I have never, ever found a story that was PERFECT,
but that is the only way to describe this story!!!
by
Anonymous11/10/11
Wonderful Fucking sucking wonderful
Absolutely fucking great
by
Anonymous11/10/11
very nice...! just one suggestion
Liked the story a lot...was really hot! One suggestion though, from a technical perspective. You seem to have a thing where certain phrases "repeat" throughout. For instance, early on, one phrase was "he was resigned to his fate". You say that several times at different points. There were a few other phrases that repeated in similar fashion. Just be mindful of that.
Fun read though . That husband is such a puppet ! Well we get the love & the government we deserve . Hope his 18 yr old trophy puppet mistress treats him sweet for awhile. Thx to author for reality break .
This was a great story. The pacing and atmosphere had you feeling like you were experiencing life as John. Even guys who just let life happen to them deserve to have one or two fantasies come true. Unlike a previous commenter I think one of the best parts was the believability. Once you accept that this is the one in X million guy whose babysitter actually falls for him, each of the characters behaves in a realistic and human way, even to the point of me wanting to warn John about that dominating streak in his new lover.
Great job, sethp.
by
Anonymous11/13/11
great story, too bad that it didn't get to titfuck the busty baby sitter; maybe next time
by
Anonymous11/15/11
great story
i hope there is a part 2 and the sister joins in
by
Anonymous11/25/11
Good Story
I liked your story very much. You could have had Rachel explain herself to John a bit more (IE: emotions, motivation, etc) and the ending felt very rushed. Still a very, very good story.
to find out that the wife was not there becasue she was fucking her lover. hot story - prefer not to have bubby a cheating piece of shit, but it was still hot as wife did not care. i agree the ending was a bit rushed - but you get a 5 anyway.
by
Anonymous05/22/12
Missing something
It really was a great story, I agree with others that the ending seemed a little short and rushed.
My biggest complaint though was with huge tits like hers, how could you not include at -least- one hot tit fuck session?! I kept hoping it would come up but it never did.
by
Anonymous06/13/12
the thing that this story wants
the most imprtant thing that they forgot to put was the video.
by
Anonymous09/23/12
Love the big tits on small frame
And kick that old cold dead bitch out and fuck that young tight warm pussy, YEAH BABY,right fuckin on,ya need a nother story to continue. John knocking up that young big jugged tight pussy little girl,blowing his baby batter so far into her tight snug puss she gets knocked and produces so much milk for John and the new baby
What a great fantasy! Loved this story and will dream of my own Rachel. Although my kids are a little old for a babysitter maybe I will substitute housekeeper for babysitter for my phase of life! 😊
I really enjoyed this story. I liked how you built up to the sex, and there was more than just a page or two. My only complaint was the ending seemed a little rushed. Other than that I loved it!
by
Anonymous07/06/13
hahah!
The last line ! Lol
by
Anonymous08/04/13
Bored?
Seems like you got bored at the end and tired of writing... "John and his Busty little baby sitter made babies and lived happily ever after."
by
Anonymous08/05/13
I like it--
all the talk about breasts, etc.,
I'm not being sexist--just that having breast-fed (there! that'll turn any guy off!)--
I have reactions to reading about breasts reacting--I've been programed by my (former) baby (see? not "hot" stuff--haha--but true)--
I mean that with breast-feeding for at least a year, one's breasts just react to sounds, smells, all kinds of things--
and they remember
("large" could, for example, make one's small breasts feel--curiously--something)
The story was erotic with shades of maturity, finesse, and professionalism entwined into a beautiful story. This is so realistic that one might firmly believe that this is just a reproduction of some personal events. I don't know the author but I would like to read several sequels or other chapters. What interests me would be what happens when the wife realizes that the babysitter is her replacement? Do the babysitter's parents have a volcanic uproar when they find out? What feelings are expressed when the ex-wife drops the children off and smells the home filled with laughter, aromas of baking and roast, and happiness? I liked this story - my favorite.
Thanks for all the positive Feedback, everyone! I really appreciate it.
I was wondering if I could ask a favor. Could everyone who really likes this story try the girl with the Silver Trombone and The Pastor's Halloween Confusion? And comment either there or lit feedback to me. I want to know if this one is that much better than the other two, or if you guys haven't read those two because they have bad titles. lol
Thanks!
Sethp
by
Anonymous03/04/14
Great story!
Very good story, well thought-out, very good writing!
Albeit, you might need to look for another editor, to do your final proofing, whom doesn't use spell check, because there were lots of single words in sentences, not there, that should've been! Some words with only one or two letters and the rest of the word not there, (all were simply spell check, trying to substitute a word you spelled correctly, for another you didn't write in, or simply typo's on your part, spell check didn't catch).
I found some double wording, right together in one sentence. It's often best and easiest for me to turn off the spell check "auto-word replacement" feature and just let the spell check underline the major errors. Then go back through, very carefully on my own and make sure spell check didn't foul me up worse, or didn't catch words with numbers in them, or simply my own typo's.
You just cannot trust spell and grammar check, to do final manuscript editing! It won't catch all the errors, but will make a fool of you, real fast, if you don't go back and triple check your writing! A very slow and thorough read through, after doing spell and grammar check, is the only way I know, to accurately proof your final copy, before posting it!
Still, even with the few typos or double wording errors, this was such an excellent story and so well written! I am so impressed! Thoroughly enjoyed reading it! :)
I loved the way the erotic sexual parts, built so slowly and naturally, so true to life real; along with the back story and the way John realized finally, as he fell in love with young Rachel; that his and Kathy's marriage had been toast for some years already.
Kathy, though she likely didn't realize it, had already left the marriage and their home, a long time before she left, without telling John goodbye, to tend to her sister. She obviously didn't care a bit about John, nor their wonderful young children! This woman has some deep, deep problems and the divorce, forcing her to live alone for awhile, might just help her see what a cold fish, so frigid, she truly has been and is!
The author of this story, is such a good story telling writer, taking plenty of time, that: I was reading as fast as I could, waiting for that first time, John & Rachel made love, or finally got their ashes hauled! Man, what a bunch of good love scenes that you've written into this story, as well!
I agree with others here, maybe you should seriously think about writing more chapters of this story!
Did John and Rachel stay together the rest of their lives, happy to be with each other? I sure hope they did! But, unless you write a few more new chapters to this story, we're never going to really know all the details of them living "happily ever after" together in true love, or why they did, are we?
Maybe they talk, snuggled-up together in love some night, right after their marriage and John asks Rachel, how its is, a beautiful young woman her age, could fall in love with a man his age? He's got to be wondering! Maybe write some further good back-story about Rachel, into this chapter?
How about another chapter devoted to Kathy and her back story of why she just went frigid on John all those years ago and was pushing him away, until the divorce? Was it early menopause, cancer she didn't know she had yet, or was she having an affair of multi-year duration, behind Johns back, or did she just somehow shut-down in depression, or whatever? Why did she end-up hating John so, or treating him hatefully, when he really didn't have that mistreatment coming?
Surely John isn't the only "heavy" for cheating on his wife, who had shut him out and pushed him away sexually, and most every other way; treated him with disdain and disgust, disrespect for so many years, even though John remained devoted to her, almost until the end of their marriage!
WHY would Kathy not want to touch her husband sexually, any longer?
At least, there are some real deep questions you could answer for us all, with a few more well written chapters! :)
What does Kathy end-up doing with her life? Does she just slowly turn into a real Ice Queen/Ice-burg and slowly melt-away in the sea?
Lots of unanswered questions, throughout all you've written in this excellent story! Dozens of great plot twists and fun or interesting Rabbit Trails you could write into this story, if you have a mind to do so! That would be great fun for all us readers! :)
I think the thing I liked about this story most of all, is: its true-to-life...believability!
I've actually seen this very thing, or something very similar, happen in several married couples lives, I've known!
This was simply a very good, well written story and I enjoyed it a lot!
Thank you so much! :)
You should give us a part 2, Show us what their life becomes.
by
Anonymous05/16/14
Does he...
,,,cheat on the babysitter with the new babysitter?
by
Anonymous05/17/14
series
great story I have read it at least 5 times. when are you going to do a follow up that tells what her parents think and about the wife who was she sleeping with and the life and love of john and Rachel after they moved into town home. MORE PLEASE
by
Anonymous06/27/14
AMEN! AWESOME STORYLINE!!!
AMEN! to what Anonymous wrote on 03/04/18!!! If you want an editor for your future chapter of this story, you can contact me at cocorox1818 at yahoo dot com. Let's talk!
by
Anonymous07/01/14
almost very good
Excellent except for the very last sentence. Really stupid. Next time allow the reader's mind to interpret the future.
by
Anonymous07/18/14
Sweet story
I loved it. How awesome is falling in love AND great sex. As good as it gets.
by
Anonymous09/30/14
great story
Rachel, John and the kids. Looks like Johns sister is on there side. The wife a cold fish I bet has been having a affair that's why she is such a bitch/
When do I get to read the follow up story.
Rachel has obviously selected her man and will do whatever it takes to land him. I'd like to have seen more of her eagerly using him and her encouraging him to do so. I'd also like to see an epilogue where Kathy and John end up in divorce court and the judge proceeds to take Kathy to the cleaners following depositions from Wendy, Rachel's mother, and a couple of the neighbors.
by
Anonymous12/30/14
great story
one of my favorites. when do we get to read the sequel. I feel sure that Kathy has been having an affair with one of her high brow friends either man or woman or both.
bring us up to date on John and Rachel and the kids/ it would be nice to find out why his ex wife to be turned into a cold fish towards him. if you have written one what is it called if not clue us in as to when it will be ready.
RON TEXAS cowboyridecc@yahoo.com
by
Anonymous01/05/15
BEAUTIFFUL
THE STORY IS GOOD AS IT IS ABOUT MAKING RIGHT CHOICES AND NOT BEING A COARD
Good story but do you have to repeat the size of her tits every time you mention them, it is boring we know how big they are, you told us in the beginning, that's enough.
Awesome! Hot!
Sethp! That was one of the fucking hottest stories ever! Loved it! You rock!
WOW A Work Of Art
I have never, ever found a story that was PERFECT,
but that is the only way to describe this story!!!
Wonderful Fucking sucking wonderful
Absolutely fucking great
very nice...! just one suggestion
Liked the story a lot...was really hot! One suggestion though, from a technical perspective. You seem to have a thing where certain phrases "repeat" throughout. For instance, early on, one phrase was "he was resigned to his fate". You say that several times at different points. There were a few other phrases that repeated in similar fashion. Just be mindful of that.
But, overall, great job!
one of the best
please write more!
I have read something simular.... But this was so much better than that one
Well done.
Look forward to the next.
Too Good to be True !
Fun read though . That husband is such a puppet ! Well we get the love & the government we deserve . Hope his 18 yr old trophy puppet mistress treats him sweet for awhile. Thx to author for reality break .
great job
i wish john was my husband
Great story!
One of your best efforts, seth, I really loved it! Keep up with the fantastic story-telling; you get better and better!
Great Story
This was a great story. The pacing and atmosphere had you feeling like you were experiencing life as John. Even guys who just let life happen to them deserve to have one or two fantasies come true. Unlike a previous commenter I think one of the best parts was the believability. Once you accept that this is the one in X million guy whose babysitter actually falls for him, each of the characters behaves in a realistic and human way, even to the point of me wanting to warn John about that dominating streak in his new lover.
Great job, sethp.
great story, too bad that it didn't get to titfuck the busty baby sitter; maybe next time
great story
i hope there is a part 2 and the sister joins in
Good Story
I liked your story very much. You could have had Rachel explain herself to John a bit more (IE: emotions, motivation, etc) and the ending felt very rushed. Still a very, very good story.
If It were that simple
Great story. Needs more sex
good stuff
Love the focus on sexual stuff beyond penetration. Always too much of that on this site. A fun and sexy - if a little simplistic - story.
Happy Endings.
As much as I love a nasty fuck story sometimes you need a happy ending... I thought your story was perfect.. . I loved it.
One of the best so far
Amazing story, just beautifull
Good story, but...
Really enjoyed the story, but the last paragraph was a rushed, overly simplistic ending. Very good otherwise.
i expected
to find out that the wife was not there becasue she was fucking her lover. hot story - prefer not to have bubby a cheating piece of shit, but it was still hot as wife did not care. i agree the ending was a bit rushed - but you get a 5 anyway.
Missing something
It really was a great story, I agree with others that the ending seemed a little short and rushed.
My biggest complaint though was with huge tits like hers, how could you not include at -least- one hot tit fuck session?! I kept hoping it would come up but it never did.
the thing that this story wants
the most imprtant thing that they forgot to put was the video.
Love the big tits on small frame
And kick that old cold dead bitch out and fuck that young tight warm pussy, YEAH BABY,right fuckin on,ya need a nother story to continue. John knocking up that young big jugged tight pussy little girl,blowing his baby batter so far into her tight snug puss she gets knocked and produces so much milk for John and the new baby
4 stars!!
I liked it! Luvely :))
WOW .....
What a great fantasy! Loved this story and will dream of my own Rachel. Although my kids are a little old for a babysitter maybe I will substitute housekeeper for babysitter for my phase of life! 😊
liked it
May be this short sweet story is an eye opener for me. Time will tell.
Great build up
I really enjoyed this story. I liked how you built up to the sex, and there was more than just a page or two. My only complaint was the ending seemed a little rushed. Other than that I loved it!
hahah!
The last line ! Lol
Bored?
Seems like you got bored at the end and tired of writing... "John and his Busty little baby sitter made babies and lived happily ever after."
I like it--
all the talk about breasts, etc.,
I'm not being sexist--just that having breast-fed (there! that'll turn any guy off!)--
I have reactions to reading about breasts reacting--I've been programed by my (former) baby (see? not "hot" stuff--haha--but true)--
I mean that with breast-feeding for at least a year, one's breasts just react to sounds, smells, all kinds of things--
and they remember
("large" could, for example, make one's small breasts feel--curiously--something)
good story
nothing like a good romantic story-nice people-nice guys finish first-well written thanks
Great stuff
That story was the great works of any writer. The entire story was a perfect read and I loved it. 5 * easily.
Wonderful feeling
You certainly had all the sexy action written so well - each scene was so well done!
Any chance of a sequel? This was pure pleasure! Maybe Wendy could be involved. lol
Thank you
Story of my life
Just wondering when somebody introduced you to my ex-wife lol. The only difference is no 18-yo babysitter and I kept the house.
Amazing!
This needs a sequel. Busty Babysitter: Townhouse Dreams!
A Pleasure To Read
The story was erotic with shades of maturity, finesse, and professionalism entwined into a beautiful story. This is so realistic that one might firmly believe that this is just a reproduction of some personal events. I don't know the author but I would like to read several sequels or other chapters. What interests me would be what happens when the wife realizes that the babysitter is her replacement? Do the babysitter's parents have a volcanic uproar when they find out? What feelings are expressed when the ex-wife drops the children off and smells the home filled with laughter, aromas of baking and roast, and happiness? I liked this story - my favorite.
Thanks Everyone!
Thanks for all the positive Feedback, everyone! I really appreciate it.
I was wondering if I could ask a favor. Could everyone who really likes this story try the girl with the Silver Trombone and The Pastor's Halloween Confusion? And comment either there or lit feedback to me. I want to know if this one is that much better than the other two, or if you guys haven't read those two because they have bad titles. lol
Thanks!
Sethp
Great story!
Very good story, well thought-out, very good writing!
Albeit, you might need to look for another editor, to do your final proofing, whom doesn't use spell check, because there were lots of single words in sentences, not there, that should've been! Some words with only one or two letters and the rest of the word not there, (all were simply spell check, trying to substitute a word you spelled correctly, for another you didn't write in, or simply typo's on your part, spell check didn't catch).
I found some double wording, right together in one sentence. It's often best and easiest for me to turn off the spell check "auto-word replacement" feature and just let the spell check underline the major errors. Then go back through, very carefully on my own and make sure spell check didn't foul me up worse, or didn't catch words with numbers in them, or simply my own typo's.
You just cannot trust spell and grammar check, to do final manuscript editing! It won't catch all the errors, but will make a fool of you, real fast, if you don't go back and triple check your writing! A very slow and thorough read through, after doing spell and grammar check, is the only way I know, to accurately proof your final copy, before posting it!
Still, even with the few typos or double wording errors, this was such an excellent story and so well written! I am so impressed! Thoroughly enjoyed reading it! :)
I loved the way the erotic sexual parts, built so slowly and naturally, so true to life real; along with the back story and the way John realized finally, as he fell in love with young Rachel; that his and Kathy's marriage had been toast for some years already.
Kathy, though she likely didn't realize it, had already left the marriage and their home, a long time before she left, without telling John goodbye, to tend to her sister. She obviously didn't care a bit about John, nor their wonderful young children! This woman has some deep, deep problems and the divorce, forcing her to live alone for awhile, might just help her see what a cold fish, so frigid, she truly has been and is!
The author of this story, is such a good story telling writer, taking plenty of time, that: I was reading as fast as I could, waiting for that first time, John & Rachel made love, or finally got their ashes hauled! Man, what a bunch of good love scenes that you've written into this story, as well!
I agree with others here, maybe you should seriously think about writing more chapters of this story!
Did John and Rachel stay together the rest of their lives, happy to be with each other? I sure hope they did! But, unless you write a few more new chapters to this story, we're never going to really know all the details of them living "happily ever after" together in true love, or why they did, are we?
Maybe they talk, snuggled-up together in love some night, right after their marriage and John asks Rachel, how its is, a beautiful young woman her age, could fall in love with a man his age? He's got to be wondering! Maybe write some further good back-story about Rachel, into this chapter?
How about another chapter devoted to Kathy and her back story of why she just went frigid on John all those years ago and was pushing him away, until the divorce? Was it early menopause, cancer she didn't know she had yet, or was she having an affair of multi-year duration, behind Johns back, or did she just somehow shut-down in depression, or whatever? Why did she end-up hating John so, or treating him hatefully, when he really didn't have that mistreatment coming?
Surely John isn't the only "heavy" for cheating on his wife, who had shut him out and pushed him away sexually, and most every other way; treated him with disdain and disgust, disrespect for so many years, even though John remained devoted to her, almost until the end of their marriage!
WHY would Kathy not want to touch her husband sexually, any longer?
At least, there are some real deep questions you could answer for us all, with a few more well written chapters! :)
What does Kathy end-up doing with her life? Does she just slowly turn into a real Ice Queen/Ice-burg and slowly melt-away in the sea?
Lots of unanswered questions, throughout all you've written in this excellent story! Dozens of great plot twists and fun or interesting Rabbit Trails you could write into this story, if you have a mind to do so! That would be great fun for all us readers! :)
I think the thing I liked about this story most of all, is: its true-to-life...believability!
I've actually seen this very thing, or something very similar, happen in several married couples lives, I've known!
This was simply a very good, well written story and I enjoyed it a lot!
Thank you so much! :)
Need more!
You should give us a part 2, Show us what their life becomes.
Does he...
,,,cheat on the babysitter with the new babysitter?
series
great story I have read it at least 5 times. when are you going to do a follow up that tells what her parents think and about the wife who was she sleeping with and the life and love of john and Rachel after they moved into town home. MORE PLEASE
AMEN! AWESOME STORYLINE!!!
AMEN! to what Anonymous wrote on 03/04/18!!! If you want an editor for your future chapter of this story, you can contact me at cocorox1818 at yahoo dot com. Let's talk!
almost very good
Excellent except for the very last sentence. Really stupid. Next time allow the reader's mind to interpret the future.
Sweet story
I loved it. How awesome is falling in love AND great sex. As good as it gets.
great story
Rachel, John and the kids. Looks like Johns sister is on there side. The wife a cold fish I bet has been having a affair that's why she is such a bitch/
When do I get to read the follow up story.
Good premise incompletely executed
Rachel has obviously selected her man and will do whatever it takes to land him. I'd like to have seen more of her eagerly using him and her encouraging him to do so. I'd also like to see an epilogue where Kathy and John end up in divorce court and the judge proceeds to take Kathy to the cleaners following depositions from Wendy, Rachel's mother, and a couple of the neighbors.
great story
one of my favorites. when do we get to read the sequel. I feel sure that Kathy has been having an affair with one of her high brow friends either man or woman or both.
bring us up to date on John and Rachel and the kids/ it would be nice to find out why his ex wife to be turned into a cold fish towards him. if you have written one what is it called if not clue us in as to when it will be ready.
RON TEXAS cowboyridecc@yahoo.com
BEAUTIFFUL
THE STORY IS GOOD AS IT IS ABOUT MAKING RIGHT CHOICES AND NOT BEING A COARD
Write a damn sequel already
Please
repetition
Good story but do you have to repeat the size of her tits every time you mention them, it is boring we know how big they are, you told us in the beginning, that's enough.
Fantastic
Fantastic story and it serves the bitch right. lol You don't give it out, it will be found elsewhere.
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