its a little too short, and you rushed when you could have taken your time. and of course your lack of patience shows in not taking anytime to proofread
^actually, i couldnt have taken my time. i wanted to get the first chapter.. i suppose done before i went to work... sorry you feel it isnt up tp par
^actually, i couldnt have taken my time. i wanted to get the first chapter done before i went to work, I typed it on my phone ... sorry you feel it isnt up to par
by
Anonymous10/26/11
noooo, where's the rest???!!!!
I just got all wet and ready, where's the rest?????????
by
Anonymous02/05/12
hurry up plz
next addition even if short, soon!
by
Anonymous02/15/12
never write and submit when tired and its unfinished
you put yourself up for criticism
that being said, it was short and yes it was sloppy and a bit all over the place where you had her doing something but never showed her leading up to it, like taking off a jacket that she never put on
this is a venue for writers and critiques and you will get the honest if not venomous opinions of all, but take to heart when people give you clues on how to better your writing and use it to your advantage
English
a promising, if short and messy start
its a little too short, and you rushed when you could have taken your time. and of course your lack of patience shows in not taking anytime to proofread
^actually, i couldnt have taken my time. i wanted to get the first chapter.. i suppose done before i went to work... sorry you feel it isnt up tp par
^actually, i couldnt have taken my time. i wanted to get the first chapter done before i went to work, I typed it on my phone ... sorry you feel it isnt up to par
noooo, where's the rest???!!!!
I just got all wet and ready, where's the rest?????????
hurry up plz
next addition even if short, soon!
never write and submit when tired and its unfinished
you put yourself up for criticism
that being said, it was short and yes it was sloppy and a bit all over the place where you had her doing something but never showed her leading up to it, like taking off a jacket that she never put on
this is a venue for writers and critiques and you will get the honest if not venomous opinions of all, but take to heart when people give you clues on how to better your writing and use it to your advantage
MORE
I want to read more of this story, MAKE MORE NOW
More
that made we wet, please write more!!
Cant wait
So hot, come back soon with more please
You must've been tired when you wrote this...
A lot of mistakes.
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