Cruise Tickets

A very good story

with only one major error;

"He wanted kids and we tried. After a couple of years I went to a specialist and she told me I could have kids but it would be harder due to my physical conditions, a very low sperm count. I even took some drugs to help but no results. Ray started to become irritated with me but there wasn't much I could do.

Women do not have sperm counts, only men do. Other wise it was a very good story.

A SMART PERSON GET CAUGHT UP WITH HER WORK

testing the wares, she got hooked, and ended up nary a bone, TK U MLJ LV NV

No new ground broken in this story ( but that's just fine).

The previous day's submissions were envelope-pushers. Those authors used their skill to push the limits which can be stressful reading. Anyway this story stuck to a tried & true formula with an uplifting ending after some novel trials & tribulations with those Ladyboys.

Uh that's a new one. It was a fine read as the year winds down. Thanks DG. Happy endings are a stress buster' par excellant'

Good Read.

Thanks for sharing.

female impersonator?

conjured up some un-sexy images, can't give you my normal 5 stars, thx 4 writing tho

Good

I liked it. A pleasant read but I am afraid not a 5 from me this time. I do appreciate your works. I don't know if you have ever done it on the beach or in the ocean but the sand can be a real problem. LOL Cheers and thanks. Jim

I liked it !!!!

Kinky storyline, and unusual, with the cross dressers fucking his wife. That would have been a real shocker for any husband to see.

And I love happy endings.

Although I thought it was a bit premature for him to be thinking about getting a vasectomy, she may want a couple more children before they hang it up.

Anyway, it was a very good and enjoyable read, thanks.

Yawn

Same old, same old. The female impersonator angle was mildly original, but nothing really special. Didn't get to know the wife enough, or understand her motivation. Nothing really gripped me about the story. Just kind of a typical wife cheats, gets caught, husband moves on with his life story without any pizzaz. Decently written, I guess. But, I feel like I wasted my time. A lot of your other stuff is better.

Another Good Contribution

I was going to recommend extracting the phrase, " a low sperm count" to clean it up but that is no major problem. Her ex got what he deserved by not extracting himself from one situation before trying a new one...
In these dark times there is nothing like an uplifting story to start the day! Thanks!

Great Story

Another great D G story from one of the best authors on this site.

Not as good

as most of your stories. Why would the children stay with the mother? They were over 18 and knew she was a slut. I would think both children would make her life miserable. I know I would. Why do writers always say, "your mother loves you"? That's bull. If she did, she wouldn't have done what she did. The motivation to go to the night club with the new woman eludes me, no matter what you used as an excuse. I've got to give it a three, this time. Sorry.

Unbelievable

Find it rather difficult to accept that a man who had just about to be divorce is starting another affair and got married within the year. Especially that he was being cheated by his wife.
He was so in love with his wife and being betrayed does not seem to have affect him at ll. Normally there would be pain and hurt before getting hitched up again. Not normal situation.

Original

Nice job, but sadly there were a lot of problems with the editing. Exciding, instead of exciting, and "Was is it Jay?" was another.
There are a number more, just an FYI.
A good story, original, and plausible. The scene when Jay confronts Charlie and Linda was great!

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!

Beth didn't have a very low sperm count without reason. Obviously, the author AND his editor failed Biology 101. That's what editors are for, to catch stupid mistakes.

This drivel hardly rated a 2.

DG, you have done better than this, but not recently.

DG.....

You could have done better. Really? She had a low sperm count? How did you miss that? That threw me off but I continued reading because of your other good stories. This one was on the weak side of writing/editing and imagination. I also find it odd that the husband didn't get charged with a crime in the motel incident. That was at least unlawful imprisonment as well as a few sexual crimes. Holding a knife on someone to forcefully have sex is in the realm of rape.
Yes I know....they are just stories to entertain us. So, I thank you for that.

she told me I could have kids but it would be harder due to my physical conditions, a very low sperm count.

After pausing and thinking for a second I realized what you meant. The sentence is not a deal killer, just slightly awkward. Had you written it this way no would have had issues; "she told me I could have kids but it would be harder due to my physical conditions, HIS very low sperm count." Hindsight is 20/20. The complaint is a bit on the "nitpicky" side in my opinion.
Overall it was a good story.
Keep writing and I wiil keep reading.

Emotionless

This story was too clinical and emotionless.

very enjoyable

Very enjoyable, one thing in all your stories no matter how old the kids are your view is to never tell them the truth about what happened and why you are divorcing as if you are protecting them, this is like something out of the decade of the 50's kids know and should know for the same reason protection from an idiot parent.

Nice

I was going to talk about the "low sperm count", but see others are already beating you up over it, LOL. I will echo another comment that your stories read like a narrative of someone else s troubles. Not really enough emotion to draw the reader into the story. That said, I never fail to read one of your stories when you post.

Nice.

Nice work. Uncommon story line. And absolutely lovely.

Excellent

Per usual. The female impersonator aspect was a different and creative twist. I cracked up over the 'limp' comments. Why would she even consider... Oyyy! The way the story played out, I can definitely see a story from Linda's POV. I hope you consider it. Hiim jumping from Linda to Beth quick was fine for me. He knew what he wanted, and went for it. Gotta love it! Well done.
Thank you!

I always look for your stories DG. I know your story will be interesting and readable.

Only a few others are as consistent as you and I appreciate your work.

Great story

I enjoyed the story as I usually enjoy your stories. Look forward to reading more.

I liked it!

For some odd reason I saw Charli being a transvestite coming. Just my cynical nature I guess. The other thought that hit me as he followed her to the motel was that she was hookin with the other ladies of the evening......gowns. Loved the story!

loved it

love a happy ending, a little to soon after his breakup. but stranger things happen.

i enjoy reading your stories. i look forward to your new ones.

Less a tried and tested formula and more an inventory of tired and done to death LW cliches.

Ok sorry, transvestites, that's a new one. 3*

Good story.

The Transvestite was certainly a new angle, but as always if the good guy wins and the bad guy loses then it's a good story. Thanks DG.

^__^

Good work! Thanks! ^__^

Nice ...5 star

Nice happy ending DG... But what of our errant housewife? Why did she think he had done wrong? What became of her? Inquiring minds want to know!

Some of your critics just piss me off! I loved it.

Any of the mistakes that it contained were just too small to detract from it in any significant way. I would certainly hate to be on any vessel where "The Navigator" was responsible for the navigation. If his calculations are as faulty as his perceptions, with regard to the quality of a story, I doubt that the course would ever be correctly plotted.

DG, thank you for the effort you put into your tales. Any time I see your name I know I can rely on the story being a good one.

Good ideas, but...

Most of the tension and emotions that a man will realise when he catches his wife cheating came in short paragraphs and thus did not reach the reader. You have a tendency to telegram-style mostly when those hard feelings should be described. Obviuously, there was another "phase" before when his daughter had doubts about her mother. Linda cheated before and probably did it many times. The husband did not want to get into that any deeper, but we - the readers - got curious. Why didn't you write a chapter with Linda's POV? Why didn't you give us some insight on her reasoning and feelings? Instead, you spend more than a whole page on Jay's new relationship, which would have qualified better for the "Romance" section.
I have to admit that I expected more about the cheating wife than about the husband getting over her.
4*

I think it's wonderful...

...that, after a fairly dry spell of DG's stories, all of a sudden we have had several in succession. Much appreciated sir.
I have liked them all, but this one more than the last couple - an original plot and a happy ending. Way to go.
Thanks

good story

i enjoyed your story very much thank you for posting it

Kind of cute, too cute?

I agree with the observation that you blew right by the angst of his learning his wife was cheating. However, he did have a new relationship brewing. I have been in a similar situation and that new relationship does change your perspective. But you also seemed eager to change perspective to the new relationship ASAP. You even avoided most of Linda's suffering, almost dropping her out of the story. Since the excitement in these stories is over the cheating the story seems pretty calm, not what most LW readers are expecting.

The new relationship is almost too sweet. They go on a wonderful cruise and get married. They make love all over the place. She manages to get pregnant when she didn't think she could (I agree you blew the original explanation, why would SHE take medication for her EX's low sperm count?). They have two sets of eager Grandparents. Life is just perfect. I think I just developed a cavity.

There were a bunch of sloppy grammar errors and that is disappointing. You are too experienced an author to be given a pass on this.

Thanks I needed that. A good read story.

DGH,

Great writing as we've expected from you. Thanks for sharing on Lit.


x

Why not call this the six-month story? It makes more sense than Cruise Tickets.

If there are formulas for a Loving Wives story, DG Hear had been in the lead in defining them; and this story is an excellent case in point.

To begin with, as soon as we were introduced to Beth at the bar I knew she and Jay would end up together. Though suffering from an impending divorce Jay still makes time to flirt with Beth. He notes how pretty she is in a girl-next-door kind of way. Who did not see this coming?

In this story things happen either at lightning speed or they take… six months. For example, Jay suspects his wife is hiding something based upon her change in attitude over the period of six months. Wasn’t six months the length of time that elapsed before Ray asked Beth to marry him? And wasn’t six months the same amount of time that Jay married Linda after first going out with her? Jay even gets a lease for six months at a time. And Beth informs Jay that she is pregnant with twins six months before their due date.

Not every major event happens after a six month period. Beth was married to Ray for six years and Jay had a sixty-day wait for his divorce to become final. These are two exceptions.

However, if it doesn’t take six months then it happens almost immediately. Jay falls in lust/infatuation with Beth almost from the moment they meet. And Beth divorces Ray and falls in love with Jay almost as quickly. The author has never heard of the concept of a transition, a segue.

After almost twenty-years of marriage Jay turns from his wife after her betrayal and immediately focuses on Beth. Another concept the author needs to learn is ‘rebound’. Of course none of the other interested parties to his divorce: Jay’s children, Jay’s parents, even Beth’s sister think that this relationship might be happening too fast.

And not content that Linda is a one-time cheater, Jay then tells Beth that Linda was a serial cheater, even though there is absolutely no evidence that Linda did anything prior with that she-devil Lisa. That is unless we are to believe that some change in body language constitutes evidence.

One question does bother me though, and this is for the lawyers reading these comments. Did Beth have a case for rape against Jay when she was anally penetrated against her will?

Fantastic Story !

DG you have had me glued to the story from word one. Man you are the best! Thanks for sharing.

Lots of potential, but it failed...epically.

There is alot wrong with this story. He files for divorce and already is on the prowl? Seriously? He just discovered the love of his life was cheating on him and he's already on the hunt for new pussy.

The whole bartender scene...how the fuck many people know the name of "their bartender."? Most bartenders are young and college kids looking for easy money, not some ancient dude in a bar straight out of Cheers. Bitch, please.

Cheating with female impersonators? What the fuck? If that's what turns her on, then she has some serious issues.

Blackmailing his wife into signing the divorce papers. Call it what you will; but he would have spent some time in prison for that kind of shit. The only dates he would get would be in the shower on his knees in front of his roommate, Bubba.


I could go on; but this story was as boring as fuck.

Hmmmm....I guess physiology has changed since I studied it

Haven't heard of a woman with a low sperm count before....maybe she was related to your female impersonators???

5 stars

Could DGHear write wrong story?

Let me geuss? 14? 15?

That is how old I would guess this writer to be... couldn't even bother to finish this complete waste of time.

What is with the last three Anon comments?

They read through the whole story and then pick it apart, one complained that the husband was looking elsewhere as soon as he found out his wife was cheating on him, that reader should read the story again, the wife had been cheating on the husband for a very long time and multiple times. So tell me who is the bad guy here? the woman that constantly fucked around on her husband or the husband who waited until he divorced to find happiness? Well done DG and thanks for the story.

A good read.

This was an interesting story and well done in your usual fine style.

On SOL is JPB's excellent modern Figaro story

Fortunately he did not do any violance so he could met next mate and his immun system did not become weak becouse of the longterm sadness!!!!
BTW On SOL is JPB's excellent modern Figaro story I suggest the romantic not violance revenge story fans as I am.

WTF?!?!?!?

Sadly more of the same. My apologies to whomever had the tenacity to actually finish this. I'm hoping that the people praising this are being facetious.

BIG FAT ZERO!

Dear God! The humanity!

I felt bile rise in my throat when I read this. I couldn't even finish it. I think I would rather eat a steaming pile of fresh cow dung. Basically a slightly rewritten 'The Grocery Store'. Estragon should be lynched for 'editing' this story. If I were a writer I would steer clear of using Estragon as an editor. Did s/he even read the story? Spelling errors, grammatical errors, compositional issues. The praise that is heaped on this guy is incredible. Either the people who are praising him have had recent lobotomies or they are praising him out of contempt. I'm hoping for the latter.

My sincerest condolences,
The memorial service will be held Sunday

RE:WTF?????

If you didn't like it, why did you continue to read the story? as for other comments saying they like the story? WTF????????? has it got to do with you? it is not your story and obviously it is not your type of story so go read and write your own stories or stories you like. This writer is one of the best if not the best writer this site has ever seen, can you say the same thing about your stories?

saratu is

Sumerian for "cuckold"

Here is what I don't get

LW is the category on this Free site which coddles the smallest brains and dimmest intellects still capable of reading. The most talented authors have abandoned the category and post in other categories or on other sites; intelligent readers in the genre have followed them. A few good authors still post in LW but it is clear they write for their own enjoyment and not the audience. Praise and adulation is heaped upon the mediocre based solely on cuckolding, violence and predictability of the ending.

If anyone is surprised by the worship these pedestrian stories receive I advise them to look at the audience. I watched an audience full of Tea Partiers loudly boo and heckle one of my fellow soldiers at a GOP debate. I watched a cop languidly pepper spray peaceful sitting students. I have to remind myself daily that the freedom I defend is not just their freedom of speech, etc; it is their freedom to be stupid as fuck.