500 Annies Ch. 01

Well written. Good setup.

This plot seems well conceived and thought out. As always, the set-ups can be very dramatic. The ending will be the acid test, but this certainly has promise. I will reserve my vote until the conclusion as I have been impressed with beginnings before only to be disappointed by the ending. I will be waiting for the next chapter. Thanks for some excellent writing, but who is Jamie that pops up when they go to dinner and the wife is pregnant? We seem to have four characters here, Joe, Annie, AJ and Jamie. What did I miss?

what a bitch

.

So far , so good -

This is a decent story ... so far. It's relatively easy to write how the wound to the heart was incurred. The hard part is writing a satisfactory resolution . I will say that is ' one cold woman ' to leave the way she did. If the narrator has any real spunk - he's far better off without her.

Like the esteemed ( but, alas, inactive as if late ) author HDK , I'm reserving my vote till the sequel.

Really good

Very engaging. Excellent set-up. I liked your choice for how to present the narrative, just a nice added touch. I am wondering why the wife was so concerned about hubby's job loss (Worried about having to pay alimony? Worried that with him underfoot she won't be able to keep the secret?). What a sucky way to find out-a Dear John letter from the wife of 30ish years, with a plea that he not try to contact her ever again. Thanks for giving us a chance, bitch! Reminds me a little of the unfinished "Why," except with less mystery.
Honestly, I would have a serious problem with my wife having "private art lessons" with an eligible dude once or twice a week FOR YEARS. Especially if, after more than 2 years, she still sucks as a painter. Haha-I actually appreciated the low-key humor in this story. Obviously, you are a gifted writer. I'll be back for the rest.
I don't care if you drop the ball with the continuation (though I doubt you will, and sincerely hope you won't), I'll still give this installment full marks.

Ditto to what Harddaysnight wrote.....

Can't wait for the next chapters.

Great Start

Look forward to future chapters

It bothers me

that his wife could so callously have a 2 year affair and attempt to shift the blame for her extramarital sex and sluttish actions and destruction of their marriage to her husband. Especially odd in this warped logic of hers when she knew he was unaware of the affiar because he trusted her to much. In my opinion she was obviously and an extremely selfish, self centered woman who very easily put her own feeling of lack in her life above all the people in her family and in her marriage. If I were to meet her later while she traveled bed to bed in Eurorpe with he self-described soul mate Ramon (probably a sexual predator but she was too dumb to see it and of course younger than her) within a few minutes I would see her selfishness and missplaced lust for a younger fucktoy and then become completely disgusted with her. I would of course just before leaving her, ask her when was the last time she talked to her daughter or had she forgot about her as she had her marriage and her husband.
Also reminding her in final comment, a good orgasm does not remotely mean that their is love when you fuck.

Waiting with a worm on my tongue...

...(with baited breath) for your conclusion.

Well started and you are an excellent wordsmith from past readings I've done of yours, so I expect to be likewise well entertained in the second or last part of your story.

You've done an excellent job of writing your reader into the emotions of this story. Thank you for writing it.

5***** from me for this part.

Regards,
-Pultoy

Unanimous, so far

HDK seems to have said all the right things. Ditto works for me, too!
My only quibble into Hubby's last several years with Sweetie seem to put him at home much more than afield, and yet Sweetie still felt abandoned. Coulds easily been her and her new focus, or it coulda been the quality of his 'homework.' (or it could be me, misreading things!)
Waiting with bated breath!

Excellent start, can't wait for chapter 2.

Also, what a freaking bitch...

what a sad story

and why that optimistic undercurrent ?

look at the facts: 50 years old and you could say his whole married life is a lie. he has to realize it now. she never opened up to him since she could not have more than one child. she went along until found something more exiting but even before she did not talk what really bothered her.

and don't tell me now 50 is young. most guys at 50 are not worn down maybe like their fathers or grandfathers but they are not 20.

so how can this turn to an erotic story ? well I hope he is not all of a sudden superman meating a 25 year old and fuck her to death. or is even after this experiance still the same trusting guy he was before.

well it was good written and I will be happy if you can surprise me with an explanation that is not out of this world.

Well written story about a truly sad state of affairs. The wife in your story is one messed up stupid woman. I hope the next chapter is all about how the kids never talk to their mother ever again and the husband meets a young or not so young female that treats him with the respect he is due. One question I will ask is if the wife loved her husband so much why the hell didn't she talk to him, not drop hints, really talk to him about how she felt instead of fucking around on him?

Unique setup

Unique setup and well-written beginning. Whatever happens next won't change the quality of this first Chapter so 5* for this.

Wow!

I was started to get bored with cheating wives stories. This one restored my zeal.

Unique and Excellent

I really liked how you started this story. Very unique approach and well written. Looking forward to more *****.

Thank you for writing this.

THE ANNI'S ARE EVER HARD TO COME BY

it takes a year of ups and downs. TK U MLJ LV NV

NOT SEXY AT ALL

I just could not get interested in this at all.It rambled on and on.Unless I missed something It was just not worth reading.

#2 THE THEME OF THIS STORY HAS SEVERAL OVERTONES

and since you are adequately sufficient I think you should continue this story. TK U MLJ LV NV

the whore must burn

Every pair of testicles on here demands Anne and ramon burn for this. Death is too good for them. They need a living hell in which death would be a welcome respite.

Jaime is Annie, Right?

Hey, HDK, when Joe plans the first trip for Annie and calls home to talk about it to his wife and daughter, AJ hands the phone to Jaime, who gets all gooey with Joe about how happy she is about the trip. That's Annie on the phone, by another name.

I enjoyed this story and it's original format. This allowed covering a lot of time and events with a summary-level narration. Looking anxiously for chapter two. I'm guessing Annie gets into trouble in Europe and calls Joe to save her. To the chagrin of the revenge crowd who comment here so vociferously, I'm guessing Joe does the right but difficult thing. Just guessing. Five stars so far.

she is fucking around for two years and basically steals their finances

dont call me i wont talk to you. You copy her letter to every know relative and friend. Then you go for blood in the divorce and then if she comes back to the states with or without ramon you make her life a living hell. Hell come in many forms, sugar in gas tanks, potatoes shoved up exhaust pipes, broken exterior water lines, whispered stories to neighbors and church groups, raw sewerage or old dead fish dumped in cars in the summer. Nothing severe, nothing real criminal, nothing traceable............

Either the use of the name Jamie was an error,

a red herring, or a clue about the way this story is going to go. Ever watch "Fight Club". At the end you find that the two guys are really the same guy. This may be where the two women really are two women, at least in his mind...or the writer was sloppy with names?

I'm actually confused

I wasn't really keen on it; yes, it was well constructed but it didn't really engage me. Judging from other comments, I may be in the minority.
I won't be in a hurry to read the sequel, sorry.

Good Start

Now how do we get back at Annie for leaving? I'm waiting...

My first reaction would have been to hunt her down and make her life miserable, but then again she probably wasn't worth the time and expense. If he was that clueless, no wonder she looked elsewhere.

a funny thing happened on my way to comment....

I was thinking of a few ways this guy could burn Annie in the fashion fitting a two bit whore, when I had the idea for my next story. Too bad I have another in the works or I'd be going at the new idea now.
Because of my idea I'm fresh out of ideas for you so ill just say please don't have our hero be her hero. Burn her good.

Saxon Hart

A very good story so far......

You have me spellbound in anticipation for the next installment. That's hard to do but you did it.

I like the Second Chance stories.........

Interesting story I hope he could rebuild his life in the second part and he found a Second Chance woman. I am curious to his Second Chance woman........

Thanks For Sharing***

Good read looking forward to the following chapters.

A little bit

I'm a little bit confused on the whole Jamie thing, did you proof read this or am I missing something. Well it was an intresting read anyway so I gave it 4 stars, can't wait for the rest.




Ace4869

Ditto --- HDK

The one problem with the structure is that we know that he survived. Hero series have that problem, you know there is no threat.... He will get through to a good place. There is no rule that says that the scales have to balance!

Unique revenge on the runaway wife

Make money on telling your story, let the world know what a cheating bitch she is and live a happy life! Thanks for writing. 5*

Unique Point of View

Refreshing way to tell your story.

Sending your wife out to travel on her own.

Is about the dumbest things a man could do for his wife. He caused the rift to grow wider and it could only lead to the ultimate end of his marriage.

Sending her off on trips, the concept seems so strange....

Lousy

Didn't care for the format, the story, the protagonist...nothing.

Great

Everything about this story was great.

Is it Annie or Jamie?

There are three separate references to Jamie, not Annie, the first when she announced in the restaurant that she was pregnant. Past that, I almost side with the wife. After announcing how important family is, his actions were the opposite. Then having her take private art lessons with a guy? Any idiot would see where that would go.

rubbish

and you have the cheek to go on wanking out your verbose dull twattle..
you fuckin turd!

Yep she is still a botch and no redemption

Period - even with the rest of the story -

Never even gave him a chance and knew it -

"Ramon and I have been sleeping together for about two years. Two years and you had no idea! That should tell you how far apart we've drifted. It was easy to fool you, you had absolute trust in me."

He did not drift apart - she ran away - he TRUSTED his loving wife she knew it and played him for an ass. He knew he did not understand but he knew - she fucked him good -

LIKED THEY ASKED MRS LINCOLN

but did you enjoy the play, TK U MLJ LV NV

hmmm

What a cunt.

NPR?

The framing idea of the NPR show interview doesn't make sense. If they followed true to form, they'd have a "women's studies" writer on to attack his book as a chauvinist example of patriarchical literature, designed to propagate the myth of the unfaithful female.

And he wouldn't be invited to respond.

Just like a woman

I will bet that she has been suporting her new lover, and he will take her money and drop her real soon.

My 3rd re-read, and I am still as impressed as with first time.

If truth that every artist include some of his personality into his art, it tells me that you are very humble and lovely person.
None of that pompous attitude some writers excel in. Incredibly entertaining read. Thank you.
'annie'

Thoughts At Re-Reading

For the wives complaining about their husbands’ travel, do they think that in most cases the husbands wouldn’t prefer to travel less?

And if they are so upset when their husbands are gone, why don’t they act more loving when their husbands ARE home?

“I know you've tried to get it [the excitement] back several times lately, but it was too little, too late.”

Maybe because it takes TWO to make it work!

“It was easy to fool you, you had absolute trust in me.” – So that’s how you reward him for his trust? You couldn’t reward his trust by TELLING him how unhappy you were, and work WITH him to try to fix things before cheating? Then, IF you couldn’t fix things separate/divorce before taking a lover?

And to abandon her daughter as well!

500 annies

Comment at end of story. Stars at each break.
Ed Grocott
edgrocott@gmail.com

Qhml always delivers a winner!

Thanks for your tale! Can't wait for Chapter 2.

Captivating

Felt like I was listening to the interview myself...
J

I Think

This is the third read for me...just as captivating the 3rd time as the first.

20/20 hindsight

doesn't make up for the betrayal

1 Annie is bad enough