by JukeboxEMCSA
You should continue this story. Maybe about what it is like to be his slave in his house.
Great story & very unique! Would love to see this story continued!
Can always tell a good writer...when you can get into the characters quickly and you don't want the story to end...I wanted to read more..
Dear Author,
This is the second of your stories that I've read. You are good. Minimal description but with a world I quickly comprehended with characters I understood. Telepaths exist but they aren't common in this world it seems. I usually don't care for loss of freewill type stories, unless it's revenge, which is quite apparently your bread and butter. I enjoyed the telepathic link/feedback to up the pleasure of the characters. Action adventure might not be you 'thing' but I too would like to see a sequel to this story. He does free her. You discover he is more of a curmudgeon, the unlikely 'hero'. Maybe a sub/conscious reason he goes to brothels and specifically asks if the women are here of her own free will, is his wife or daughter or mother had been taken? He doesn't actively search as if on a crusade but when he finds things amiss he doesn't just standby either. I think he will based on what you wrote. Because he's done it before "sex for compensation" and the whole "when I got bored with them I let them go" thing he mentioned.
In the end, just like Pandora's box, a;; we really have to sustain is hope. you can even make the argument that love is hope shared.
Very interesting. The complexities of a mind control setting are on display here in a way I've seldom encountered. I also note this; if he's mind-linking with her through many occasions, could the girl end up coming away with her own telepathic power? That... could have Consequences with a capital C.