by Feotakahari
using the bare minimum for storys... lame...
/removed from "looked for" storys
Do you mean that I need more descriptions? I'm aware that's a recurring problem for me. (I intend to put in a bit of practice on it when I write the second chapter of Eternal, since it will require a lot of description to be told properly.)
If you think it's the plot that's lacking, I'm a bit surprised by that. I put in what I thought was a decent effort on it, though I suppose I'm not yet at a level of skill where I can judge my own quality.
(Then again, you're probably not going to come back to this page, and given that you're anonymous, I have no way to contact you, so I'm probably just talking to myself here . . .)
I think the other commenter was expecting more for the sex scene. I didn't mind it's brevity, since it hit two of my major fetishes.
That said, this chapter was very brief. There's not really enough to get ones teeth into. So yeah, more discription would be good. A bit more internal reflection from characters perhaps.