by ravenwings
IF SO I CAN'T HARDLY WAIT BUT U B LIKE THE OTHERS ON HERE AND STOP AT ONE STOREY AND LEAVE OFF WITH A CLIFHANGER
I'm currently busy with my series, Taken by Fire, and this story about Cael was a little side project. If the ratings are good I will continue Cael and Alexa's story. :)
I think that this could easily be a 5 star story if you fleshed it out a bit more. It seems a little rushed to me. I would have loved to know what she was thinking, what she was feeling. what the area looked like, what exactly happened to her team members, etc.
Details would make it perfect.
Dont rush. Read your work again. Try to understand your characters. Make them belivable. And like someone else suggested, flesh it out. More detail, and please slow down. It is promising though.
I can understand a quick story amongst chapters of another but please continue this story we need more erotic horror stories
This was a poorly thought out story that was stolen from at least 3 different movies I've seen recently, The Mummy, just to name one. The dialogue is unrealistic and cheesy not to mention the numerous grammatical errors. Readable yes, brilliant? Come on now.