To summarise, your five rules for guys on a first date are:
1. Don't look but do look
2. Pay for everything, it's expected
3. Don't expect anything because it won't happen
4. Be wonderful and complimentary but don't overdo it
5. Don't expect anything because it won't happen
What are us guys supposed to learn from this? That all women we might date are money grabbing users looking for a bit of pampering and a free night out and will ultimately give us the 'some other time' brush-off? Nice lesson! I'll choose to give it zero credence, but then I am a bit of a romantic. Silly me! It really was women that killed chivalry wasn't it? Such a shame!!
This is just sad. I hope that either a) you were being sarcastic and I simply didn't catch it, or b) we never meet.
Oh these rules do make us old-fashioned gals sound bad. Here are my revisions:
(1) If she's showing, you can look. Why else would she be showing? If she'd didn't want you to look, then she'd be covered properly.
(2) I'd prefer to pay my share. After all, if you don't spring for all the expenses, then you can't say that I owe you anything at the end of the evening.
(3) Hmmm... I'm not sure what this one even means. Does it mean don't expect to hit it off with every girl? Does it mean don't expect to go to bed on the first date? Can't really comment till I know the meaning.
(4) Oh I agree. Be a gentleman. Hold open my door, "offer" to carry things for me (don't go ripping things out of my hand like I'm helpless, but at least make the offer).
(5) I would just say no on the first date no matter what. I'm looking for a romance not a one-night stand. If you want that, then go pick up a girl at a bar, don't make a date with her.
That is the way that I did it, because that was the way that I was taught, by my father, to treat a lady. I only got a second date (and later a third date) from 2 women, but only the 1 that I wasn't attracted to invited me home. (I accepted when I shouldn't have, regretted it, and didn't enjoy myself. I learned!) The rules that I followed may have had something to do with not getting many repeat dates.
On number 2: if she orders a $500 glass of wine, don't expect her date to pay for it unless that is the least expensive option. Not that I'm saying that she should order the cheapest items on the menu! But don't order all of the most expensive items either. For example: If she orders the most expensive meal then she should be willing to order a midrange priced drink, and an inexpensive, or no, desert. Unless she doesn't want him to ask her out again. (She should remember that he might have single friends, that he could talk to about how the date went!)
As to number 3: One of my dates was really over in less than 5 minutes, though I stuck it out, due to her spending the entire date talking about alcohol when I had ordered a soda to drink and, later, mentioned that I choose not to drink alcohol. Of course I didn't order for her, or tell her what she could, and could not, order. (I would never do that!!!) But alcohol this, alcohol that, and alcohol the other thing.......... It got real old, and very boring, extremely quickly! And every attempt of mine to change the subject, fell flat. She obviously wasn't interested in what I was interested in and had nothing else going on in her life to talk about, and had to dominate the conversation. My point is that subjects to talk about should be a shared decision, and not boring for either person. At least give the other person a chance to talk. Also, a date where I have to do all the talking, because she won't speak at all, is a problem too.
Speaking of alcohol, if my date got drunk, I would offer to drive her home, or call her a cab, assuming that I didn't pick her up. If I drove her home I would make sure that she got inside and could get to her bedroom or bathroom. If she was passed out, and lived alone, I would put her face down in the bathtub, with her head turned to 1 side, making sure that she could breath, and maybe remove her necklace, watch, bracelets, and rings, putting them on the edge of the sink or toilet lid, in plain sight, just in case she vomited. But wouldn't I loosen any clothing, not even her bra (so she could breath easier), though that might be a good idea, it could be misconstrued, especially if the bra was a front-opening style. Nor would I spend the night! And I would definitely not have sex with her!!! That would be rape!!!!!!!! (Even if she was semiconscious, she could not consent.) And I wouldn't ask her out again!
Note: All of this is mute, I haven't gone on a date in over a decade (mostly because I'm too broke to afford it, but also because it was pointless), and don't plan to date ever again (being over 50 now does eliminate any realistic options for that type of activity). I've never been married, don't have any children, and no longer expect for either to happen, nor am I willing to live with a woman (I would have to know her REAL well before I would invite her to live in my home, besides I've lived alone for 20+ years so I don't know if I could adjust to sharing my home).
But it was an interesting article anyway!
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