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I love it, although not a fan of the writing style used, in this instance it is effective.
Not bad
Interesting style used here
THE TASTE BEING SO NEAR BUT SO FAR AWAY.
love this very hot very erotic story. now wanting more.
as you get to be taken home no doubt to sample the thing she and you want .
Masterful. Sweating bullets here. You've obviously done this dance (in one setting or another) more than once.
Whew!!
Wow,if it truly was like that I think I would be at the first gentleman's club I could find! That was so sexy!
Wow
That was intense!
You read my mind...
I loved this. Gave a voice to my own fantasy. Great job!
Second person is always so distracting. :(
Very erotic
Well done. I love the detail and how you build the tension between you and her while at the same time subtley teaching us how its done. This is written by someone who's either been there or has taken the time to truly learn and unerstand how sexual interaction works. You're also a reasonably good writer. A bit more editing and refining would make this a 5 star effort. A couple of phrases are repeated and word choices need to be reconsidered. ie. "cunt" seems a bit crude and out of place in a story with this level of sensitivity. I hope we'll be seeing more of your work here.
gorgeous writing
loved the intensity ... love the "you-are-there" tone .... conveyed the best about sex as the eternal dance, the give-and-take... the teasing, and ending with the most erotic: a heartfelt kiss and embrace. mmmmmmm... hot story!
Enjoyable, but I wondered why it's in the erotic coupling section - shouldn't it be in the lesbian?
Still very hott :-)
Lovely, beautiful and so wondefully hot. Such an erotic dance. Thank you.
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