All Comments on 'Yes Sir!'

What the fuck are nibbles ??

A nice first effort! IMHO, you might have moved forward, perhaps, a bit slower in developing the action, especially, since he and she had been lusting for one another for quite some time <smile>. In this manner you could expand upon their affection for one another, as well as their virtually all-consuming lust. Frankly, I think this has the chance to develop into a lovely April- August romance with several chapters. I sincerely wish to thank you for sharing your writing with us and would encourage you to pursue this talent of yours.

Regards,

-Wylde

ps

I am certain that I would greatly enjoy nippling on those lovely and passionately distended nibbles. ::eg::

Is obviously not a strength. And I guess you have a computer from the 1980s because you do not have a spell checker.

Ok first off sorry about the spelling and no my computer isn't old as dirt but I think my keyboard is which definitely makes it hard to spell!! Anywho I'll get a freakn editor okay! Geez. Those of you who gave positive feed back, thank you so much it really made me feel better! And I know the story could've had much more detail but I was skeptical people would get bored. It was my first story and I just wanted readers to accept me as a writer. Is that so bad? When I first wrote it it was very lengthy but I'll be sure part two has more detail! thanks.

Very nice, hopefully a sequel to follow.

I think all of u are pathetic for even reading shit like this!!! If u really think ur good enough to critic other people's writing then u really need to get sOme self help like idk maybe therapy!!!!!!!!

Very good first submission! You definitely have talent for creating characters. Thank you!

I've never wrote a story myself but i've read plenty on this site. I find your story to be the typical story on this site (kinda fast paste and straight to the banging). I think its good for most readers but i prefer longer stories with greater character development and emotion with a plot line that only has the hot sex scenes as a secondary issue. But dont get discouraged. I stayed hard while reading your story and gave myself a few squeezes and stokes. I appreciated your efforts and i hope you continue to become a great well known writer on this site.

awesome first story . and getting right to the point of having what you needed being ricky hard cock . awsome writing more of the same please

Very quick without much build-up...but it has promise. I'd flesh out the scenes more and use spellcheck but otherwise it was a good first sumission.

You show definite potential as a story teller. The spelling and grammar can be handed off to someone else. Telling stories is a lot tougher than editing them.

However, Riley may want to wear a condom for a little while. It takes birth control pills a month to kick in. So, unless he wants to be a middle-age daddy with a teenage family friend for the mommy, he needs to use that condom while she is in town.

I loved this story and neighbour one too, please write part 2's :)

Good story but take some time to proofread. It felt like you were being rushed in writing this but otherwise the story is hot.

I came so hard I have had this fantasy about my dads friend for a long time