All Comments on 'Weight Loss Incentives Ch. 01'

This story has been written before, the idea and even the characters are the same, can't you think of something new, instead of copying someone elses idea?

Old folks are not sexy so 1*.

Yep, appears to be an oldie.

The ending shall be the wife trade the husband for her lover.You this path don't bother to continue,similar stories been written years back.

not much to it really. Keep writing.

she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp

You write in a clear and correct style. It flowed freely and wasn't overly burdened with unnecessary atmosphere or fancy writing which too frequently hinders meaning and clarity.

Granted, this is a bit mislabeled, at least for part one, but who knows what she's going to do further down the road?

Continue in your craft.

My wife promised and has delivered on a similar deal - though I have 20 lb increments to get the "rewards" best diet ever.

I hope the wife got Kate Gosslien's doctor for the ' Mommy Makeover ' surgery. I hate to be sexist but let's face it. Most women's bodies don't snap back after two kids, let alone four.

wow you guys sure haven't been neglecting your Haterade today! Given the thousands upon thousands of stories on this site do you think that this is the first repetition? Especially or the "loving wives" category (which happens to be pure repetition of at least 4 core story plots). Even if the story is unoriginal (like you haven't read the same story from different writers) some people do it better that some so give the guy a break i don't see your stunning contributions. Don't bring people down it's the holidays.

~Merry Christmas All

PS:To the writer it was a bit slow and if you were going for the build up a bit more is needed 3*

Please keep the story going as it is one of the few with a truly "loving" wife. The bulk of us (no pun intended?) do not comment, but just enjoy stories like yours.

For the wife to create ten more surprises until he reaches 200 might be too much. Perhaps he could lose 7 or 8 at a time to reduce the number. I am looking forward to your next ones, how ever many there are. Thanks.

tired theme 3*

You've created an awesome wife (or I should say a glimpse of one). She's been with him for 24 years, through thick (and fat) and thin (not for a while). She obviously loves him and desires him. And, it's not her hassling him about his weight-it is his own decision. But, she is 100% supportive and, at his suggestion, agrees to provide the proper naughty incentives for his weight loss. What a cool thing.

That said, this is a very short flash-story. I really don't know much about the characters. As a pure vehicle for husband-wife fantasy sex, this story is a good start. And, maybe that is all you intend to do with it. Anyway, it will be interesting to see how the incentives develop.

It was a good story. My fear is that as the weight comes off, our hefty protagonist will be cuckolded. I hope this isn't the case, but wifey getting bolder and bolder in her sexuality spooks me that she'll get other guys involved.

what they lead, what will follow. TK U MLJ LV NV

nice slow build up

His wife's name isn't Debbie Bascomb, so she's willing to work with him on losing the weight, and getting him back on track without deciding to run around on him! lol! Just thought that this was the 'anti-WWWM' beginning...

Suckly Stepanie combined . . . stayed tuned for the next installment. Just two of numerous examples where an editor is needed. Agree that more character development is needed. Keep trying and the next chapter will be better.

Wow....I'm relatively new to this site and thought I would contribute rather than just reading stories. This actually is a true story happening in real time. There will only be continuing chapters if I make the benchmarks. As for the cuckolding there will be nothing of the sort! If you can't appreciate a married couple madly in love with each other and NOT interested in sex with others than read something else. Thanks for reading.

feel free to delete some of the crappy Anonymous comments. So what if the story is done before, was the story copied word for word? Lets face fiction, every story is a spin on Dick and Jane love story. about the editing comments, have you found an editor to work with? that's key. I totally suck at editing and rely on others. so screw the negative people, get back on that horse and keep on writing!

You do have to write for yourself and have a bit of a thick skin. Some of the "negative" comments are constructive so pick and choose the ones to pay attention.

Most of all have fun and good luck to both of you on the incentive program!

This is weigh better than Nutra System for losing the pounds. I like this couple.