Ten points for those that spotted the anagrams in the first chapter.
afraid to go outside
being followed by an unknown car,
problem with her father
buying the company
supervisor with an issue
shall I keep going with unfinished issues?
you did not need to bring Gracie in
where is the baby?
so many streams, so few conclusions
btw: where is the Symbian?
I've enjoyed it very much, and if you could wrap it up, that would give closure.
Yes I agree please conclude this story some time soon if only to give us all some relief!?!?
You have not lost too much by the absence of an editor in the last few chapters. The errors have been trivial enough to not be distracting. You should take this story on for quite a few more chapters, vs. "wrapping it up." However, a little more narrative drive would be welcome.
This could be a good novel, but you need to quit dropping characters like they have become stale crackers. What of the Maid? The Father? The ominous shadow vehicle? For that matter, is he ever going to give her the fucking ring? I would also like to see Francis confronting his former employer.
You have created an interesting story; you should explore it fully, even at the expense of some sex scenes. At times, the sex scenes almost seem formulaic, as though there is a metric that you are following (e.g., sex scene at no less than 800 and no more than 1200 words. The threesome storyline seemed a bit contrived at this point in the relationship- I could easily accept it perhaps a month further on.
That is not to criticize your sex scenes: they are generally well done.
I do hope that you come back to this series; I much prefer it to your other major series.
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