Mmm a lot more sex than the first part of this story. Alright, I missed a few critiques on the comment I posted on that first part: some parts were a bit choppy and short- a bit more fluity could be even better. Now this goes for both parts: love the title- witty(: okay, onto part two. This time, you got a bit sloppy. Although I didn't see many grammatical errors (missing comma somewhere), I did find several spelling ones, like "dinner" (instead of "diner"), "sight" (instead of "site"), and "word" (I'm sure just a typo or stupid mistake, b/c you put "work" instead. Heh). And there were some parts when the repititiveness annoyed me (ex. "nipped and sucked" used twice in 2 consecutive sentences!
English
MORE!
please
More soon?
I have been anxiously awaiting more of your amazing story! I can't wait to continue reading!
Still very nice (;
Mmm a lot more sex than the first part of this story. Alright, I missed a few critiques on the comment I posted on that first part: some parts were a bit choppy and short- a bit more fluity could be even better. Now this goes for both parts: love the title- witty(: okay, onto part two. This time, you got a bit sloppy. Although I didn't see many grammatical errors (missing comma somewhere), I did find several spelling ones, like "dinner" (instead of "diner"), "sight" (instead of "site"), and "word" (I'm sure just a typo or stupid mistake, b/c you put "work" instead. Heh). And there were some parts when the repititiveness annoyed me (ex. "nipped and sucked" used twice in 2 consecutive sentences!
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