by Greenly
I agree with previous comments a little short but can't wait for more...
Hope you continue, this has great potential. I really enjoyed it. DW
It would be so much better if it were longer and you posted and update daily :)))
Seriously, I love the story and can't wait for the update...PLEASE make it soon!
I enjoyed reading this but I was left hanging. Please continue to add to the story. I am curious about this new alpha and his mate. Looking forward to more details as the story unfolds.
Well done It was a pleasure for once to read an author who apparently owns a dictionary as well as a spell checker and knows how to use them. You will come under pressure to write longer chapters and submit everyone of them yesterday. Ignore them work at your pace a good story is worth the anticipation I would far rather eat a small well prepared morsel than a massive pile of rubbish. The content is enticing and hopefully will continue to maintain this early promise.
to a good story. It drew me in.Congratulations on a well written start.
Immediately captured my attention. A fantastic opening to what I hope will be a novel.
A very well deserved congrats on your first story. It did everything a first chapter is supposed to. I know alittle about the girl, alittle about the Alpha, and that they are mates. But nothing is ever that simple is it? You left me wanting to know more and that is why I will watching for chapter 2.
So I once again say congrats and remind you that this is "your story" and you get to do w/it what and how you want. And by the way, you are now a published author!!!!!
This is the start of an awesome story. I can't wait to read the next chapter but no rush. Rather wait for a well wriiten chapter then read a quick rushed chapter.
the alpha/mate storyline is predictable and boring, since this is only the first chapter i hope you endeavour to bring something new to the tired genre.
You have me hooked. Great start! Just a few editing errors, but nothing outrageous. Can't wait to read more. :)
And I really like how this one started! Can't wait for the next chapter
It is too short. Normally I do not read werewolf stories, but, but, but this one grabbed me immediately. Can not wait for more. Please make'em longer.
I know some people get tired of them, but I happen to love them...and I love the start of yours. Please keep it up!!!!! Oh and Hurry!!!!
Please! Finish off this series !!!! I would love you dearly! ヽ(;▽;)ノ
Also, I love how your grammar is correct! I'm glad you had time to edit your work! I appreciate it! By the way ... Please write more! It's a excellent story you have!
You've got my attention!!! I love these types of stories, and you have talent. Although, I strongly suggest you find an editor or a proofreader. I really hope you plan to continue the story though!!!
You are on the right track. Keep developing your characters and definately think about the length of your next submission. You have good scope to work with so by all means allow your creative lines to flow.
Definitely continue with it. I want to know more about your protagonists. Seems like their lives haven't been easy.
I think you edited it pretty well. While some little errors might slip through, there was nothing glaring or distracting.
Good job and thanks for writing.
I am betting you are female. No gender indicated, but the writing style feels very intuitive and insightful to me. There were minor glitches in the wording, but all in all; you are off to telling a very intriguing tale. I eagerly await what you do with this thieving siren and the gorgeous mark she ripped off. He feels like a delicious bundle of tightly wound sensuality in need of serious unwinding by girlfriend. Baby, don't make us wait too long.
Thank you
This is a great piece of writing, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and I hope that you continue the story.
Well done :)
really nice, i hope you continue writing because i would truely love to read where this story goes.
Please post the next Chapter and please make it longer? It was to short, I didnt want it to end. Loved it !
i love it! you should continue with the story! and as far as i am concerned, you did a pretty good job editing it on your own.
I like the beginning of this story. I like how you portray him as this man whose interest has not been stirred in ages. Is she human? If so, why is she perched on a roof like spider man? lol But seriously, I can't believe he wouldn't chase after her. How could he hope to find her again, especially when all the scents of the street fair would have to interfere with tracking her! Hope to see you post the next chapter soon!
You are doing a great job, keep them coming. Only thing I can say is don't make us wait months for the next chapter.
Amazing intro !
I only wish this chapter could have been longer.
You have my attention. hehe
"...her scent floated up to his nose and interrogated his senses..." Since "interrogated" is the wrong word, which word did you mean to use?
It was not the wrong word. I liked it. Her scent questioned him, its very modern.
wilie...could it be infiltrated? lol
put your vote in!
Ok, I really think it was a great start. I didn't expect much when I saw how short it was but I have to say you put a lot of details in and even began to develop the characters. A great first try. Look forward to the rest.
I'm reminded of a line from an old Tom Lehrer song: "In that moment of truth, I suddenly knew... / That someone had stolen my wallet!"
Still, a fun and original premise, and I think I'll read the rest of the story (5 chapters as I write this). On a more critical note, you definitely need an editor. Your technical skills need work and your prose is a bit awkward. Not at all bad for a first attempt, though! :)
Holy...wow. Just wow. I'm enjoying already, and it has barely started. Bro/Sis, you got talent.
Amazing especially since this is ur story. Can't wait to read more
This is a great start to a story, very unique. I can't wait to read the next installment in this story.
Another NO ENDING story,so unless you just want to waste time reading,,,dont bother....a great story,,,what there is of it..such a shame..
I remember reading this story the first time around, but I can't remember how far I got. Am gonna enjoy reading up to Ch5 and then hope it gets updated again!!! Soon!
Just saw a posting today under NonHuman for chapter 7. I don't know how I missed this story, but it seemed interesting, so I thought I'd give it a go. I'm glad that I did. So now I'm going to carry on and read all the other chapters, and then add it to my favourites list. :)
A nice slow start, with a brush of who we are dealing with. Nice.
I have read similar story in wattpad... r u d same writer
@ mystical penguin; carefull with the copying from wattpad claim, since this story is well written and the characters are adults. The wattpad werewolf "formula" is a story written by a teen girl who can't write or spell and has high school characters as alphas and lunas.
This story was briefly on wattpad but it was removed because it had been plagiarized. I was the person who discovered it and contacted Greenly. This is the original version.
This is a delightful tale and have read it multiple times...... the true tragedy is that it is UNFINISHED. The author did a most exquisite job.
The story is fine- so long as we ignore all the side plot and chapter 8, and just focus on the pickpocketer and the wolf.