sisters are) can take on 5 of the strongest warriors... an uprising just doesn't seem believable. O.O

yelloeroseyelloeroseover 12 years ago
I'm Soooo pissed!

But I knew that her blabing to that Fuji bitch was going to come back and bite her in the ass!

Ciara's story is addicting.. Thanks for the fix Doc

mokkelkemokkelkeover 12 years ago

what an update, things go from high to low very quickly.

i do feel for her when they start punishing her for talking to rose and fuji. it's quite a severe one as well.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Just so everyone is clear I'm pissed with the characters not the author!!!!!!!

c'mn Ciara has to feel I little betrayed n I agree with one of the previous comments that she needs to be pissed after this all throughout the story she seems so forgiving I don't think us humans are that forgiving if we were then we wouldn't be human she needs to hold some grudges or give them the silent treatment.

I know some times humans do things without thinking of their consequences and I can understand Damien n his families anger also but hitting her and having her call them masters seems a lot drastic specially after calling her their 'sister' I hope they do feel remorse for their actions rather then it just being Ciara who does.

Overall this chapter was a killer with so many intersting developments which I didn't expect at all such as Ciara being bred I am sure that in itself has lead to so many possibilities and new chapters yay!!! lol

As I was typing Ciara's name I realised that it isnt even her true name will she ever want to use her old name since she has regained so much freedom now should she not ask for the right to be recognised as herself.looking forward to the next chapter hope it comes quickly..

kiwiplumkiwiplumover 12 years ago
GimletEdge

You've said it all.

"It put the lie to any notion that Ciara is not really a slave in her family."

That fact will lead the story in even more interesting ways. This is surely my favourite story now, so unique in both storyline and characters, I so appreciate my weekly fix DoctorWolf, and that the chapters are always a good length.

I assume that while they are teaching her a lesson they will eventually learn a lesson too...

Cheers

rissa200204rissa200204over 12 years ago
lots of confiction going on in this one for sure

this last one while very very intense took a lil more sadistic turn then i think could be believable.. pain with pleasure is one thing but pure pain and in such a manor to leave her blacked out is a trust breaker and the gods help em if Hannah finds out bout this i don't think She would take it lightly much less any future children Ciara has and shares memories with. Deserving punishment and being brutalized is 2 different things. and yeah the whole your Family then doing that in private reducing her back to Slavery at their whim shouldn't cut it either with her or her kid(s). alot of peeps into the D's lifestyle or want to be think that blows with a rod isnt so bad but um hate to say it 30+ blows to a novice subbie with a rod will leave most folks blubbering incoherently unless it was truly mild blows as these were not and never to an exposed clit lol i would kill a man for doing that to me. now i suppose the healing cream with fix most of the damage and leave her sore but the memory of the pain wont fade as fast nor the facts of who delt it.. will be interesting to see how she deals with it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

This is definitely my favourite story and I look forward to every chapter. However, Ciara's beating in this chapter is a bit distasteful. In any real family mistakes, once acknowledged, are forgiven. I hope the story doesn't continue on such a path. However, this is a really good story overall, and grateful thanks are due to the author.

kelleigh0127kelleigh0127over 12 years ago
I love the story but, I'm so Conflicted

I understand we all as humans make mistakes in telling the wrong people things but, the punishment that was issued to Ciara was just harsh. Plus if they the Masters look at her as family why the hell are they Punishing her and like the way they were?

She is still a slave but a better treated slave in my opinion. I know one thing if she ever says another word about herself and her family to Rose & Fuji(sp?) I'd be shocked. I didn't expect Rose of all to rat our anything Ciara told her. That is the ultimate betrayl.

OzkiwiOzkiwiover 12 years ago
Bravo DoctorWolf

Once again you out do yourself. I reiterate my views regarding the character development are up the with the likes of the Belgriad, Robert Jordans Wheel of time series and George RR Martins Fire and Ice novel to name a few. The character constructions are wonderful, as can bee seen by the outraged comments of readers not at the author but at the characters. Truely remarkable writing, and I await my next dose of a wonderfully wicked, plot twisting installment.

willieonewillieoneover 12 years ago
Another brilliant chapter and...

I am not shocked to see the comments on her punishment it was a shock. I love this story and look forward to each weeks installment!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Loving Tuesdays

Tuesday is rapidly becoming my favorite day of the week. I can't wait for each new chapter to come out. Your story is a delightful read. Keep up the great work.

I've noticed some of the comments regarding Ciara's punishment feel the "family" has taken a step back and Ciara has been demoted back to slave status. I took a different take on her punishment. I felt the punishment showed how much the men feel Ciara has become family. In light of how the men view their own beatings and take great pride in their ability to withstand any punishment, I thought Ciara's whipping was almost a statement of how far she has risen in the collective mind. "Our 'sister' is worthy of the respect of a proper beating." Anyway, that's my take.

Can't wait until next week.

sheehy898sheehy898over 12 years ago
The End

Didn't like the end,mainly because the story seems to have gone back about 9 or 10 chapters and for all you people that wondering what, will happen if Hannah finds,we know she can't because she has already stated that she would kill the men and the author has said they are a required piece of the story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
New Chapter

I always wait for your next chapter and always enjoy them, though I have never left a comment before. I always leave one chapter already anticipating the next. Unfortunately, I cannot say that this time. The punishement, while perhaps within reason, was just too much for me. It seems to me that it had less to do with teaching and more to do with unthinking obediance and pain in the extreme. That this would not engeder fear of her men in her seems highly unlikely. Showing willingness to beat to cause pain to suposedly learn something that has already been done and cannot be undone....Too much for me. I will be wary of reading your next chapter, as I imagine your character would be wary of making an apearance. But to each their own. I will simply hope the incedent forgotten and left behind.

milli81milli81over 12 years ago

love your stories!! and this chapter is no exception! I can't wait to find out what happens the following day at the compound.

Never stop writing!

wildsoulwildsoulover 12 years ago
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm freaken speechless. Seriously, I am mad angry! Honestly, how can Ciara not tell Rose & Fuji? They're also practically her 'family' too in a sense of this strange world. With the crazy things that happening to her she needs to let it all out just to be a little sane. Might I add that the brothers don't fully understand her well enough. For example, when she told Damien about her birthing experience and he just dismiss it as if he EVER gave birth before. I am also disappointed with Rose.... she.... I have no words at the moment. The happy thing about this chapter was the meeting Of Ra. She seems quiet lovely and sweet. Especially when she called Ciara mother! Will Hannah ever found out about this punishment? and if she does can you make her take Ciara away. Ciara needs like a no drama life right now. I feel bad for her (even though she understand the punishment *roll eyes*). I don't even want to talk about the brothers also but I do want to know whose gonna impregnate her this time? is it still gonna be Damien? Thank you so much for updating! Definitely cannot wait for next chapter.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

Best Chapter thus far.

PhantaseaPhantaseaover 12 years ago
Alien world

I am quite enjoying the story. You are one of only two authors who bring me back to this site multiple times a week checking for updates.

That said I dont have a problem with her punishment. She endangered the family in an extreeme way by telling her two best friends. I totally understood why she did it and would probably done that myself in that situation. However the fact is that her friends did tell their masters and if they had reacted the wrong way it could have gotten them all split up and all there slaves sold our given to other families. The permanent is valid. A little extreeme for some of us perhaps but valid none the less. There must be consequences for our actions whether pleasure or pain. Should they reward her for putting them all in danger? Perhaps pat her on the head and tell her she couldn't have understood like a sad little lower lifeform? They knew better. She made a bad choice she has to take the consequences of her actions. This is not earth, she can't expect the culture to react the same as earth.

As for must inspire fear now... Do we fear our fathers when they spank us? It seems extreemly painfull at the time but we understand that they do it because they love us. Even though it sux at the time.

Please don't take the drama out of her life! I have no wish to read a boring story about some tart living the full pioneer life on an alien planet. I like excitement in my stories.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Disappointed

I was disappointed with the brothers. I think that they took the punishment to far. I think that she would regress. That kind of punishment would cause her to fear the brothers even though she knows they wouldn't damage her. They would because the damage would be done mentally. It would make sense too if she began to flinch when they went to touch her intimately, because she would associate any touch there as if it was going to cause pain. I think that it would help the story if she withdrew into herself, not speaking to Rosa or Fuji at all. Speaking to the brothers only when ask a question. Maybe her behaviour mimicking the brothers when their bond was breaking and broken. I think that it would make sense if she became physically wary of them especially Damien. But no less wary of the rest of them either because they had all agreed to the punishment. A total mental withdrawal into herself seems reasonable when they said that they wouldn't hurt her, and so soon after what they told her the women want of her.

Just some thought's;

GVamp.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Thinking...

Had to think about this chapter before giving a comment and then read it again. I at first had a very sad reaction to the beating of Ciara. All I could think of was how could they do this to someone they love? But my reaction comes from a human perspective and these men are not. I believe they think that physical punishment for placing there family in danger by exposing them to others is the most honorable way to deal with the problem. It is what would probably happen to them so they think it appropriate for dealing with Ciara. I might not like there methods but I think I understand them. Thank you DW for producing such thought provoking work.I can't wait to see where your story leads us!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

Damn, DW, you sure threw a wrench in the whole "family" storyline. I never saw that one coming. What a twist.

I, too, agree with GimletEdge; they call her family but they see Ciara as their slave. They punished her like an unruly human slave of the red mountains and Ciara is now back to seeing herself as such, calling them Master.

Ciara is a survivor. She has always found a way to make the best of situations but it's hard to see how she can bounce back from this loss and face her future a as brood mare after already losing so much.

nysh75nysh75over 12 years ago
WOW

I am at a loss for words on this chapter. It is more of a love/hate relationship. I loved that Hannah found a way to see her mother and that Ra called her mom. I dislike Ciara's lack of control and all the sniveling and crying she does. I hate that Damien and his brothers cant't seem to make up their minds about the boundaries of their relationship with Ciara. I know they felt the punishment was needed but they have an outlet in each other with the added benefit of their bond. Ciara had no one to vent to except for Rose and Fuji. I agree that she would have gone insane holding all of that in! I hate the way it came out as it seemed she was just revealing stuff all willy nilly and that wasn't it. I had hoped that this chapter was going to be the one where they found a way to free Ciara and her "brothers" from the bondage of the women. Where she could see her daughter all the time, live in peace and bear children for her men if she/they chose to and even remove the implant that controls the men. Maybe consider Hannah finding out that there is a planet with earthlike similarities where renegade slaves have escaped to and live happily ever after. I just want Ciara to have some peace..true peace. Looking forward to chapter 22.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Empathy

I didn't like this chapter very much. Part of the process of understanding why slavery is wrong is empathizing with your slaves. You have shown that Ciara has come to empathize with her owners but they have yet to do the same for her. They want instant knowledge when they think she is hiding something from them yet when she wanted to know what they were keeping from her they made her wait. Then at the end they think beating her is the way to keep her from telling her friends how she feels. If you are really true to your story than you should know beating a woman won't keep her mouth shut if she really wants to talk.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Dissappointed

i have to say i like this chapter the least. i look forward every week to the continuation and this left me upset. ill be waiting for the next chapter but at this point i am not enthused just merely dissappointed at the turn of events. im very sad with the treatment and lack of loyalty amunsgt the "slaves" regardless of the relationship with the men. i have a fear there is no happy ending and you will have Ciara breed like a fattened calf. Sad

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
stunned

I have followed your story closely. I believe you have a great deal of talent as a writer. Far more then the the majority of writers on this site. Your story is not just about sex, but like all fantasy should, you use the setting to make a statement, and cause your readers to question certain ideals. I have greatly enjoyed every chapter and always given you five stars. But, this ending is surprising and I am not sure what to think. I imagine the next chapter will ultimately deciede how I feel. Does this punishment forshadow the events yet to come? Will the compound fall apart as the men seem to think it could? If that is a true possibility, I can understand the men's line of reasoning, given thier "Paterian upbringing".

Will the men feel remorse when they realize that their punishment has caused Ciara to pass out? Surely, that was not thier intention? Yes, Ciara said too much, but how did they expect her to cover a pregnancy? The other slaves are not stupid and they knew something was up, anyway.

My guess is that this that the story is about to move to an explosive place, and that this punishment is in part letting the reader know that. I have faith in you DW that you will ease my concerns in the comming chapters.

Mistress_DeziMistress_Deziover 12 years ago
Love it

Love the twist... but wish Ciara would be more cautious of what she's saying since she's always afraid of being sold off to someone else. Can't wait for next week installment... Keep up the good work and twisting things up making it more interesting...

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
repetition

Doctor wolf, you said you wanted to know if we liked it or not. Well, I didn't like it. My reasons for why have already been posted so I won't be repetitive.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Give Rose a Break

After reading the comments here, the first thing I want to say is about Rose's "betrayal" and the anger over the slaves not sticking together more against their masters. Rose was kidnapped and sold into captivity long before and the only way she had to survive was to be obedient to the men and try to be a good slave. Her life and physical well being depend on it. Despite years of that conditioning, the nerves about the new punishments from the red mountains, her knowledge that now breeding is a possiblity, and the fact the she knows they will know if she's lying- Rose still tries to lie to her owners to rather than tell what Ciara told her. Then when it is forced out of her, she's so distraught she can't look her friends in the eyes and is sobbing over it. That's some serious loyalty, so no more hating.

I have thought for some time though that Ciara was being kind of an idiot for telling other slaves what was going on, because this is the logical outcome (that kind of foreshadowing is part of some excellent writing, btw). Especially with Fuiji- of course she'll tell her owners. Duh. I get why Ciara would have to tell somebody and can't hold that against her (and once her pregnancy was showing, that part wasn't her choice) but I think it was deliberately dense of her to not anticipate any of the men finding out what the slaves knew. So I'm curious to see what happens between the friends now- how do they keep the close friendship while knowing that they can't keep each others' secrets? Can they ever trust each other with the knowledge that they can't really trust/depend on each other? Very interesting questions about how a friendship can work within these boundaries now that they've been pointed out.

I agree with the majority here that I'm unhappy with the punishment, and it drops Ciara right back into "slave" status. One nice lady made some points about it being a reasonable punishment to help a slave learn- I'm pretty sure that's what's got everyone in an uproar. She's not supposed to be a slave anymore. Some people mentioned that the brothers themselves have learned and been disciplined through beatings, so it is something a family member would be subjected to. I like that perspective and don't entirely disagree, except... when the General starts taking his whip to their cocks, we'll talk again. They didn't take the cane to her back. The fact that the beating was, in large part, to her genitals is a clear sign that the punishment is meant to reinforce their control over every part of her- her body, her sexuality, her decisions. Also the mask was restricting her breathing- that's some serious shit. She even reverted to calling them "Master" which had been a huge turning point previously and they just bulldozed through it, giving themselves justification on how that was for the best, without any input from her at all about a significant moment in the relationship.

I don't see how the relationship could continue without serious consequences, like others were suggesting. They beat her unconscious. That is not a small thing and even if there is no lasting physical damage, there has got to be some serious mental and physical issues for a human. Even if they were justified in some familial anger at her loose lips, they went 10 steps back in the respect they've been giving her, not even trying to see her prespective in pretty much the whole chapter. Which was really sad for me to see after their recent progress. I hope they can get back on track, and I hope this doesn't break her, because "punishment" like this is how people are broken.

Sorry I'm a bit long winded :)

~Marie

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
The men's perspective

All in all a very good chpter DW. I cried, for Ciara, for the Brothers, this is becoming a very, very deep story.

For those of you frustrated by the beating... The brothers just came back from a coupling in which they were whipped and beaten (badly enough that these tough men would scar) then they faced another beating at the hands of the compound. For them a beating is a proper punishment and Ciara erred very badly. It wasn't just her harm to them but the other families as well. Rose's and Fuji's master were the close friends (allies?) of the Brothers. Not only did Ciara damage their relationship with their friends, but she possibly damaged the bond between the other groups of brothers. Rose's masters simply got up and left without saying goodbye. Ciara hurt Damien and his family in a way they probably don't understand.

Also note there was no sex in this story. The brothers seem to be avoiding using her? After the coupling they intentionally started a fight with another family and they all left during lunch. (their decision to leave was before Hannah arrived, she was not the cause). They knew they would be punished and their punishment would keep them from Ciara. They sent her to bed by herself on multiple occasions, they seem to be doing their darndest in not getting her pregnant.

I have read these chapters numerous times, I noticed the men seem to feed their arrousal from Ciara and she from them. Are they trying to get her to fear them? Would it drive the arousal from them? Would that make it easier for them if she did fear them and the touches they bring? If enough time passed and Ciara did not become pregnant or if it took so long for her to become so, would Nu-reeh relent and give up the idea of 24 children?

So many questions... please DW help us out...

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
I think this world is fucked up....

....really. Ciara or let's just tell the things with their real names Rachel was being through a tough brainwashing - first slave, then tricked to believe she is a 'Sister' but the reality is she is still a slave. The real indicator how she has been bleach-minded is how she even came to accept she will have to breed two dozens babies on the whim of the genetic abominations that called themselves women on that planet.

I really hope there will be a way to get back to Earth - better cleaning toilets in the mothel than being the 'ornamented' sex-toy on Pateria. She must remember what was the taste of freedom.

The truth is Damien and his brothers don't know and are maybe genetically incapable of feeling love. If you trully love another you'll never harm him or her. And that's the thin red line between the human mind and that of Paterian's.

I hope Rachel will realize how self-diluded she is.

The story is very good.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
wow dw, you really opened up a can of worms this time!

i really hope i'm not reading about an abused wife who finds justification for every punishment her husbands give her. because so far it looks like that's the direction this is taking. in the last chapter she aided the men during the "question and comments" section after her punishment. I can't believe she justified that and then basically gave the other men the idea that this was a good thing to help them find another way to get excitement out of their sex lives. i don't mean to sound angry but i witnessed first hand the behaviour that ciara is displaying and it was not pretty or romantic.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Delightful

Each and every week I look forward to this story and without exception you never fail to amaze me with your seemingly limitless imagination.

The twists and turns are simply delightful and the story has your readers speculating wildly and are as revealing as the story itself. I wish my own writing was as accomplished as your's is.

I look forward to next weeks exciting episode of Slave!

Steve150177Steve150177over 12 years ago
Everyone please read this comment

As DW's proofreader/editor I feel that I must make this comment now. I just wish there was some way to put it somewhere where all the readers would see it.

I can not and will not speak for DW. Unlike Rose I will keep her comments to me a secret, except to say-- There is a happy ending to this story, after some more twists, but happy at the end.

1st I had forgotten that Rachel is just a "girl", she was taken by the slavers when she was 18 and she came from a disfunctional family. She never knew her father and her mother did not love, care, and teach her properly. She has been on Pateria for about 2 years now, but time flows wrong/slowly here. At 18 her brain was not fully developed. The part that develops last is the frontal cortex, the part that allows you to foresee the consequences of actions. This is why the age of majority has been set at 21 for centuries. Who knows how much more her brain has developed. Anyway she is likely to be immature.

2nd Like "Anon Thinking..." said Pateria is not Earth. They do not have prisons, remember how they punished Ciara's would be rapists. [I do not know, but it now seems to me that DW's world is patterned after the BDSM or M/s community here. In this lifestyle when a slave makes a mistake he/she is given corporal punishment and then forgiven. They are treated like children.] Her Men have been whipped several times in front of us. We know that is how it is done on Pateria. They would use that as the model of how to punish Ciara. The reader, Anon Loving Tuesdays, is right; Her Men would expect her (as a full family member) to take an extreme whipping in stride as they have done. It is a matter of honor.

3rd Few have seen just how bad the consequences of her actions can be. So far the comments have mostly said that Her Men may suffer some. But consider, just because Rose's men have not broken their bond, does not mean that all families of men will not break and if they do, it is often fatal to them all. Just how is the General going to react if 2 families [10 men] in his compound die from this. Further, what about the slaves? You could compare this situation to a child, in ignorance, playing with a silenced machine pistol. Spraying bullets all around that nobody knows about until someone gets shot. Good "people" could die from this.

So, Ciara is immature and stupidly shared secrets with all the slaves & espically with Rose and Fuji. When Rose was forced to reveal them to her owners their bond almost broke which could have killed them. Her family punished her in the only way they knew, fully expecting her to become their Sister again as soon as the punishment is over and she has learned her lesson. In her pain she made them Masters again, they did not demand or expect this to happen.

BTW-- for those of you who want there to be a revolt, all the 'people' in a revolt need to keep their mouths shut. Premature leaking of plans will surely cause them to fail.

The next chapter picks up where this one leaves off, as Ciara wakes up from her "fainting" from the pain.

MissEmMissEmover 12 years ago
Omg

My heart is pounding after that installment mostly in anger but part arousal it's the bdsm incorporation... Poor Ciara I just wanna smack those brothers - its not like she new the rules or she can talk to them about her fears... I'm annoyed with rose and fuji too tattle tales...

Fantastic as usual I can not wait for the next installment to see how the relationship has altered again - it seems now she's too be made a breeding slave... I would love to see Hanna kick the brothers arses for punishing her Ciara like that and also the women for putting her through another pregnancy only to have to 'give up' the child so quickly... Maybe it's like an alpha thing if Hanna could kill Nu'Reeh she could take her place and really free her mother!! I can imagine a really good fight scene with that

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
wow......

this chapter just blew me away.

Minnesota61Minnesota61over 12 years ago
Abuse not Punishment

Due to the abuse, not punishment, doles out on Ciara this chapter was very disturbing. This is the first chapter I rated lower than a 5, only a 3 here in hopes Ciara will assert herself. Ciara can't take this laying down, she must do something to let them know that will never happen again. Ciara must remind them that they promised they would never hurt her and now they hurt her in the worst way. That she was supposed to be family but now she is even lower than a sex slave. It would be very interesting to see how the men react if Ciara reminded them that there is no way to keep their abuse from Nu'reeh. We know female children are born with their parent's memories so Nu'reeh WILL find out. Asking the men what their punishment from Nu'reeh will be when Nu'reeh finds out what they did to her prized breeder would be interesting.

There are lots of ways this can go but Ciara must assert herself or a great story will go down the drain.

sylvershadesylvershadeover 12 years ago

A human girl alone on a strange planet bound to a bunch of men who have nothing in common with her, of course she needs someone she can actually TALK to who will understand her and not look at her like an alien. This is as much their fault as hers. If they did treat her like an equal they would have listened to her opinion about being a brood mare and then maybe she wouldnt have spilled the beans to the other slaves. And the whole "training" thing--really? If I were in her shoes, it only would have trained me not to trust them. Sure I wouldn't talk to my friends any more after that, but then not having anyone to talk to who would understand would just make thins worse.

Anyways, I normally like these, but the combination of no sex and illogic did not make this one very fun :(

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Always a good read!

And it's been particularly fun having such a long list of comments so quickly. It's like the chapter kept going a bit longer!

I understand why the brothers did what they did. As a family member, she was entitled to the same treatment as the brothers would receive for some grave infraction. However, there are some major flaws in their thinking which are bound to have some consequences if events follow logically. First, in the beginning, the brothers promised over and over again that they would never hurt Ciara. They would become upset and frustrated if she expressed concern that they would hurt her. Now they've broken that promise in a big way, even if in their minds the circumstances have changed. For the brothers, their own painful beatings are no big deal. They seem more concerned by the prospect of their punishment being boring. That is NOT how Ciara's mind works, and they've failed to take into consideration that the pain (whether a beating or childbirth) IS a big deal to her. It constitutes a fundamental lack of understanding and breach of trust.

Even if she understands their actions intellectually, there would be some behavioral changes after such a punishment. Some would react by becoming sullen and withdrawn, trying to punish the brothers with silent treatment. That doesn't really seem to be part of Ciara's temperment. She seems more likely to try to accept the brother's reasoning, because they control her life, and she has always tried to make the best of it. Her reactions are more likely to be more subtle, at least on the surface. An involuntary flinch, trying a little too hard to be perfect...But I could see her reaching a breaking point and suffering something like PTSD. Lord knows she's been through enough to trigger something like that!

Another issue is that the brothers have always been essentially participants in their own punshments. As Bane showed when he pulled free of his bonds, they suffered the punishment by choice. Ciara was entirely helpless and certainly not willing, and that is a HUGE difference. It is the difference between play and active torture or abuse.

I'm fine the story took this twist. It is interesting and highlights more of the differences in culture and thought processes between Ciara and the brothers. But I would be disappointed if it went easily and with no consequences. As Ciara learned, even innocent actions can have unforeseen effects. The brothers should come to understand this as well.

Little BirdLittle Birdover 12 years ago
Really well done

I really like the beginning. You can see what's comming, but don't know for sure until it's openly revealed. And at the same time, it brings new tension to the plot that will easily support the story for several more chapters.

Are you writing as you go, or do you have a complete plot-line you're following to it's end? It reads as if the story is developing as it progresses, but always keeps the tension without ever appearing to run into a dead an. I really like that a lot.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Wow

I second everything that the anonymous commenter before Little Bird said. While Ciara may understand logically what the men thought they were doing, the idea that you can "train" a family member not to misbehave by beating them goes against the grain of her culture. It seems most likely that she would attempt to follow their instructions by erring on the side of caution and saying very little. I personally can't imagine how she will be comfortable having pleasurable sex with these men, who were supposed to protect her and be her "family" and her equals inside their rooms. If someone whipped you to teach you a lesson, would you ever want to sleep with that person again? But she'll have to, since she's now a brood mare. How will she deal with that?

I can imagine this effecting her relationships with her friends negatively as well. And what will happen if Hannah finds out?

I can't wait to see how you deal with this in the next chapter!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Well

I have to say the brothers really kind of pissed me off in this chapter....Perhaps they need a lesson themselves.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Stunned

Wow! This story gets better and better! Do you think you could manage two chapters a week ;) I would be very grateful

GrumpyGambyGrumpyGambyover 12 years ago
Good chapter!

This chapter has moved the story forward so well and the intensity is back 10 fold.

Looking forward to the next chapter and I vote for Ciarra to develop some chutzpah. She is family? They should treat her as an adult and build consensus. She is a slave? Then they are free to punish away. Only she should decide which role she'll play.

lovenlearnlovenlearnover 12 years ago
Interesting, but the brothers deserve what they ask for...

I thought it amazing that after Nur-reeh told Ciara/Rachel that she had no need for another child that she would want more partially human offspring. Within days, the brothers painfully punish Ciara after her friends blab her secrets.

Personally I think the brothers should get the "silence" that they "requested" with the punishment in spades. After two major shocks and all that she has been through, Ciara should verbally and emotionally withdrawn from brothers' family "bond". It will be interesting for the brothers to see how their actions have consequences. Most people are not mentally built to be a "slave"... to anyone or anything.

Looking forward to the next chapter...

LillithArchivistLillithArchivistover 12 years ago
Wowza.

I think Damien and his Brothers overlooked the fact that while humans are intelligent and can handle mostly anything, any human is prone to breaking down when they feel the most vulnerable, as Ciara did when she realized she would become a breeder. A person would think that the Brothers would've realized this and perhaps still faulted her for it (rightly so, as Ciara mentioned herself) but beating her into silence seems kind of harsh. A different punishment may have been just as effective.

I don't know how I feel about the ending. It's good - VERY GOOD - but at the same time, I want to shove that whip thing up Damien's arse. =/

Anyway, great job with the tension, as the others have mentioned. I can't wait to see how Ciara will take this turn of events. (I personally hope she wakes up and clocks one of the Brothers in the face, but that's just me. =])

nicoleoohxcnicoleoohxcover 12 years ago
Wow.

Just when I think you're going to run out of ideas, you shock me. Great job!

huntersangelhuntersangelover 12 years ago
i just have to make another statement

i am wondering why if ciara needed to be punished for her speaking out, why didn't they just whip her like before? what was the point of it being done the way it was? oh and steve you said that this story has a happy ending???? i'm so glad to hear that. inspite of my feelings about the ending to this chapter i still love these characters. oh yea, and someone mentioned the boys recieving a few swats to their groin area, i'm liking that idea. maybe they will understand ciara's pain and humiliation.

oh wait i have one more thing to say about the revolt idea, i just remembered the women have implants in the men. so wouldn't any uprising be put down without the women having to physically get involved or before it gets to out of hand?

FoxyHoundFoxyHoundover 12 years ago
I have to agree with so many of the other comments

I love this story but the beating for pure pain so she learns control about when she can and can't open her mouth and to whom was simply too much. It was too much. They can't call her family and then beat her till she blacks out. It would and should drive her to not speak at all. To anyone. How can she trust what will come out of her mouth even to the Brothers. What if she says the wrong thing again even if by accident? Is she to be beat every time she opens her mouth "wrong"? I would think her only option at this point is to only speak when spoken to even with the Brothers and to call them Master all the time for fear they wouldn't want to be "brother" that day. She has so many rules at this point she is unlikely to get them all right anymore anyway so she should just hide in the corner till she is a pregnant again. She is either a Sister who can decide for herself or a slave to be beaten and used for it's purpose. The Brothers are the ones that need to learn control. By shying away and not speaking she could teach them we don't hurt the ones we love. We discuss and argue if we have to but we do not cause pure pain.

And I have to agree with the person that said what about the children to follow. They will learn what there fathers did to her and want they be just as irate as Hannah was when she learned of the punishments.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
too much

This is way too much for Ciara all at once. Not only is she becoming a breeding slave but she's beat without mercy by her "family"? If you go on and don't emphasize that the brothers' actions have consequences for how Ciara feels about them, you're just admitting that Ciara as a woman was meant to be a slave and that the brothers as men always know what is right. It's like they have the onerous responsibility of guiding her when she's so obviously wrong. These guys aren't perfect and they made a real mistake here. Ciara shouldn't be expected to go through all she has without any sort of friendship or release of emotional tension. She had every right to talk to her friends. In addition, the fact that every other slave could clearly see the evidence of her pregnancy was not her fault. I love this story but this was really disturbing. If she comes back in the next story all humble and understanding of why her men had to beat her, it will be truly disgusting.

kissntell13kissntell13over 12 years ago
I agree

Have to agree with Foxyhound and Anonymous with "Too Much" as the title. I love, love, love this story, but this "punishment" seemed a bit off and a reversion to the way the guys were in the beginning (and I was soooo liking their growth!!!!). And either Ciara is an equal or she's a slave - they can't keep effing with her mind and going back and forth in the way they treat her.

Also, just a little pet peeve of mine -- it's "piqued my interest," not "peaked"

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
This isn't Kansas Toto!

One of the evidences to the cleverness of your plot is the slow pace the commenters are taking in the realization that this ain't earth we are talking about here. The men aren't 'men', as in human men. This is an alien (to us) race, or collection of races, on their planet, not ours. They don't think our way. In fact, the story appears to be Rachel learning to be Ciara, a human learning the alien ways of her NEW world. Will it be permanent? Your choice, you Author you! In the meantime, she struggles to learn her new world, her new life, all of the new rules of her society. And the consequences of not following those rules. Ignorance is costly.

Personally I felt the betrayal of the brothers. She blabbed! It is clear to me that she shouldn't have shared everything with her 'friends'. How naive (at best) or betraying (at worse) of her! And really, punishment?! If the men wanted her punished, punished she'd be. Remember the posts! No, they are engaged in behavior modification - and for what purpose? Revenge? Spite? No! The sooner Ciara learns, really learns about her role, her life, her world, the better for the family. Her actions may yet prove much more costly than you've revealed thus far.

Ciara and her men are on a journey in search of a new equilibrium. Something changed when Rachel slipped through that portal - and none of them could have anticipated how. I like her attitude, that they will survive this...I think we all want them to not only survive, but to prosper, and eventually triumph. It is hard to imagine that at this ebb in her experience. However, there is something that doesn't quit about Ciara. I like her and I like her brothers.

And I think I want to have a threesome with my wife & Hannah.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Children

If she does end up having more girls how are they gonna react to the situation? I think the brothers are forgetting how much of her memories and feelings are shared with her children. I can imagine them getting their comupence from her future children. Not to mention what hannah will do to them when she finds out.

loumey1loumey1over 12 years ago
Conflicted

Just want to start by saying that you're a very talented writer, DW. I personally am not into the whole D/s thing, but chapter after chapter I want to find out more about these characters, which is a testament to your writing ability. Hats off to you.

As for this chapter, like many, I definitely feel conflicted, and all of it (of course) centering around that last punishment.

First let me say that I do not blame Rose or Fuji. Fuji's talking was sort of a no-brainer. She's a different species with very different views on what is appropriate. I will say, though that I was a bit surprised that Fuji's owners never said anything to Damien and his brothers. As for Rose, well when you're owned by walking lie detectors, there's really not a lot she could have done.

I have been expecting Ciara's talking to come bite her in the ass at some point, since she really has been too free with some of these secrets. I understand why she did it, but the fact is she's been lucky she's gotten away with it this long.

That being said, while I understand the cultural perspectives on beatings and lashings (this is a warrior society after all), I did think the brothers could have handled it better. They themselves came to the viewpoint that slavery was wrong, but the behavior here feels like owners, and not like family.

I think I would not have felt this way if the punishment had been something like lashes to the back. That is what the men themselves get, and to treat her similarly makes a statement that they are according her equal status. Instead, the nature of the beating seemed designed to denigrate rather than accord the respect of an equal.

Ultimately that's what is at the root of my mixed feelings on this chapter. It's not that she was beaten, but that she was beaten as a slave and not as an equal, and therefore it feels like a large breach of trust.

That being said, lots of interesting developments in this chapter, and I am curious to see where things go. I can see quite a number of potential problems for Ciara with future offspring. Not all human siblings come to the same conclusions given the same information. It will be interesting to see whether that holds true for the Patoreans since the information is given by direct exposure to mom's memories rather than through spoken word. Plus we're talking an entirely different species, so the 'wiring' may or may not match human siblings.

Also I have been wondering if Ciara would ever want to take her original name back. I could see arguments for either case, but what she is called may not be a large concern for her.

Looking forward to the next chapter, thanks for writing!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
well written...

...but this chapter really bummed me out. Certain parts of my body were twitching in sympathy toward the end.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Love this chapter

the end was definitely different but in a good way. I like the variety of sexual interests you put in your story to cater to everyone. I am also happy to feel that you are not trailing the story off into a conclusion :) MORE more :)

MygypsyMygypsyover 12 years ago
WOW!

I love where you are taking your story. I love that you are not afraid to GO THERE. I love that you don't take the easy path and give the readers a sappy, wet, weak story.

Keep writing and keep true to YOUR story.

Your characters are strong and can survive it,

wildsoulwildsoulover 12 years ago
@ Steve150177 (I appreciate you, DW is Zeus and your Hera!)

I understand what your saying, no doubt. But what troubles me was how they punished her. The brothers got whipped on the back/legs/arms right? shouldn't she get whipped on her like that too? WHY ON HER 'SPECIAL' places? That's one of the main issue I have with their treatment. Another thing i just want to get out of my system is that the brothers don't even try to understand her way (or the way that she lived), they just go like "oh yeah? okay, the end". As I had mention early about the birthing experience. Why does she always have to accept their way and try to understand their practice/lifestyle? Is it not selfish? Especially when Damien and his brothers have a problem--they face it together--T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R--but she always gets left out. Why can't she have something like that? Better yet, someone (ANYONE) just like that! As Ciara has stated, "I hadn't felt like an intruder on their family life in a long time." They leave her out, to protect her no doubt but when your a family every single person is in on it.

And of course the thing with Rose is that, like Damien and his brother (or all the men on the planet), I felt that in some way Rose and Ciara kind of had that bond too. Their relationship seems like a genuine friendship. You know, the ones where you don't back stab each other, steal the other persons man, etc. Of course I'm not saying that Rose HAD to lied to her master but there is a difference between lying and misleading! And seriously, when you cannot look someone in the eye like that in that kind of situation, you know you failed the person (hence, the guilt or failure). I know I am truly harsh on the friendships but I value friendships a lot. Actually any kind of relationship I cherish greatly. And one thing that I loved about this story in particular is the amount of love and devotion these character possessed. But after the Rose incident, I feel as though the slaves are truly nothing but a bunch unintelligent creatures. Seriously, they have become nothing but a freaken doll! It's freaken depressing. I thought that since Rose had Ciara she would remember to... I don't know, to think! Have a brain. I can't even articulate correctly and logically about how I feel about this.

Please do not think that I give Ciara a Get out of Jail free card because I do not. I agreed with everyone that she has a lot of stupid actions and caused a great deal of trouble. I was actually up for her punishment too but I feel as though she got more than she deserve. But of course, I know everything is apart of the plot, hehehe. {Oh and I just want to quickly apologize to DW, if your reading this, I am truly sorry for ranting so much!}

jsdns173jsdns173over 12 years ago

In response to the comments I'm seeing from Steve and others about Ciara's punishment being because she's family so she should have to take punishment the same harsh way the brothers do. But she's human, and they do a lot to care for her in other ways, so why stop with this? And why wouldn't they know that she has a need to talk to friends when she's got things on her mind? They've got their bond, she doesn't one anymore (since Hannah's birth) so she needs her friends to talk to. That doesn't justify spilling all the secrets, but she still needs to be able to talk to them.

Besides, didn't Nu-Reeh EXPECT the brothers to have told Rue and his brothers when their bond broke? She even said "We thought you would have told them--we thought you were friends?" Sounds like justification to me!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Very Good!

The story is coming along very well and your story telling abilities are amazing! I do have to agree with others that the beating they gave her was wrong. Yes she should have known better than to say all that she did, but they punish her like a slave who is beneath them and still call her family? I doubt they would do that sort of punishment to eachother. It really hurt my heart to read the last couple of paragraphs. Hopefully Ciara will not let them off the hook too easily and the brothers will see the errors of their ways.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
So Sad

I have loved every other chapter of this series and have given every other chapter a "5" rating. This chapter was so sad and really upset me. Truth be told, I hated this chapter, so I gave it a "1" rating.

While Ciara may not fear Damien, she can't trust him or the brothers anymore. For the whole series, Damien and his brothers have been telling Ciara that they would NEVER hurt her and that she could trust them. After this extreme beating, their relationship CANNOT be the same, and I would hope that DoctorWolf would not have Ciara wake up and be apologetic or feeling the same way about the brothers that she had been before the beating.

I loved this story because Ciara came to love the brothers as her family. She trusted them, and now they have betrayed that trust in the worst way. Ciara is now left on a planet with no one that she can trust. Her friends didn't keep her secrets (which is understandable), her "family" beat her until she was unconscious, she has no way to communicate with her daughter, and she is being forced to have more children that she will have to give up.

I feel like there is nothing positive left for Ciara in the story anymore. It is really depressing and makes me question if I should keep reading the series. If the next few chapters leave me feeling as terrible as this one did, I don't think I will be able to read any more of this story that I have enjoyed so much every week :(

SpeedySPSpeedySPover 12 years ago
You lost me.

This was a violation of their promise. This wasn't sexual-it was torture. It isn't punishment in kind - like she was family. She is being trained like a barbarian trains an animal. I don't have a problem with the content, but I think it was severely outside the character of the men. I understand the severity of the infraction, but I don't think that is the way they would have gone about it, based on the way you've written them to this point. This would damage their relationship. You can't just write that damage away by saying that she understands they wouldn't truly hurt her. They did. She blacked out from pain. They violated her, and didn't yield to her request to stop. I'm not sure that you can fix this. The only way for the story to proceed is with a total change of direction.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
I'd So Laugh...

I'd so laugh at Damien and his brothers if Ciara started calling them "Master" again. That would be a hard smack in the face.

Now, Ciara and several Paterian/Human females who are raised to hate the Paterian women. That would be awesome. Down with the system.

5 stars.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Disappointed

I concur, she could never trust them again. It's been more and more depressing as it goes along, and as wildly entertaining as the sex scenes and plot were, they are losing it quickly as I lose my hope for Ciara's freedom.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Yes

Did the men go over board? Yes... But I think this may hearken to their human blood line. She could be ruining everything its not the general they have to worry about but the woman what if they had to contain the men to keep word from spreading or kill the compound I mean she put many people at risk. They made a mistake one she will probably need some time to forgive but s mistake does not make them entirety untrustworthy it was from s protective stand point they did it in the first place. And rose kept it hidden all this time they literally caught her in a lie and not too mention she loves her owners too so it us probably just s difficult to keep secrets from them as ciara does her ' family' I can't wait too see how this plays out

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
1 star

Loved everything but this. Now I'm back to hating them.

DawnzoDawnzoover 12 years ago
Wow

I am really surprised at the feed back about leaving one star, I think that is pretty messed up just because you dont like one of the twists! Ruining an authors score I think is selfish, the writing was superb,the story is compelling, it is free, and I would say leave your comments but why punish someone for their own imagination it is a sci fi story for gods sake!! Ok off the soapbox now and on to the new story section.

zoyiabzoyiabover 12 years ago
shocked

In this family Ciara is much like a child who must be taught. However even with the mentality of "strong family strong punishment" I think the punishment at the end of this chapter is more of an abusive situation than something to learn from. Being beaten so harshly you black out is abuse. I would have liked to see her grounded,something along the lines of take away some of her stones or clothes. Make her think about what can happen because of her actions. She is very young mentally and never even thought that her friends would be made to tell of what goes on at the keepers. however as my children are learning, even though you did not see the fish bowl on the table runner you were pulling on the bowl has now fallen on your head and there is a mess to clean up.

Punishing her like the men from the red mountains punish their slaves only makes her feel like a slave. If I were in her position I would turn inward, I would not speak... to anyone. I would be mentally broken and it would show in my actions. I would become fully obedient and only do things as I was told to do them. The brothers have broken my trust. I hope they have not broken Ciara.

It is interesting after Nu-Ree had said she did not want any more slave babies she has indeed changed her mind. It bothers me that Damien can not understand Ciaras worry about childbirth. Maybe not so much that he can not understand, after all he is male, but he seems to just brush her worries under the rug. If Ciara is going to truly be a member of the family her concerns should be the family's concerns.

It just seems like this chapter has taken a step backwards from the way the brothers had been moving. I have loved this series so far, it makes me happy, sad, shocked, angry and many other feelings in-between. Any story that can make me feel anything is worth coming back to and look forward to a hopefully happier next chapter.

bluechick1976bluechick1976over 12 years ago
Adore this story, but not this chapter

I eagerly look forward to each installment of this series, and I can't wait to see what happens next. That said, I'm growing frustrated with Ciara and with the Brothers. The Brothers have such a lack of empathy for her and rarely take the time to listen to and understand her; she's "equal" as long as she's not making a fuss and/or allows them to browbeat her into agreeing with them.

And Ciara's continued mourning over Hannah - after receiving proof that Hannah is alive and doing very well - is getting tiresome. NOT that I think that she should just be able to roll with the whole baby factory plan that Nu'reeh has announced - it would be traumatic for anyone to be subjected to that. But Ciara needs to be able to make peace with Hannah's absence and her ongoing despair and seeming fear about it leads her to do a bunch of stupid things, like oversharing with her fellow slaves. (Early on in this chapter, I actually did start worrying about how much she told them, and I believe that SOMETHING had to be done to shut her up. I'm just not sure I agree with what happened.)

I do agree that physical punishment would make sense to the Brothers, even if Ciara was surprised by it. But such highly sexualized physical punishment? And carried out to the extreme that it was? They promised her that they'd never hurt her; they lied. They told her she was not a slave when she was with them; they forced her to call them Master in private. They call her 'sister' and insist she is family; they make decisions for her and about her without her consent, input, knowledge, or agreement, and then punish her for not following the rules they have assumed but not necessarily communicated to her. I think it's time Ciara makes a stand for what REAL family and REAL equality would be, not only so that we can see she's not irrevocably broken, but so that she can start modeling a better way of life to the Brothers. That way, if/when the revolution comes, the Brothers will actually know what the end goal would be.

Your story is fantastic, Doctor Wolf, and I'm going to be antsy until I read the next chapter. But I'm concerned that this current chapter marks a regression in the progress that was being made, and worry that it bodes ill for the future of this planet and the family we've all been rooting for.

pleasureseeker5pleasureseeker5over 12 years ago
Sadly, I saw this coming...

I made an anonymous comment after Ch. 20 about how I saw this story heading toward more extreme BDSM and was taken to task for it by several readers. Now I hope they see why I was so concerned. This chapter started out so great and had me crying and laughing--until the ending. No matter what Ciara/Rachel did, she didn't deserve what they did to her. It was horrifying to read that the brothers actually held her labia open so that Damian could punish her by whipping her vagina and clitoris until she blacked out. It doesn't even make sense--they swore they would never hurt her, yet caused extreme pain to the very areas that they usually sought pleasure from and that gave her pleasure. How could she ever trust or want to make love to them again? As for the idea that the brothers expect her to take punishment like they do: They have NEVER gotten their COCKS whipped until they passed out or been beaten while having to count and say thank you for every stroke or been gagged or had their breathing restricted so that they wouldn't yell out in pain. These are all extreme forms of BDSM, period. And this time Ciara/Rachel was an unwilling participant in her punishment.

If DoctorWolf's next chapter has Ciara blaming herself for everything, calmly accepting what they did to her, and willingly able to make love to them again, DW should post the story in the BDSM section as Ciara will have become a true submissive/pain slut. What's next, the branding iron?

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Done

Editor needs to stick to editing and stop demanding five votes and telling us what we should think. Done with this story after this chapter and all that. Too bad.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
(gasp) TWIST!

I love this story and love the writing. I truly enjoy it. I did think they went a little too far with her punishment but I can roll with the punches. I am excited to see how this story turns out. Good job, keep writing, don't let the comments below discourage you. I also LOVE Bound to My Mate! Love how it ended, I have read it over and over. People who don't write don't understand this is your release, meaning your way of expressing yourself. They don't really have a voice to comment on the content, they can on the writing. If you don't like it, don't keep reading. It's great, keep going!!

RightfullyWrongRightfullyWrongover 12 years ago
:(

I have to agree with pleasureseeker5. That ending really let down what has been a fabulous story so far :( To have them turn on Ciara like that would either turn her into a total sub (which would ruin the story) or have her totally distrusting them (also ruining the story).

Hopefully they'll see the error of their ways and spend a LOT of time apologising for being such arseholes!

(I've loved the brothers up until now and really don't want to call them arseholes lol)

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Ok. You finally forced me to comment.

As so many who have commented before me, I was more than a little dismayed by the ending of this installment. Having said that, there have been other portions of your story which have generated strong feelings from your readers. Each time you have somehow managed to later give valid and logical reasons for such distressing events to occur in this particular environment. I have faith that this chapter will not be the story-killer it appears to be, but rather a catapult that launches your tale in directions none of us have anticipated.

Eagerly awaiting Tuesday-next!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
This chapter...

... threw me back to my opinion of the first few chapters. Generally, slavery, rape, and beatings make me feel sick, not aroused or interested. Yet the series kept getting high marks, so out of curiousity I kept reading. It got better, and I thought the series was turning around. But now we go back to slavery, rape, and beatings. And though no sexual penetration occurred, the sexual torture they put her through was definitely rape.

Unfortunately I do not see recovery for the series from this. There is no way a woman after such abuse would trust the men. She would either break, or seek out some form of escape. Actually, check that; if Hannah rescues her then perhaps the story would be good again... but with the men cast now as villains. But I don't think that is in the cards, as it is not my story.

dweaver999dweaver999over 12 years ago
MIssing the point

Its clear that the previous cpommenters are missing the point of this excellent (possibly the best) chapter in the story.

Doctor Wolf is giving us a detailed examination of real slavery and the insidious nature of the institution. I've seen, as I was reading, the clear fact that, in spite of their protestations otherwise, that the brothers still own a slave. Yes, in part it's to hide what they feel from a society that will rebel at notions of freedom and such; but they have not yet, trully, given up ownership of Rachel (remember her free name?).

They still fell perfectly justified at imposing their will on her in the guise of deciding what is best for her. If they were going to trully free her, they would truy to convince her what was best and listen, with open minds, to her view points. The ending of this chapter, with the whipping of her legs and pussy is the *logical* progression of the story. In spite of calling her sister, they still insist that she needs to be controlled by them: that's not freedom, that's slavery, albeit in a gilded cage.

I'm looking forward to when the brothers have their hypocritical attitudes shoved in their faces. They are strong enough to trully change this world, but first they have to trully change themselves. This is coming, but they're not there yet. Just imagine Hannah and Ra's reaction to finding out what the brothers did. Mark my words, there will come a time in the story where the brothers are going to be forced to choose between the slavery they stil keep Rachel in and trully giving her the freedom to make her own choices. When it happens, I hops I'll be able to cheer the brothers on for finally getting the point.

PhoenixCodesPhoenixCodesover 12 years ago
Hypocritical

I dislike that despite the Brothers having assigned her to status of "Sister" instead of "Slave", you have gone ahead and had them become hypocrites, reverting to the "Master" position once again. This shows that the Brothers can no keep their word to be truly family, in the face of hard times... When she has wronged them, she once again becomes their slave.

In her position, I know that their disappointment in me would have taught me an extremely strong lesson, and that they could have showed that disappointment in many non-physical ways. Refusing to talk with her, or sleep next to her. Letting someone else feed her, ignoring her as much as possible... this would have shown her they were disappointed. What the physical pain showed her, is that no matter what they say, she is still their slave when it becomes inconvenient for her to be free.

Despite this criticism on the -Brothers-, the STORY is well written as always. I simply do not agree with the Brothers morals and hypocrisy. I speak as someone who has been and is a Master - if you give your word on something so important, and then take it back... Your word on that matter, and indeed many matters, will no longer be trusted. I look forward to seeing how Damien and his brother earn back the utter trust, as that is what they will have to do for this story to retain it's realism.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
My, my, my...

- poor, poor Rachel.

All those trials and tribulations that you jerk her (and your audience) through.

I can only watch in awed admiration how easy you make it look to have your readers in black despair after one chapter and in sunshiny submission after the next. Chapeau, chapeau!

Also, all but the fewest bleeding hearts out there still think nothing about continuously using Rachels slave name, funny thing that is! (Cassius Clay, anyone?)

You truly know how to hypnotise the audience, I mean having the vast majority saying the, let's be blunt here, cunt caning was way over the top and still receiving the little red "H". Kudos!

To write something the readers don't like and still keep them at it is no small feat ,I mean we're not in the BDSM genre after all.

But that I'm sitting here supposed to deal with real life problems and still find myself dreaming up tales of justified and violent retribution is no funny business at all, you devious author, you.

By the way, it might be a good idea to keep 'Stevie150177' on a shorter leash, because if it's supposed to be editor/proofreader it has no business speaking out of your mind.

And some of its inane ramblings made me snort at my screen loudly after these latest chapters. Shocking, I know!

Now I'm so looking forward how you will manage to dig yourself out of the little p(l)othole you've written yourself into this time. Really I am! I hold a deep grudging respect to you for pulling this stunt one time after the other, honestly.

Out of the mouth of the seven of the nines: "Resistance (to you) is futile".

Best regards

A nony mouse.

FairytalezFairytalezover 12 years ago
Already anxiously awaiting

It was a tough read, yes but so were the earlier chapters initially. DW, you're still an amazing author and have such talent! I love that I can't always predict what will happen next. I'm waiting on pins and needles to see how the next chapter of the story picks up! Thank you for such a compelling tale.

5 stars, as always!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
loved it!

I knew all of Ciara's talking to the other slaves would come back to haunt her eventually!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

Damien....I'm sorry, but I don't love you anymore.

P.S. Thanks again for the great story, I don't want it to end.

bk

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Keeping it Real...

I love how DW stays true to her creativity and throws in a questionable scene that has obviously disturbed some readers. It takes courage to tell the story the way it is meant to be told. The result: some are annoyed, some are aroused, some are incensed, some are angry...the point is that DW is a masterful storyteller who reels us in and connects us so much with the main character that we experience a range of emotions in response to Ciara's cruel punishment. Ah, DW, this is why we are addicted to the Slave series! I am so looking forward to the next chapter...how will the men expect Ciara to respond to this treatment? How will she act after this...I can't wait to find out!

Jayna

MygypsyMygypsyover 12 years ago
Ciara / Rachel

OK I had to add another comment after checking on what comments this chapter received.

TO ME Ciara will be Ciara, she can't go back to Rachel ... she has grown and evolved as a character in this story, I just feel personally that for her to 'identify' herself as Rachel then she would be regressing as a character.

just my opinion.

PaflickPaflickover 12 years ago
Owie.

Oi, I'm not sure whether I should feel enraged, sad, angry, or all of the above right now. Masterful storytelling, as always, DrWolf, but I can't help but feel that Ciara should be totally pissed after this.

I really hope she gets some revenge for this, I really do.

Babydoll1983Babydoll1983over 12 years ago

"Welcome back to your next installment! Hope you enjoy - if you don't please let me know."

What I don't like is that you ended the chapter THERE...What is wrong with you? lol Get back here and update soon please, I can't wait until next Wed.

Wonderful update. Sad to see that she is getting punished, but it has to be done!

jayloesep29jayloesep29over 12 years ago
re-populate

I think Ciera and the brothers should try to re-populate their way and leave their prison. I'm sure all of Ciera's kids will think like Hannah. All Hannah has to do is make sure she buys her brothers.

woahbabeitspagerswoahbabeitspagersover 12 years ago

i want the brothers to call her rachel. that will really be significant in showing she is no longer a slave. but i love love love this story and normally i am not a sci fi girl or into group sex. so that is major kudos to your story line and writing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Comments as long and emotional as the chapter

I wonder if the number of comments this chapter is generating will set a literotica record. You got folks all riled up DoctorWolf, but then a great writer with a fantastic story ending with an emotional whipping will do that. For me, I reacted strongly to the whipping too, and ended up feeling upset and confused. But I just won't know what to THINK about it until I read how you handle the repercussions for everyone in your next chapter. So I'll be saving my comments about the story for chapter 22. I won't be surprised if that chapter ends up generating even more comments than this one. Keep us all riled up, I love it!

Note to your editor: Please stop leaving hints and editorializing and just let people read and react to the story! When I read a story I start at the begining and go through all the twists and bumps to the end without taking a peek at the ending to justify what I am doing. I believe most others read this way too. DoctorWolf does not need anyone to justify her story, it speaks for itself.

Yves

SurprisingMyselfSurprisingMyselfover 12 years ago
Brilliant!

I don't know how many times I shook my head throughout the story after Ciara revealed something to the other slaves. I understand her need to share, but I saw the consequences and hoped it wasn't going to blow up in her face. The men seem to be trying to teach Ciara a lesson in a way they have been told is the very most effective for human slaves. I think they are more concerned for her protection then anything else, although she did drop quite a load on people. She could be taken from them and auctioned if this all get's out. Of course I didn't want to see her beaten, but I understand the brothers not seeing the torture part of it and just the technical aspect. They have only recently begun developing emotional characteristics.

That said, I still hope Ciara is pissed the next day, and not just for the whipping. The way they have treat her through all of these doctor exams, without bothering to explain to her what was being done to her body so she can bear a couple dozen kids. They no longer seem to have any compassion for what she is going to have to go through. They have their bond and Ciara has no one, especially now that she can't confide in Rose and Fuji. The five of them are acting pompous and unfeeling and they are treating her as a slave again. I would love to see her just blow up! Hannah and Ra's visit was welcome as always.

This was definitely one of my favorite chapters. SO MUCH going on! It flowed perfectly. Thank you DW.

loneironloneironover 12 years ago
torn

After I read this chapter I was upset, the battered wife was all I could see. However, after reading all the comments I have decided to suspend judgement..

DW you are an amazing author, I have developed a bond with your characters that has surprised me. Keep doing what your doing, I can't. Wait for the next chapter.

taniaricetaniariceover 12 years ago
Love it

I love this chapter. I agree with a lot of the previous comments regarding outrage at Ciara's punishment, and do think that there ought to be some sort of retribution from her towards them at them punishing her. It does irritate me constantly that she empathises with them, but they do not extend them same courtesy.

That said - the fact that this chapter has created such a debate and received such reputation demonstrates your skill as a writer. Sometimes you don't like what's happening to the characters, but that's important in any good book - bad things happen to good people, it's inevitable. It provokes a response beyond the erotic, and that, to me, is what makes this such a good story and such a fantastic read. Few other pieces of fiction on here have been able to make me laugh out loud and sympathise with the characters, so please keep writing, DW!

sweeter_sensationssweeter_sensationsover 12 years ago
first time I've dropped you from five starts to four

i hated it, all i could feel was this nasty pit of anger and dread in my stomach and horror that you would write that - especially the very last bit I'm shocked at you, shocked at the men and how barbaric they are. it's like they've reverted - they didn't need to do all that, i think you wrote excessively and i didn't like it. it made me feel sick and i feel betrayed - usually i have such a good feeling from reading this story - i look forward to it each week, but now I'm about to go to bed angry, upset, confused and betrayed.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

I'm curious how this will affect the brothers when/if Ciara/Rachel becomes pregnant and rebonds with them. It seems to me that it will have a PROFOUND impact to see her feelings and emotional pain, assuming of course, that she does not just roll over about it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

Well,

You have finally sparked me into letting a review, and it's not good.

First, let me tell you that I think you are a superb writer and I have absolutely devoured your other story, about the werewolf pack. Also, every week I have been waiting faithfully for the updates on this one, in order to marvel once again at how you can combine SF, psychological observation and incredibly hot erotica. I think the story is captivating, the details are awe-inspiring, the intensity of everything is breathtaking and the character development was amazing... until now.

I feel that we are not only back to square one, we are worse, MUCH worse than that, because now the Brothers are supposed to be the family who loves her, the people she trusts with her life.

Seriously? After Ciara jumps in front of a Warrior to defend Cristof, because she can't stand the thought of them being in pain (even though it is their fault for starting trouble), THIS is what she receives for her honest mistake?

I must confess that I am shocked, even if there were warning signs for the last few chapters. She is starting to supposedly enjoy pain and being punished, and being hit with a cane makes her horny as fuck. Now they are beating the shit out of her, until she passes out, and all she can think about is "oh, I agree with them, I'm learning, I'm learning".

I am very disappointed in this scene and especially in the behavior of Cristof, who is an active participant and not trying to stop the others. If in the next chapter she lets this go without them groveling at her feet for forgiveness, I will definitely drop this story. I have no desire to watch the transformation from real Master - Slave relationship to a cliche Dominant - Submissive/pain-slut relationship.

This is a very dark and dangerous direction and I don't think many people will follow you down that road. That is what the BDSM section of the site is for.

FB

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

The one aspect of this story I have always enjoyed was the world building. What has been revealed so far appears to be a very different and interesting social, economic, evolutionary and political setup.

Unfortunately it seems more and more the world building is only being used to foreshadow and justified, plot wise, the next round of increasingly extreme physical, mental and/or emotional abuse the character Rachel must suffer through. If this abuse, in some way, evolved the character Rachel, I could see the point but it doesn't. Sure, she acquires a few more coping and survival skills but other than that she wanders around, thinking thing are going to get better, until the next pile shit knocks her down. After 21 chapters, it's a bit much and becoming pointless.

The author's choice to blatantly sexualize Rachel's latest punishment is bewildering. Nowhere in this story has this been done before and, except for pure shock value for the reader, I can't see what the point is here. Also bewildering is the choice to have Rachel suddenly desire and enjoy extreme pain play. Unless she has an implant and the boys are controlling her desire, plot wise I can't buy this.

Yes, as a reader I realize I'm not in Kansas anymore but I'm beginning to realize I'm not in the Sci-Fi fantasy category but have been portal'ed over to BDSM. God, I hope that they have lots of that magic healing cream over here, Rachel going to need it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
First Comment, We All Know Why

So of course the end scene is sparking lots of comments and negative opinions. Just wanted to add in my two cents on this. I'm really not a big fan of the caning scene at all, it honestly got me a bit mad while reading it. But I believe Ciara/Rachel will find it in her to get mad at the men for making her actually pass out. I don't think by any means she'll just take it and agree with them, as everyone is predicting. Hopefully I'm right with this, so I definitely cannot wait for next week's installment!

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