All Comments on 'Black Girl Power'

I absolutely loved this story...the premise of a young black woman dominating a powerful white business woman is so hot. I think this story has so much potential for further chapters...I hope you will continue.

Leaving Monica bewildered on her knees and stunned after Beth slapped her is a great beginning.

The feeling of her loss of power as she couldn't respond because "her pussy had taken over as she was too wet and excited" was very hot.

Kissing her hand in submission leads us to believe that Beth is just beginning her humiliation and domination over her new boss.

I hope you will continue with further chapters and expand on Beth's mental and sexual domination over the white female office and her white female boss especially.

I would suggest that you look at the length of your sentences...some are very, very, very long.

Perhaps you might break the long sentences up so they are more coherent. The sentences are just too long and difficult to follow. Don't be afraid to break them up with periods instead of commas.

You also might use a "spell checker" program or contact one of the many editors available on here to proof your story for spelling and punctualization marks.

All in all...thanks for the submission...I thoroughly enjoyed it and hope you proceed with many more chapters.

Michael

its instead of it's;

your instead of you're;

embareced instead of embarrassed; there instead of their; weather instead of whether. These are just a few of the mistakes you made when choosing your words. You also committed several grammatical errors. This story was acceptable, but nothing remarkable.

Thank you, you really did encourage me to write more.

This is my first time writing a story from my own imagination, I do apologize about the spelling and the grammar mistake, but I didn't have enough time to edit the story because I have exams at university and I was kinda busy studying. I still have one on Thursday which I am studying for at the moment.

I'll have a break from exams for 2 weeks after my Thursday exam, hopefully I will be able to write more and since this was my first time, expect the next chapter to be much better !

Thank you for you're comments !