Sister's Affections

A total waste of time

Please DO NOT EVER post another story until it has been proof read several times and edited. I had to quit reading halfway through because of the spelling errors alone.
Writing well is a skill. It is one that develops over time with practice.
Writing poorly can be done by those of the simple-minded, which is demonstrated by this story.

Take your time!

Sooner or later you'll finish high school, lose your virginity and actually be able to write something without making the plot up as you go.
When you post something full of typo's, inconsistencies and with a rambly weird plot, all you're going to get is negative feedback. That doesn't help you as a writer, so only post your best work, and when you think it's your best, sit on it for a month and then re-edit it. Again. Be meticulous, be anal about it. It makes for a much better story.

At the risk of piling on abuse after you've received two critical comments, I need to tell you that this story is far from being ready for publication. As a writer teacher, I wouldn't even know where to begin editing this piece.

Correction

See how my own comment demonstrates what happens when you don't study your first draft. I meant to say "writer/teacher."

Began with promise...

Then became a total waste of time -- yours and mine. There's sex, of course, but nothing erotic about it.

sorry to say dude but after reading this my opion is IT SUCKS

good try

Try learning some grammar though, mixing up then and than and then editing sentences, leaving orphaned words, makes it a bad read.

R A P E

Why this site lets idiots write about rape is beyond me. RAPE IS WRONG.