All Comments on 'Best Friends Discover... Each Other'

There's not really enough detail. and almost no background. How did they meet? How long have they been friends? Why have they never dated? How did two such good looking people get all the way through high school without a date? There were a few hints, but not nearly enough to make the story work. Keep trying, and add a bit more to the next one.

It is bad enough to mix tenses in one story but here we see present tense and past tense both in one sentence. Very distracting.

This was very good I hope there is a follow on!

That's one hell of a cliffhanger.

The plot was interesting and entertaining. I agree with the prior comment that you left us with a cliffhanger. However (and isn't there always one); your writing would come across much better if you would stop switching tenses in mid stream. Most of this story was presented in the past tense, but several time you switched to present tense in mid-sentence. That drive a lot of readers nuts, and will result in your story not being scored as highly as it should. Maybe talk to an editor to read it over and catch such problems before final submission. What ever you do though, do keep writing.

Start of a great story, I hope there is more to come.

Reading between the lines, I take it they grew up together as best friends and didn't date because they were brains in school and only thinking of their studies.

While I agree that the tenses need to be fixed to where they agree with each other, I must say that this story was such a wonderful tale. Clever plotting and very good pacing. Oh, and I LOVE the cliffhanger ending!

Just fix up the tenses, and it'll be a masterpiece!!!

The Atomic Chicken

Tenses have already been mentioned, but pacing needs to be addressed also. Weeks pass in the same sentences as minutes. Other than those issues, it was a good story with excellent dialogue.