Slow down and enjoy the moment -- more description and buildup would make this a much more exciting story. It was STILL a hot tale, but I felt like you ruxhed to get it all down.
I agree. Good first story, hot scenario (although pushes the limits of reasonability, even for fantasy). But too fast, too fast. Started to sound like a police report.
by
Anonymous03/06/12
I agree
It felt rushed. I want to savor the experience, and more smoothly transition through the build up into the encounter. Sexy, but hurried.
English
Too fast !!
Slow down and enjoy the moment -- more description and buildup would make this a much more exciting story. It was STILL a hot tale, but I felt like you ruxhed to get it all down.
bullshit
never happened and certainly not realistic
What Phantom Said
I agree. Good first story, hot scenario (although pushes the limits of reasonability, even for fantasy). But too fast, too fast. Started to sound like a police report.
I agree
It felt rushed. I want to savor the experience, and more smoothly transition through the build up into the encounter. Sexy, but hurried.
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