Hey Baby, it was very nice and I am sure you can do much more than this. It was really nice story with good erotic sensations. I would expecting much more erotic incest and sister with sister and mother with daughter from you.... for this story, don't stop writing and just don't make sex in same bed at same time. Make this story more with explanations and more timing... Baby, mmmmuuuaaahhh from me...
I'm not scoring this one till you finish it . You have an eye for detail. That much I will allow.
by
Anonymous12/01/11
Most excellent
This makes me wish I had lived this story...
by
Anonymous12/01/11
yummy yummy
O me where is the rest of the story.
by
Anonymous12/01/11
Wow!
Not one word of dialogue! How boring!
by
Anonymous12/01/11
of course being in bed with his mother feels natural!
This is a fine first submission! It's well on the way to becoming a story of hot motherfucking. The boy is real hard and his mother knows it! His big stiff prick is right against his mom's wet cunt, where every boy'd love to feel his young prick. Momma'd better watch out---her son's got a pair of loaded balls he's gonna want to unload up where it'll do her the most good: right up her motherly twat!
not exactly the way it happened with mom and i ,but it did happen.and it was just incredible.there is no way to explain how wonderful it is to have sex with your mother.and once you start it is never just the one time.Jerry
by
Anonymous12/09/11
Well written
A very good start and takes a slow pitch. The rest will come; look forward to it.
by
Anonymous01/06/12
literary criticism? - wrong place!
Not one word of dialog? We don't come here for dialog, Brainiac!
Keep it up - this is good so far, looking forward to more.
by
Anonymous01/07/12
Excellent!
A brilliant start to what I expect will be a classic.
A brilliant start to what I expect will be a classic.
I signed up because of this story.
by
Anonymous09/15/13
Re; sleeping with mom
great story, the same thing happened to me when I was a teen, except irt was my step mom, we were traveling across the country, and had to get a motel, same bed and almost same thing happen to me, then at three o'clock in the morning I was putting my rod deep in her, from that point on I have fucked her every chance we get, she is now 80 years old still likes it...
English
Cant wait for more
wow cant believe its your first submission. Well written and just about to get hot mmmmmm
please continue, and hurry, but don't rush
Dont add more to this story
Its a great story and leaves lot to the imagination at the end. I think you have judged it to perfection.
mmuuuaaahhh
Hey Baby, it was very nice and I am sure you can do much more than this. It was really nice story with good erotic sensations. I would expecting much more erotic incest and sister with sister and mother with daughter from you.... for this story, don't stop writing and just don't make sex in same bed at same time. Make this story more with explanations and more timing... Baby, mmmmuuuaaahhh from me...
Wow
I cant believe this is your first story. You are going to have a great fan base quickly.
Too Short
Would have given you a five if the story were longer.
This might be a good story
But there's not enough written to really make any kind of assessment of what is going on
Quality but no quantity !
I'm not scoring this one till you finish it . You have an eye for detail. That much I will allow.
Most excellent
This makes me wish I had lived this story...
yummy yummy
O me where is the rest of the story.
Wow!
Not one word of dialogue! How boring!
of course being in bed with his mother feels natural!
This is a fine first submission! It's well on the way to becoming a story of hot motherfucking. The boy is real hard and his mother knows it! His big stiff prick is right against his mom's wet cunt, where every boy'd love to feel his young prick. Momma'd better watch out---her son's got a pair of loaded balls he's gonna want to unload up where it'll do her the most good: right up her motherly twat!
What Rich said.
I'll give you a score when you give me a story.
SLEEPING WITH MOM
not exactly the way it happened with mom and i ,but it did happen.and it was just incredible.there is no way to explain how wonderful it is to have sex with your mother.and once you start it is never just the one time.Jerry
Well written
A very good start and takes a slow pitch. The rest will come; look forward to it.
literary criticism? - wrong place!
Not one word of dialog? We don't come here for dialog, Brainiac!
Keep it up - this is good so far, looking forward to more.
Excellent!
A brilliant start to what I expect will be a classic.
Excellent!
A brilliant start to what I expect will be a classic.
I signed up because of this story.
Re; sleeping with mom
great story, the same thing happened to me when I was a teen, except irt was my step mom, we were traveling across the country, and had to get a motel, same bed and almost same thing happen to me, then at three o'clock in the morning I was putting my rod deep in her, from that point on I have fucked her every chance we get, she is now 80 years old still likes it...
nice mom
reminds me of how i used to always jump in mom's bed after dad left to taste her hairy cream pies and make love to her properly
Incomplete
No rating for a fraction of a story.
More?
Only one page? I was excited to see more...
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