the second part was too rushed. There needed to be more; more to the story. It reads as if you didn't know how to end it, so you had the two couples divorce and then Bill, who holds the party, dies unexpectedly and off story. There were so many different ways you could have gone with the story.
This abrupt ending is disappointing. One of the aspects most readers want is how all the characters dealt with the situation and resolved their lives going forward. This story just stopped. It could of been so much better if it was finished adequately. Maybe next time...
the foundation you built could certainly have been lengthier, you had lots of plot built up to have a lot of post friday party fallout. I do like the response and reaction of the husband, sex and or group sex may be inticing to watch but when he spied his wife his wood softened. Outside of the minority of folks that u can see on the internet like Brandilove, one's own life is not a porn video, swinging is a no go. I'd ask this author to revamp ch2 and use the material he set up in chapter 1.
I am glad he had the balls to walk, its a shame he didn't have the balls to torch bill's house mid party. Ending was quite abrupt and the two cunts didn't pay enough.
Come on, fucked by 15 men? In 90 minutes? Must have been two or three men for every woman. It was too much, and with a more realistic number of participants with somewhat less egregious sex I think it would have been a better story.
I join to others, it was too short. I think a third chapter with the 2 friends and their new connections with newer women (new marriage-babies) and an accidental encounter with Gail 3-4 years later would be better.....
I liked the second chapter, even though it was a bit short. Definitely does not warrant an entire third chapter, but a little more meat on the current set of bones would have been good.
In Bobbies shoes, I'm afraid that I would have really shown my anger, as well as hurt.I would have wanted her to tell me how it felt to suck, and fuck black and white cocks, and come home to me, and tell me how much she loved me, and want to make love to me. I would want her to tell me how she thinks she could ever make up for all the times she sucked and fucked those guys. How she thinks I could ever trust her again? You rushed the story, and I am sure any man would want to hear her answers, before he walked out the door.
Thanks for not making the husbands wimp cowards. This is how it should end. I think if Gail had really cared about her husband, she would have told him before going to the party and asked him if they could both try it, then they would still be happily married, but she was just another cold hearted uncaring selfish cunt. too bad
The story would have been better if the ending had included a description of Gail and Sally living an empty and sorry life, bemoaning their stupidity and the loss of their husbands.
Love what women always say in the stories and real life when they are caught!
Love the women always say "I never meant to hurt you" both in stories and in real life when they are caught! Could they all really be that dumb? Oh and yeah fuck Bill and that nigger would be a missing person too!
This second chapter, facing the consequences is what I would call it, is very well done. The emotions and actions of the two husbands involved are absolutely spot on honest. The women let go and enjoyed a new found sexuality. That's okay as long as their actions are open, honest and worked out with hubby ahead of time. Hiding behind the veil of secrecy is the problem. Communication is the glue that holds marriage together. Both women payed the price, loss of marriage partner.
I agree that it was too short and the ending happened too quickly.The question that is hanging out there is, how did she get involved in the first place, did Bill entice or seduce her, or what. Good read though, thanks.
You had me going when Bob joined the party. A risky move as I've always thought the best way to fight temptation is to avoid it in the first place. Also, the very idea that you love your wife so much that you would join her in her decadent lifestyle is ludicrous! You might still be together but the love you had is long gone. So I could see no reason to risk getting caught up in the debauchery. But as you depicted, the reality of seeing your wife in action would sicken any real man to the point where he would be immune to any temptation. I guess only cucks, sluts and single guys are drawn to that lifestyle.
This is a more coherent story, with just one revenge: Killing the bastard....But my idea in part 1 was much better: Burn the house with all the cheaters there.
liked it, because, what does a guy get for the ruination of at least 2 marriages. maybe he is wearing cement shoes. I would think that there would be some kind of retribution on the wives also, if the there was vengeance in the air.
I couldn't believe Bobby wanted to get into the orgy. It wasn't even my wife and I wanted to kill Bill. Bobby's reaction seemed surreal to me. You redeemed yourself in part two. The way Bobby ended their union was absolutely believable and right. Five stars.
I gave this a four. It would have been a five if Bob had soaked every door and window in gasoline and watched the slut fire from his house across the street. This would have been proper justice on all the guilty. The media stories afterward would warn people not to fuck with other people's spouses. It also would warn cheaters to warn their spouse before burning down their marriage. If someone wants to be a slut whore at least first divorce. The betrayal and lieing is what kills the love.
Over the past several months, so I'm just going to divorce you, give you money, the house, and move into an apartment so you can fuck all the guys you want. Tell Bill I said hi. This guy is a dickless idiot. Tommy seemed to be the only one with any balls. This story is no better than a 1*.
i don't understand one thing way all way man lose home why he get pack and lose his home when he don't make an mistake why he kick the whore wife out why he left house why he left money why he feel all shame and gilt even he don't do any thing please some one or writer can tell me my simple Q why man safer why a honest loving caring husband safer and lose his home his money and other thing and don't get any good partner why lock like writer tell husband that if they know there wife became whore on there back just silently get make his self a wimp or Cuckold and live a shit life is that you try to teach your Reader Mr Writer
The only one who paid any price to speak of is Bill and all he did was to provide the room and one of the dicks the wives just had to have, repeatedly. Not enough of the proper vengeance on the wives and if it was possible this writer would get them back together with the husbands doing cleanup on isle 5 at the parties and at home. If these stories are fantasies and they all have the same theme, wives who fuck around with friends and coworkers and everyone else and the men who love them because of the strange taste of their pussies and assholes, what kind of fantasy life does the writer have and what kind of "real" life does he have. This kind of stuff warrants someone on a light green horse and with Hell following with him.
I gave this story a high mark because it drew out of me a very visceral, emotional response.
So many of the stories in Literotica are just a "Bump and a Squirt" [my term for a Quickie]. For me there is no satisfaction. This creation really gripped me and, to be honest, left me shaking.
I think the reason why Bob did not kick-out Gail, threw her under the bus, kicked her to the curb, etc. is because he loved her even after she betrayed him. I think he still loves her. He loves her so much that he still feels responsible for caring for her.
I can very easily see that Bill's parties will not continue without him. He provided the structure that could keep such a group going. I think that the people may continue to see each other but not as before. Gail will probably seek out sexual excess where ever she can find it. She will be used, abused, get into drugs and lose everything she has to those who will take what they can from her.
WHOA! I think I know why this has me so hard! Gail is acting like a addict. She is on self-destructive path. She has hurt the one closest to her. My daughter and son-in-law decided drugs were more important to them than anything else. About 2 years ago my four grandchildren were adopted after the parental rights were terminated. I have no where the kids are. Daughter and son-in-law split-up and I have no idea where they are. The bank where they forged checks (we almost lost our house because of that) will press charges if they are ever caught. My health and my wife's could not take them (daughter & son-in-law) coming back into our lives.
I think this story tapped into the pain. Sometimes that can be helpful. Its called Biblio-Therapy.
Thanks, MrRobbur, this may help.
Sorry about getting carried away. But I do have one last thought.
Looking at Gail's extreme behavior I know that she is an addict. The level of lust that she displayed surprised Robert and I suspect that this is a change from her normal behavior. The intense craving for sexual gratification shows that Robert needs to get her to a doctor. Something is messing with her levels of such chemicals as Dopamine, Endorphins, Norepinephrine and Oxytocin. I'm no doctor but I do know that such conditions as Hyperthyroidism can really fuck-up your life.
I can see why Robert did what he did. But he needs to rethink his actions and get Gail to a Medical College where they get the patients that no one else can figure out what is going on. Let me tell you about my wife's chronic sinus infections, Multiple Sclerosis and Achalasia sometime!
English
not enough
the second part was too rushed. There needed to be more; more to the story. It reads as if you didn't know how to end it, so you had the two couples divorce and then Bill, who holds the party, dies unexpectedly and off story. There were so many different ways you could have gone with the story.
Short and sweet
not too bad for as short as it was.
I agree you need a 3rd part
tell how you down loaded the website to her job and church.
THE MAIN PARTY WAS AT GAILS
and everybody was cumming. TK U MLJ LV NV
You built the tension nicely.
Then you solved all the problems in a couple paragraphs. This story just seemed to fall off the table rather than end.
Pretty Sad
Very glad he didn't wimp out, and that there were consequences for her actions and for Bills, but it is still very sad story and ending.
Please Finish
This abrupt ending is disappointing. One of the aspects most readers want is how all the characters dealt with the situation and resolved their lives going forward. This story just stopped. It could of been so much better if it was finished adequately. Maybe next time...
Good but....
the foundation you built could certainly have been lengthier, you had lots of plot built up to have a lot of post friday party fallout. I do like the response and reaction of the husband, sex and or group sex may be inticing to watch but when he spied his wife his wood softened. Outside of the minority of folks that u can see on the internet like Brandilove, one's own life is not a porn video, swinging is a no go. I'd ask this author to revamp ch2 and use the material he set up in chapter 1.
mixed feelings
I am glad he had the balls to walk, its a shame he didn't have the balls to torch bill's house mid party. Ending was quite abrupt and the two cunts didn't pay enough.
A bit fantastic
Come on, fucked by 15 men? In 90 minutes? Must have been two or three men for every woman. It was too much, and with a more realistic number of participants with somewhat less egregious sex I think it would have been a better story.
Oh well, outlandish situations are common here
I join to others, it was too short. I think a third chapter with the 2 friends and their new connections with newer women (new marriage-babies) and an accidental encounter with Gail 3-4 years later would be better.....
Good writing.
I liked the second chapter, even though it was a bit short. Definitely does not warrant an entire third chapter, but a little more meat on the current set of bones would have been good.
May be you should have waited another 45 Days!
In Bobbies shoes, I'm afraid that I would have really shown my anger, as well as hurt.I would have wanted her to tell me how it felt to suck, and fuck black and white cocks, and come home to me, and tell me how much she loved me, and want to make love to me. I would want her to tell me how she thinks she could ever make up for all the times she sucked and fucked those guys. How she thinks I could ever trust her again? You rushed the story, and I am sure any man would want to hear her answers, before he walked out the door.
Good Ending
Too short I agree, but the confrontation scene was enough of a closure for me. Thanks.
This Story Would Have Scored Much Higher If You Had Published Them Together
Neither chapter is very good on it's own.
BILLY BOY BILLY GOAT
ruins and destroys trash. TK U MLJ LV NV
EXCELLENT
Sensibility won. I'm very happy. Bill is dead. Fuck 'um. Cheaters are divorced from their loving husbands. Fuck them too.
OH YEAH
Great ending
Thanks for not making the husbands wimp cowards. This is how it should end. I think if Gail had really cared about her husband, she would have told him before going to the party and asked him if they could both try it, then they would still be happily married, but she was just another cold hearted uncaring selfish cunt. too bad
Something Missing
The story would have been better if the ending had included a description of Gail and Sally living an empty and sorry life, bemoaning their stupidity and the loss of their husbands.
Love what women always say in the stories and real life when they are caught!
Love the women always say "I never meant to hurt you" both in stories and in real life when they are caught! Could they all really be that dumb? Oh and yeah fuck Bill and that nigger would be a missing person too!
Very good story
This second chapter, facing the consequences is what I would call it, is very well done. The emotions and actions of the two husbands involved are absolutely spot on honest. The women let go and enjoyed a new found sexuality. That's okay as long as their actions are open, honest and worked out with hubby ahead of time. Hiding behind the veil of secrecy is the problem. Communication is the glue that holds marriage together. Both women payed the price, loss of marriage partner.
I think you should do another chapter
Something Misssing
I agree that it was too short and the ending happened too quickly.The question that is hanging out there is, how did she get involved in the first place, did Bill entice or seduce her, or what. Good read though, thanks.
A Summary for an Ending?
This felt like the dust jacket version of the real chapter 2.
Weak
Seems like the chapter should have been fleshed out more.
Very powerful!
You had me going when Bob joined the party. A risky move as I've always thought the best way to fight temptation is to avoid it in the first place. Also, the very idea that you love your wife so much that you would join her in her decadent lifestyle is ludicrous! You might still be together but the love you had is long gone. So I could see no reason to risk getting caught up in the debauchery. But as you depicted, the reality of seeing your wife in action would sicken any real man to the point where he would be immune to any temptation. I guess only cucks, sluts and single guys are drawn to that lifestyle.
Unanswered
I gave it 3 as I enjoyed some of the story but there are questions; how did she get started, what was the back story, etc?
Now a 3 *...
This is a more coherent story, with just one revenge: Killing the bastard....But my idea in part 1 was much better: Burn the house with all the cheaters there.
good
liked it, because, what does a guy get for the ruination of at least 2 marriages. maybe he is wearing cement shoes. I would think that there would be some kind of retribution on the wives also, if the there was vengeance in the air.
Part one sickened me
I couldn't believe Bobby wanted to get into the orgy. It wasn't even my wife and I wanted to kill Bill. Bobby's reaction seemed surreal to me. You redeemed yourself in part two. The way Bobby ended their union was absolutely believable and right. Five stars.
Not quite enough
I gave this a four. It would have been a five if Bob had soaked every door and window in gasoline and watched the slut fire from his house across the street. This would have been proper justice on all the guilty. The media stories afterward would warn people not to fuck with other people's spouses. It also would warn cheaters to warn their spouse before burning down their marriage. If someone wants to be a slut whore at least first divorce. The betrayal and lieing is what kills the love.
OH! You've been fucking dozens of men
Over the past several months, so I'm just going to divorce you, give you money, the house, and move into an apartment so you can fuck all the guys you want. Tell Bill I said hi. This guy is a dickless idiot. Tommy seemed to be the only one with any balls. This story is no better than a 1*.
hello
i don't understand one thing way all way man lose home why he get pack and lose his home when he don't make an mistake why he kick the whore wife out why he left house why he left money why he feel all shame and gilt even he don't do any thing please some one or writer can tell me my simple Q why man safer why a honest loving caring husband safer and lose his home his money and other thing and don't get any good partner why lock like writer tell husband that if they know there wife became whore on there back just silently get make his self a wimp or Cuckold and live a shit life is that you try to teach your Reader Mr Writer
Not much in the way of justice or resolution.
The only one who paid any price to speak of is Bill and all he did was to provide the room and one of the dicks the wives just had to have, repeatedly. Not enough of the proper vengeance on the wives and if it was possible this writer would get them back together with the husbands doing cleanup on isle 5 at the parties and at home. If these stories are fantasies and they all have the same theme, wives who fuck around with friends and coworkers and everyone else and the men who love them because of the strange taste of their pussies and assholes, what kind of fantasy life does the writer have and what kind of "real" life does he have. This kind of stuff warrants someone on a light green horse and with Hell following with him.
Why didn't Bob kick Gail out? A thought.
I gave this story a high mark because it drew out of me a very visceral, emotional response.
So many of the stories in Literotica are just a "Bump and a Squirt" [my term for a Quickie]. For me there is no satisfaction. This creation really gripped me and, to be honest, left me shaking.
I think the reason why Bob did not kick-out Gail, threw her under the bus, kicked her to the curb, etc. is because he loved her even after she betrayed him. I think he still loves her. He loves her so much that he still feels responsible for caring for her.
I can very easily see that Bill's parties will not continue without him. He provided the structure that could keep such a group going. I think that the people may continue to see each other but not as before. Gail will probably seek out sexual excess where ever she can find it. She will be used, abused, get into drugs and lose everything she has to those who will take what they can from her.
WHOA! I think I know why this has me so hard! Gail is acting like a addict. She is on self-destructive path. She has hurt the one closest to her. My daughter and son-in-law decided drugs were more important to them than anything else. About 2 years ago my four grandchildren were adopted after the parental rights were terminated. I have no where the kids are. Daughter and son-in-law split-up and I have no idea where they are. The bank where they forged checks (we almost lost our house because of that) will press charges if they are ever caught. My health and my wife's could not take them (daughter & son-in-law) coming back into our lives.
I think this story tapped into the pain. Sometimes that can be helpful. Its called Biblio-Therapy.
Thanks, MrRobbur, this may help.
Just one last thought
Sorry about getting carried away. But I do have one last thought.
Looking at Gail's extreme behavior I know that she is an addict. The level of lust that she displayed surprised Robert and I suspect that this is a change from her normal behavior. The intense craving for sexual gratification shows that Robert needs to get her to a doctor. Something is messing with her levels of such chemicals as Dopamine, Endorphins, Norepinephrine and Oxytocin. I'm no doctor but I do know that such conditions as Hyperthyroidism can really fuck-up your life.
I can see why Robert did what he did. But he needs to rethink his actions and get Gail to a Medical College where they get the patients that no one else can figure out what is going on. Let me tell you about my wife's chronic sinus infections, Multiple Sclerosis and Achalasia sometime!
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