All Comments on 'Our New House Ch. 01'

Slow down and enjoy the moment -- more description and buildup would make this a much more exciting story. It was STILL a hot tale, but I felt like you ruxhed to get it all down.

never happened and certainly not realistic

I agree. Good first story, hot scenario (although pushes the limits of reasonability, even for fantasy). But too fast, too fast. Started to sound like a police report.

It felt rushed. I want to savor the experience, and more smoothly transition through the build up into the encounter. Sexy, but hurried.