Sleeping Sister

Lame

This POS wouldn't give a hard-on to a prison lifer. I almost fell asleep halfway through.

Really?

Im going to go out on a limb here and suggest you have only heard about sex and girls by rough description. Buy yourself a new inflatable sex toy and leave erotic stories to non virgins.

Dreadful

a non-story

not much of a turn-on, but.....

I liked it anyway, because I did that to my sister, once. She didn't have an orgasm, but I could tell she was getting excited in her sleep.

dont listen to them

Dont listen to those others that left comments. I find this story very appealing as i have had a similar experience . Please go on!

An idea or two.

The storyline is excellent. I would like to make a couple of suggestions to make the story better. One, don't rush. The differnce between a good story, and a great one is the build up. If you treat your story like it is a sex partner, you must remember that your partner will not be satisfied with a quicky. Let the character take his time with his sleeping sister. Build up with lots of suspense in a story of this type is so important. My second piece of advise, is add dialogue. Convdersation between the characters goes a long way. I know the sister is sleeping, but there should be some conversation before she goes to sleep. It makes for much better reading. My advise is to pull the story, do a rewrite, and repost it. I'm sure you'll get much better responses.

.

I'm starting to think all of these 5 paragraph authors are spammers. No wonder this site is going down the tubes. The powers-that-be allow just about anything to be submitted. Then the mindless zombies sit and go, "Ho ray" to anything they read.... even when the grammar is shit.

erin or aaron

I couldn't get past the first paragraph because Erin is the female spelling of the name. Aaron is the male spelling. I kept being thrown into a lesbian description rather than brother/sister and it was too hard to follow the intro.

I wonder what reading universe these people live in who take such silly pieces of writing so seriously. Do you really think a few paragraphs of nonsense deserve a critique?

I expected more to happen

You should have the sister find out, be ok with it, and in turn have them fuck. That's how all the good stories do it.

More

More chapters please and very good work

Needs more content

Not explicit enough i suppose.

bro masterbates sis

Nice story for me it was way too short and you should have gone into way more detail.

The one main point of your story w ith you and your sister is that you never did more than a little finger touching around her love hole, also you never tried to screw her that I found you had good taste by doing so.

Next time you need to be much much more descriptive.

Needs More

I liked it but it was way to short and not enough detail. Could have gone on way longer.

What?

If this is your idea of an erotic story, please give up until you learn a whole lot more about what people want.