All Comments on 'The Legacy Ch. 05'

Let me start with the fact that I like the plot line very much.

I do have some suggestions though:

You might want to explain more thoroughly what exactly the main character is an expert in and what he did for Uncle Sam for 23 years.

Additionally, you jumped to the end without developing the story fully. It seems really forced.

Just my opinion...

Love this series and the first five chapters. Now can't wait to see where this goes.

Hope to see more soon

Just wanted to let people know this story is part of the Damsels in Distress Universe

on www,storiesonline.net created by Lazlo Zalezac there are currently 21 stories by various authors.

Kingkey

I have enjoyed everything so far in this story, and now we get to the sci-fi stuff and it looks to be just as good. Keep up the great work.

... a conundrum indeed.

This story, so far, has great promise, yet many readers finding their source material solely from Literotica don't know the "Universe" which your pen unveils. I have seen your comment addendum, but may I suggest a brief prologue explaining the origins of your story for future (and possibly past) submissions?

Hopefully a helpful comment...

(Five Stars.)

You have a way of getting the reader into the story then stop. I think if you were to make the chapters a little longer you would keep the readers even happier.

All right you got me hooked now get to writing

Hope you're able to continue Jake's story. I've really enjoyed it more than Doc.

well what can i say good strong charitisation, good gripping plot and a fascinating plot consent.

i've had to 5 star all 5 chapters so far and i had to favort them and you just so i could read more.

story's that are gripping and shear quiltly are rare on these boards, this looks to be one of the hidden gems.

nice job.

I enjoyed Doc very much. So I decided to read farther, this story has a lot going for it. A sense of chivalry, a sense of mystery and of adventure all rolled into one. Can't wait to continue.

This needs to be continued.

If your still breathing you got to start writing. Right now I'm just hanging here at 20000 ft. What happend, this is a damn good yarn.

i absolutely love this story!!!

it is one of my favorites on this entire site

Ok! So you have written 5 chapters. :) When do we get the next instalments??

Come on! Don't leave us hanging like that! :)

last chapter just as the scifi kicks in :(

Finnish it please

Been two years, I don't thik it will be finished, besides there is another story about crossroad, its called++ JUST ENOUGH.++

ED

it would be a shame leaving the story here . it would be nice to continue the story .

Addictive. Awaiting more.

Ok why didn't you finish it you did another story but left this one unfinished Author's like you suck

Just as it starts to get really good Semper Fi

How come it is that this ( me) disable vet,finds a good story that is never finished?? Did the writer die? or just say fuck it!

A whole 1 star as usual for an unfinished story. Wish I could give less.

Keep writing!

all this work setting the stage for a series that never happened.

woulda

coulda

shoulda

I enjoyed this story but am unsure if u are still writing. If u write more I am sure readers will enjoy it

i just read this almost same story 2 days ago but the only diff was the intro but like the same shit... caretakers, Casandra, chaos, and even a guy named jake with companions, and caretakers, in it from SW_MO_Hermit called Enough its like he finished the story but not caus he redid it

I hadn't known you were doing a story in the "Damsel in Distress" universe, I hope you return to it someday!

Jake

There are a large number of stories written in this universe, known as "Damsels in Distress" on another website. They share the same general setup of heroes sent from Earth to Crossroads on their way to the world of Chaos. There are at least a dozen authors who have written stories that I know of in this story universe. Many of them use former military personnel for their heroes, few 'normal' civilians would be able to survive there long without extensive training. At least one of the authors used a hero who was a historical reenactor belonging to the "Society of Creative Anachronisms" (the SCA) who learn to live & fight as though they were living in the middle ages, needless to say that could give them a little leg up in dealing with the lifestyle on Chaos.

This was a great series, I'd love to read more!

Do you ever finish any of your stories?

Once a story is started why not finish it?

have read your stories and I am impressed with your Doc series as well as Legacy series please continue as I find them brain simulating and would love to read many more unfortunately I only read here and am not registered

i think this is unfinished

Every writer that does not comeplete a story needs to be totally removed from Literotica.

the author of this has not written on lit for TEN years so has possibly died , so the authors of neg comments just think before you write