How It Happened

Kind of a crappy place to end the chapter

It reads as if both brother and sister may like to have sex and investigate incest.

I hope to see more soon.

just a pointer

Everyone knows that descriptions are kind of bland, but they do give us a good backgrounds on the characters. for example, i read the start of this story from a guys perspective until the brother said "little sister" just a pointer ;)

great so far

Wonderfully written, and a lot more believable than most stories here! For a first attempt I'm amazed.

The cliffhanger is excruciating... hope the next part comes soon!

Pretty Good

The story was pretty good until towards the end. I recommend adding something happening the next day.

This could be real horny the way its going.

love the start of this your first story . how it happened .
i can see lots taking place with your brother and you. so now on to the next part or parts .

Where is the rest!?

So far I am very into this story, can't wait to read more!

Cliffhanger!!!

you had to leave it at a cliffhanger.....sob!! It was a super hot start and can't wait until you continue it. Please don't leave us waiting us for to long.

wow.......

I loved it..........please keep going.........very believable story...you have a definite writing ability...and imagination to go along with it.........mmmm.....

nice start

I hope you write more. This is the start of real tension, I like the way you write.

Your story and writing deserve a higher "score" than the 4 that I gave it.

The reason was the "5" level says "the best I've read" and that just isn't trueful; however, it is one of the best for a first entry story. It was well written and carefully edited and that deserves the highest vote possible. As all the other commenters indicated, continue with your chapter/chapters and quickly if possible. You have a lot of anxious readers awaiting the next installment. Cudos to you and your writing!

Thank you all

Thank you all for your thoughts. I am writing the next installment currently and I hope I am able to submit it before the end of next week. Thanks again!!

so-so

for a first draft it was good but not postable . there was no real background as to their relationship before this happened and it was way to rushed especially when the drinking started. what you wrote here should be spread out over weeks not one day slow down and build the plot but first build the charicters personalities so we can get to know them and how they feel and act. without proper background nothing makes sense it would be best to get a good editor and do a rewrite on this adding the missing background and slowing down the action.

I don't.

I don't.

What there is of it...

Is well done. The problem is it is to short. You touch on things then, nothing....

enjoy ur story, waiting for the next part.

great first go

I really enjoyed it, and think great for first story, but yes a bit rushed. Really looking forward to conclusion

the 5 W's and the H!

Good for a start, I agree with other posters you need more back story to get to the flash drive. Why is a sister attracted to her brother? Why the incest angle? I liked the couch wrestling but it was not descriptive enough... is she 5'5" 130 lbs and hes only slightly larger? or is he 6'1" and the biggest guy on the sports team? Who, What, Where, When and most importantly, Why and HOW are what get the juices flowing... Again its a good start - keep writing.

I see three comments from the same fony

Please disregard any negative comments from anyone that posts them as anonymous. This is a good first story and it is not to short if it's what you got to give. Anonymous is to ashamed to put a name to their comments. Please keep on working on your craft.

Dont stop

Great start.. why did you stop.. keep it going please

keep writing

it was really good for your first story and i hope keep this going cant wait to see whats happens next though cant wait until the next good luck

Great start

This is an excellent start to what should turn out to be an even better story. Great plot development, good spelling and grammar, even better character dialogue. Please finish this as I am seriously interested in the conclusion.

Brilliant

After a long time, I read a story that actually describes incest as it really is. OK, confession, I have had a quasi incestuous relationship with my cousin albeit pretty brief.

Let me laud the author here in really getting the part about incest right - it has nothing to do with attraction, nothing to do with looks, and nothing to do with anything but the actual relationship that the couple share. Care and affection - that is the source.

While I have loved many of the incest stories on Literotica as well as outside, I have found very few stories that really express the best part of incest - the innate bond.

Fabulous!

that was great cant wait for more

The story was slow

and boring. The conversations were to stilted and disjointed. You need to work on your writing skills.

Nice first story. Keep writing. you have me looking forward to the next chapter not every author does. I really like how it seemed like a real experience and not just a exaggerated fantasy. Pretty believable except for the 2 bottles of Vodka. (unless they were tiny bottles) that's my only bit of nit-picking. Well done

Loved it... So far

I found it very realistic. Although I'm not into the whole series thing, I think it is a hot beginning. It caused me to have incest with myself. Lol. Keep writing. You are doing great!

Realistic

I thought it was realistic in the way it developed and the way it was told. It was believable. I don't care for multi-part stories, but hope to see the next chapter of this one.

Excellent

can't wait for more

Fucking rubbish

Ase Hole

stop writing

before you write any more so called stories stop and learn first. read the how to articles here and a lot of stories by GOOD writers then find a GOOD EDITOR before trying to write again. no background equals a rush job and ruins a story. a cliff hanger ruins a story because 99% of writers here fail to finish a story. find an editor and do a rewite on this before trying anything else.

SO....

So if you read this, please know that "so" isn't how your start a story or sentence, but you did it many times. So after reading it several times I got disgusted and didn't read any further, so you see what I mean? So once I see it's the first word, I think where did this person learn to write and is this really the way he speaks? So, see what I mean, just grow up a little and stop it.

You had me interested.

You got some hard comments from some so called critics. Don't fret it. As Chris Christopherson once said, "Don't let the bastards get you down."
You did get one bit of good advice, get an editor. But don't stop writting. You are good, and you can be great. Just keep plugging away at it, and remember great writting isn't the same as how we talk. That's where the dialogue comes in.

Pretty darn good!

I thought this was an extremely fun to read story. Onto the second part!

Another Fucking Teaser

If you can't write a complete story, why bother?