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English
THE HYPNOTIC STATE
just before sleep takes over. TK U MLJ LV NV
Sweet little poem
What a darling little poem, SINS. You did a great job of capturing a special moment between partners. Thanks for sharing. :)
Nice punctuation
Hey Bar,
Great poem, punctuated nicely...
made me smile. Oh, and what Dh said too. : )~
Austin
nice!
Great climate, nice mood.
Just one line is weak:
"To shut out the light."
for two reasons. 1. Just state things, don't explain (that "to" is the culprit). And 2. the combination of closing eyes and thus shutting the lights out is not interesting. Avoid such obvious combinations, almost repetitive.
Overall, I like your poem. As others said, it's sweet in a very nice way.
Aaah, contentment
So warm and cuddly and loving. Couldn't fail to fall into contented sleep. Well done, Babs.
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