Dulling the Pain Ch. 01

well...

i hope only the opener is this short... this gives me the feeling of a LR 3+ page per chapter story, and I dont often get that feeling... even from LR 3+ page per chapter storys...

IE, continue on good sir, continue on!

Good start

Those who have read my other comments know that I prefer interesting, well written stories to "grunt, grunt, grunt." I'm an avid sci-fi reader, too, so I'm giving this four stars.

Promising start

Looking forward to reading more.

This was really fun, if a bit cheesy for my tastes. It was easy enough to forget that and just let suspension of disbelief take me, until I ran into one particularly obtuse line:

"her shoulder blades had what could only be described as an orgasm"

It would have been better if you actually described this part, instead of simply say (essentially) "it felt really really good."

Now I could easily let that slide and get back into the story, but it was something of a bump in an otherwise smooth road. Your concepts are very unusual and very good, and I think your writing is fine, just watch out for things like that.