- All
Comments (3) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
Excellent
Great honey, good riddance to the other site. This is even better than before. Well done, the story really flows very well. Literotica does it better.
needs work....
Firstly let me say the idea you have is nice, crossdressing, grandmother etc. works, at least for me, keep it up.
But...
I can't understand how some stories make it through the scrutinisation process when i have trouble with 1 ? out of place, so some of these points are not wholly your fault, but also the administrators of the site.
You have large pieces of dialogue uncontained by quotation marks. You leap from one topic to the next and your analogies are really confusing. I'm all for quick and thrust stories but you really need a bit of a build up, even one line would suffice. Learn to use a comma now and then. Also sudden use of bold type has little to no real effect on the story line.
Basically the basis of the story is there I can see that, and I applaud you for it, just learn to take a little more time over getting there.
Crossdressing
I loved the story and how Harold was caught crossdressing. I would like to have read more about how or what Harold was thinking while he was dressed. Ella was wonderful, loving, open and tame. I liked the fact that Harold moved in. If gives one the idea of love, honesty and commitment. Thank you.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Caught or
More submissions by shoeslayer.