Threads: The Island

I'm amazed...

...at how uncritical your commenters are. Right off the bat, there are two things wrong with this story (NOT including the length, tho I'm sure it could be shortened somewhat). First, it is quite evident that you didn't use spellcheck in whatever word processor you used to write it. (Every instance of "itenary" for "itinerary" betrays that.) And second, you are a Commonwealth native writing dialog for American characters. You don't know the American idioms well enough, so you should be using an American editor.

Good story, tho.

Are you guys dumb?

He's either dead, jailed or gone, just search around a little.

Great story!

If you expand this into a full-length novel, I would definitely buy it!! Please consider doing so!

My second time through and it reads as well as the first time. We'll done!

Wonderful

i didnt even jerk it to this. i was more interested in the plot and storyline than even bopping my balogna. I thought it was wonderfully written and kept the reader engaged and aroused in a boner of confusion and excitement at where the reader would be led to next. took 3 hours to finish but was worth every second

twice

second time I read this story. loved it both times.7BDI

Good Solid Read

This would be a good read without the sex. With the sex, it was very near outstanding.

Sequel

Amazing read and I'm devastated it's finished. Does anyone know if there's a sequel I'm craving it!!

Sequel Please!

Awesome read! Love the story line, best story I've read in a long time. Would love to read more! Could be read as an erotic novel, or as just a GREAT read. Great story line that keeps you wanting to keep reading even without the sex.

Great

Great story

Loved it. Sad that it came to an end.

epic

Definitely the longest story I've read on this site, but well worth the damn read! I'm hoping for much more, though spellcheck would help.

Sheer talent

Well written, drew me in and though not as expected this turned out to be one of the best short stories I've read.. very talented author and this should become a novel.Is there a sequel?

good story line

Liked the range of charaters and development, would love to see more story to this.

Predictions

I've been thinking about where this story could go with future installments. I get why Patricia doesn't want the same kind of relationship with Kyle, even though they're falling for each other, so I'd expect a kind of winding down between those two lovebirds. But Kyle still has 2 lovely ladies to have, and since he's basically the king of the Island and can literally make anything he wants legal, he can marry/knock up both of his sisters. It'd probably take a while to build up, and Patricias going to get jealous, but I just want Kyle, Kara and Katie to have a happy ending. Another way to go is Kyle has to choose between the three women (this one's probably a bit more realistic) and we can see Kyle's dilemma throughout the next installment of Threads.

A bit disappointed. (Constructive Criticism/Spoilers)

I'll try to be as constructive as possible, because I wanted to love (yes, love) the story. To start off, I would say there's a lot of excess fat that could easily be trimmed. So much unnecessary, boring pieces of fluff that didn't add much to the story (in my opinion). The whole conflict with Edwin probably could have been removed, and other parts could have been improved instead; I almost wanted to stop reading after the God-awful first chapter. Despite that, it might have been a good inclusion if the overall story was improved. (Even if the author is no longer writing, I kind of want to give my suggestions.)

Kyle & Patricia's relationship was quite run-of-the-mill and uneventful. It went from being an incest story, to a standard love story with an incestual love triangle that sadly got buried underneath. To spice up their relationship, I think something interesting could have been done: Patricia could have been their mother. Keep in mind that I don't know what ages were established for her and Danny, but that's something that could have been changed to make this fit. Imagine: a young Danny Tripps gets his younger sister pregnant and has to hide it from the world. He gives them up so no one finds out about their relationship, and later creates a fake story to tell his kids on his death bed. Initially, Patricia had thought that was behind her. But once she hears about Kyle's "incidents" with Kara and Katie, she feels torn. Kyle reminds her so much of Danny, but it's "wrong" for them to do anything. This would make their decision to stay together (as lovers) much more believable...

And speaking of that decision, it honestly made no sense. You built up this fake tension, as if Kyle and her were going to either going to stop seeing each other, or just be fuck-buddies. Not even a page-length later and they decide to stay together as lovers. It seems like you really lost your way and weren't sure what direction you wanted the story to go. That is even more evident by the numerous times you tried to resurrect Kyle's relationship with both Kara and Katie, only for it to get pushed on the back burner once again. Kyle sleeps in Katie's bed until she falls asleep, then it's like Kyle forgets she even exists for multiple pages. Katie wanted to know if it was a "womb thing" (the force that had drawn them together), and they decided the three of them should sleep in the same bed to see; this was established around page 28, but it didn't happen until the END of the story. Words can not describe how long I waited for that part to happen, and once I got to page 34, I had to go back to see if I had somehow managed to skip over that part. Once it finally happens, I was disappointed beyond belief.

The incestual love triangle was pushed to the side countless times, and the ending didn't even try to solidify their relationship. They put their feelings out in the open and decide to split up for 2 weeks to see if their feelings subside and to make sure it wasn't a "phase". This is how the story ends—there is no closure. It would be interesting to see someone redo this story (even if it's the author), perhaps taking some of my suggestions, and try to improve on what was a very good concept. Not a bad story by any means, it's just a shame that there is so much potential for what turned out to be a disappointing missed opportunity.

Side Note:

I probably seemed significantly more negative than I actually feel. I stand by my opinion that there is a lot of missed potential here, but it was still enjoyable enough as is. After reading the first few comments on here, I'd just like to say that I appreciate you posting the story in one go (assuming you ever see this). I personally can't stand people cutting their stories into chapters that are posted separately over time. I like feeling invested in a story, so major cuts can interfere with that.

No

I'm not the writer so there is no need for a title when I wish to compliment someone for exceptional work. My compliments to the chef. It was a great read.

What a story!

I've never been more full of sorrow to have finished an amazing a story as this, would love another story like this and keep up the good work!! 👍

Epic Read!

Absolutely brilliant! Loved the sexual tension, couldn't stop reading. Is there a continuation?

Enjoyed it

Read the first page. Hard to put it down... like to see more chaptees

Really Worth Reading

I was really drawn into this story. I felt the disillusionment suffered by Kyle when the two women in the world that he dreamed over, desired and used as his fantasy lovers, turned out to be his sisters. Only worse to find that his own sisters desired him as much as he, them.

That he was in love with a sick but beautiful woman with desires beyond his capabilities of performing, no matter how much he wanted her as his alone, made their loving inconsequential. The future for all four of them will be more than interesting, as long as we are not forced to read about fetishes and desires to be an object of the sick mind of a Marquis De Sade character. I hope that at some time in the future you bring us up to date on their rejoining and we find Kyle, Kara & Katie sneakily living out their dreams of being together.

A fan of your writing forever.