All Comments on 'Tell Her I'm Not Here'

by qhml1

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  • 38 Comments
LordSlamdawggLordSlamdawggover 12 years ago
This could be a country western song Np !

Familiar theme. No surprises but this is teritory worth revisiting. Darn easy & obliquely humorous read.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

....Mostly I went back to bar tending because I needed something to do. My wife of twenty one years had died in an industrial accident.

........"I got a second chance with you," I said "This picture reminds me not to make the same mistakes."

.....???????

RHinSCRHinSCover 12 years ago
Yes

I have seen it many times. I have witnessed five or six all shaking their heads at the same time when the phone would ring. Like it was going to keep them out of trouble when they went home. If you are not at home...you are not at home.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
RandomHardon

got his creampie

tazz317tazz317over 12 years ago
YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT IT TAKES

to keep the mistakes to zero or a bare minimum. TK U MLJ LV NV

woodmanonewoodmanoneabout 12 years ago
Great story

Short and to the point. Maybe the line about his second wife could have had a little more intro but it didn't take much away from a very good piece of work.

Thanks and please more bartender stories. I used to tend bar way back in the stone age and it's like revisiting my youth.

Woodmanone

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Ok, so there's a mistake in continuity over the bartender's wife...

...(saw it in another comment) and I agree: a bit confusing and needs explaining.

It could be explained with an expansion of the story, I'm sure. But I am also sure it would add nothing to the story.

It's the right length for what it is. It feels complete to me.

I, for one, have forgiven a little error(?) like that before I even acknowledged it. The power of this story is in the moral tale. If your focused on the detail then have you seen the overall message?

In an attempt to reconcile the point anyway, I read it again. Here's my take:

Sure, he says his wife died in an accident, which is past-tense. Then, at the end, he looks at the photo of his first wife and explains why he kept it, as the reason he kept it is relevant to the story.

It then follows that there is no need for him to now dispose of it. He loved her and lost her through his own actions. He probably has it right next to a picture of his second wife, just not mentioned as it's not relevant.

After that, he talks about the reasons he gave to his second wife for keeping it, which she accepted, and made use of, but again, all of that is in the past tense. There you go, it works.

5 stars for a quality story. Heart-rending. If the idiot didn't head straight home to his wife and pay her some overdue attention after that, he gets what he deserves.

bruce22bruce22about 11 years ago
Five Stars

Continuity error and old hat are not relevant to this beautiful story of Buck.

chytownchytownover 10 years ago
Good Read***

Thanks for sharing.

phd70phd70over 10 years ago
Good Reminder! Thanks! ****

Good humor in this tale with a lesson for all! Well painted, QHML1. Dan

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
5 stars from me....

....and my wife! I had to read this to her, our son in law is a bartender and we wondered whether he sees many bar flies like the sad fellow, 'Buck', in this one. We all know a 'Buck', there is one in almost every town. We see him sitting at every bar.

Thankfully, I've never been a drinker, my wife never had to go anywhere without me so now we've been married 36 years. But we both know more than one 'Buck' in our little town of less than 500 people.

TavadelphinTavadelphinabout 10 years ago
Well told -

He might even deserve another chance - having learned - but that does not mean she should give it to him. He might have to find someone new to prove himself to.

We make our own beds so often and then find we do not like what we built - some of us of find ourselves like the wife with no bed so we go find a better one - good luck to all.

fanfarefanfareabout 10 years ago
contrariwise

Q, terrific story, concise and sharp to the point.

Now, if you took this story and reversed the dialog by the sex of your characters this story would be in the Loving Wives genre.

It is an experiment I have conducting with various author's stories. My hypothesis is that the authors for LW stories are subconsciously fulfilling the expectations of the majority of the LW readers, who are older, bitter men who justify themselves as the victims of feminine whiles and treachery.

The fact is, in Real Life the majority of adulterers and abusers and sexual predators are male. But you would never know that from the LW commentary.

photolvrphotolvrabout 10 years ago
Amen!

Amen!

Thank you.

captainhappycaptainhappyover 9 years ago
Very well written!

Great point and a nice job of sharing it! Kudos!

KarenEKarenEover 9 years ago
Ex-Wife's Picture

Loved the part about the ex-wife's picture!

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago

Well written and point taken as of course all yours are.

Ed Grocott

edgrocott@gmail.com

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
concise, terse and

told the story well. Scotty YR like Aesop here

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xover 7 years ago
Re-Reading

LOVED the ending!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
Good story...

...5 stars...thanx!

Loklie

MarkT63MarkT63over 3 years ago
F Her!!!

Go ahead and Divorce the bitch. She could have talked to him first, rather than move out and start screwing co-workers!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
read it again

Its a good story but I do agree that it sounds like she didn't sit down and have the tough talk with the guy. Instead, she just decided she was going to leave and be done with it. I hope in the divorce he doesn't have to pay to support her new life style. If that is the case then I would just up and disappear and let her have the cops or whomever try and find me.

dgfergiedgfergieabout 3 years ago

Interesting story, can't really identify with the rather be with the guy thing. I can identify with neglecting the wife though. My first marriage I got into racing cars. It was the most important thing. Couldn't wait till Saturday to go around in circles for maybe 10 minutes. Spent everynight in the garage till 9pm one winter rebuilding a race car for the next season. A few years later she left me with the two girls and married a guy I raced with, go figure. True story. Pay attention to your wife, happy wife happy life. Guess we all gotta have priorities. Good story but sad and true......................

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago
Lesson in marriage

As always the story line is simple and easy to follow. Beautifully written and very much more complete. Definitely a 5 star ✨🌟✨🌟✨🌟✨🌟✨🌟 ratings. Thank you for your story.

Ali Singapore

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago
If the wife don't like it?

Don't get married in the first place. People don't change. If she wants a divorce, give her a divorce. It's cheaper without her. Sell the house, buy a condo that requires zero work, hire a housekeeper and STILL have extra money to buy a boat, golf and play poker. Who needs a damn woman and a bunch of snotty kids???

baulloyder68baulloyder68over 2 years ago

Several years ago I was working in this little town just outside of Portland Oregon and frequented a little neighborhood bar a couple blocks from the motel where I was staying. The name of that bar was called

"HE'S NOT HERE". Guess how they answered their phone?

SimpleGuySquaredSimpleGuySquaredover 2 years ago

Short, sweet and simple. 5*

Though I do have to wonder how many brain dead motherfuckers are lurking here. Dump her ass if she bitches because you are totally ignoring and dissing her?

Who needs a woman and a bunch of snotty kids?

Loads of evolutionary dead ends here. Darwin would have had a field day.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Brain dead Republican commenters! Idiots, if you ignore your spouse they will start looking for a new spouse!

GuyfromShadesGuyfromShadesabout 2 years ago

Short, cute and honest. I liked it. Thanks for writing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Short, to the point and very effective. Thx.

5*

BJ

NitpicNitpicover 1 year ago
How

How come only one of the four lost his wife?.

newford9bnewford9b10 months ago

5 stars for a n explicit story, short and to the point

AnonymousAnonymous10 months ago

The democrat below is upset because he lost his meal ticket husband the same way, lol.

AnonymousAnonymous9 months ago

The republican below does not have reading comprehension

Calico75Calico758 months ago

Great little story. I really love these when they are well done and this one is.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Nicely written short story that delivers its message. Like it like it a lot. BardnotBard

AnonymousAnonymous4 months ago

Brilliant. One of the best stories I've seen here. Amazing how some writers can make an excellent story with a tenth of the words that other writers use with much less effect. Thanks for this effort and please do some more bartender stories and Pearls of Wisdom...

AnonymousAnonymous4 months ago

Good story. Never take your spouse for granted.

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Can you believe that soon I will have been writing here for ten years? I never imagined I'd last that long. I figured I would run out of story ideas long before now. Instead I've filed over a hundred story ideas yet to be written. I'm retiring in a few weeks. I'm going to us...