All Comments on 'The Doctor Ch. 01'

Chapter 02 will be added in a few days :)

So far so good (: Could be longer and more detailed though. Like the alcoholic rage and detailing how he gets rape

It's a good start to a story. I think you introduced two great characters who may have a challenge as they move forward toward a relationship, because of Alex's experience. The fact that Antonio is clearly a dominant personality and Alex is more of a sub, will take some careful stepping so that Alex doesn't feel like it's too much like what he came from and be frightened off. It is also tough b/c by being the doctor and then having Alex stay in his home, he is the one with power. I am interstested to see how you navigate this.

I just think it may have been good to have Alex be a bit more traumatized so soon after waking. A victim of rape would most likely be scared and embarassed in the beginning. He would have been all the more embarassed recognizing this person who he saw in a store and who he thought was attractive and who now had seen him at such a horrible/vulnerable state. I would have liked Antonio to draw him out a bit more slowly. It just felt unrealistic that after such a traumatizing thing, that he'd be inviting a strange guy, dr. or not, to sit on the bed with him. I don't think he'd be as cheery as he is, though some victims do go into denial and block out the experience.

I also think he'd be damn scared of the overbearing, 'you're staying with me' after having a man who dominated/abused him. It may be good to show the struggle in him knowing he has no where to go and may be drawn to this guy while being afraid and feeling vulnerable.

I like the characters and think it will be interesting to see the development of these two characters...the doctor trying to not scare Alex, and Alex learning to trust again. I'm sure you have a vision for the story and I hope this may help as you go forward.

Keep writing!

How does he know what belongs to him, and what belongs to Michael?

WHO WROTE THIS A FOUR YEAR OLD CHILD