Blood and Love Ch. 01

Hmmmm

Not bad at all...seems to me it's gearing up to be a good story however you should watch out for the mistakes Good luck with the rest of the story :-)

Can't wait to read more. Cliffhangers suck though. No prejudice for using one, but way too short.

Intriguing

I agree though it has possibilities

nice start

this story has me hooked already and has alot of potential and i know this is the first chapter but i wish the rest to be longer please and thank you :)

hmm Twilight meets The Vampire Diaries. Hope no one sparkles in the sun :p

good start

good start continue writing and let the story kickoff from here.

It's always the new student

Vamps. Nice start.

great start

loving the first chapter. Just slighty confused though on where its set. Is it in England (the 'mate' and 'arse' ) Or USA with the whole junior year thing. Not really important, just bugging me

Great start!

I love the story, but the grammar could use some work. Keep at it!

Vampire diaries

I should have done this earlier. As speculation shows, I'd like to clear a few tings. The famous tv series Vampire diaries has been my favourite and a direct inspiration to my novel here. Hence, there exists certain similarities i had to let in to maintain the feel. Anyway, as the story proceeds, I assure that there's a lot more coming.
And thank you everyone for the comments. :)

Will follow with interest

As with all writing editing is essential, but lets be fair reading is much easier than writing.
I don't think Pride & Prejudice could be classified as a Victorian novel. Victoria didn't come to the throne until the 1840's.

Its like vampire diaries meets twilight with boy love. I was cracking up. You could for sure use an editor and a proofreader but great job.

xoxo
C.

This is my second time around reading this story and I love it again already the simplicity and ease so far is lovely onwards and upwards as they say....

You definitely NEED an editor.

hmm

So far i liked the start but i agree with lonesome you do need to have proper editing it was a bit hard to follow at one point but worth the read so far also make the chapters longer if you can please.all the best nix

Confused

I'm confused in the beginning it says

Amanda called after him but he left. She came over to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's gonna be fine, Evan.

I was confused because I'm pretty sure that the main characters name was not Evan. I went to check back and his name was Sean , his brother was Aaron and her name was Amanda. Now.. who is Evan lol. I read forward and noticed the transfer's name is Evan. I don't think Amanda knows Evan.
typo?

saw the same typo.

there was "he" instead of "she" or at least I thought it was supposed to be "she". I wasn't sure. should read through and fix that when you have chance.

THIS STORY IS NOT FINISHED ......AND NEVER WILL BE... WRITER PASSED AWAY SORRY