All Comments on 'Getting Even Gets Interesting'

that first timie's the charm. A bit of editorial help would improve things (all good writers use editors, to spot things they miss), but this is a first-rate story from a writer who should do more for us eroticians.

Editing is important - eg, you've used vein when you meant vain, excepted for accepted - there should be no barrier twixt Storyteller (you) and readership (many). But you've incorporated motive, a line, a start, and perhaps a premature finish - (finished the sex, but not the revenge?). More of.

Re: the first two comments, for your first time out, the story is well written and I think that rather then an editor, you need to proofread your story before submission.

First, a woman who is not a virgin, and has received oral sex, yet has never performed oral? I found that hard to accept.

Second, as described, five beers would most likely have been enough to put the narrator to sleep.

Finally, the ending was just a dead stop. No denouement, no exploration of the effect on the friendship... just bang, done.

Not bad. Needs an editor, for sure; and if this is intended to be a multi-part story, it's best to say so up front.

Spellchecker does not catch correctly spelled, but incorrect words. Still, keep writing as your have a fresh approach.

with other commentators. The editorial missteps really hurt an otherwise engaging story. You can write, no question about it, but the story really needs either a page 2 or a chapter 2. And a copy editor. And, oh yes, take it easy on the beer.

Not a bad story, of course for a first time you can expect some mistakes, keep writing and you will get better the more you write.

I think she will get pregnant in your follow up story.

Your story needs a chapter 2 just to let people know what happens next instead of leaving everyone hanging. I do agree with the others that there is a talent here for writing, but that it needs to be worked on and refined some.

I generally liked the story, and rated it 5 due to being a first story and foreknowledge that it ill be rated down due to some of the problems others had listed. It indeed ended too soon, and you have to be careful with some words sounding right but aren't. A simple paragraph or two 9 months later with the two expecting their first child, and possibly married, would have added a lot to a satisfying ending.

Keep writing.

No I think you ended it at a good point.

For a first writing effort, this was damn-ass hot. Good flow, nice job of building the story. I look forward to reading your next story.

"He offered me a ride home and I excepted."

ACCEPTED.

After she took off her yellow cotton tank top and bra, what white shirt with zipper was she wearing? Oh, wait, could that have been a white skirt?