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English
GOOD BUT
it was good but you said it was cold out bit hard to see them undressing in the cold the sleeping bag would not stay on them for warmth. i hope you continue but keep it more realistic and try to keep the cheating out maybe she could get a divorce and move in with him.
another waste of time
yet another wannabe writer that FAILS to finish what he starts. before posting anything you should have all the chapters of the whole story in rough draft form. then you can take each chapter and proofread it to get the errors out then post it that way the readers don't get left hanging when you take a walk about for several years. either finish it yourself or get a good ghost writer to finish it for you but don't leave it llike this.
Not that bad . . .
I enjoyed it b/c I took it for what it is: a brief fantasy. Frankly, it's nice to find stories that leave something to the reader's imagination, stories in which the "hero" does NOT have a 12-inch cock and in which the sex is NOT the most awesome thing in the history of the universe. And yes, an unzipped sleeping bag can keep two people warm, especially while they're fucking. Gets the blood pumping, you know? I've been there, done that, and it feels great. A blast of cold air on the ass is a great stimulant.
As for Suzie divorcing Sam, their marital problems are probably the reason she wanted to fuck her cousin---iow, without Sam there wouldn't have been the sex in this story. She was fucking for revenge (though she might not realize it), and it's safer to do that with a familiar single cousin than to get entangled with a married co-worker or somebody she found in a bar.
WHAT
not the best story
Rubbish
Waste of time reading this rubbish.
Why is that ....
.... like "Anonymous - another waste of time" so many people who criticise make myriad errors in their own criticism??
If you are going to complain of spelling, grammar and punctuation errors, and lack of proof reading then do not Post a critique which is crammed full of those very errors!!
more please
this most definitely needs another chapter of a couple of pages.
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