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English
WORD CHOICE KEEP GOOD STORY FROM BEING GREAT
CONGRATULATIONS. This is a good start to an obviously great tale.(1) Don't confuse stomach for belly abdomen or torso. You can't touch someone's stomach unless you are a surgeon. When we touch a person below the chest and above the waist we're touching their belly. The muscles just below the skin are the abdominals and (2) Don't confuse the transitive verb past tense laid with the past tense of the intransitive lay. I lay down beside her yesterday. I laid the package on the table. I'm enjoying the series so that should satisfy my nit-picking for now. Keep writing.
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