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Quick Draw
Good basic storyline however, a bit forward on Jake's part immediately asking for repayment so quickly. The stroy could have had a little more substance rather than a quick Cabin in the snow Screw.
Sorry, but no
Cigar. Could have been a nice slow build up to a good story, but wham, bam does not a story make.
uh, no
you started out well even though it needed some editing. For example, your description of the accident wasn't clear. If she hit the deer how did she "ended up straight into the trees?" She was going around a curve. Also, her airbag should have deployed saving her the headache.
Many animals when struck can continue for some time then drop dead. If you hit it, it was hurt. That comment was lame.
In the middle you threw out development and just went for mindless sex. What the hey, she would have had the mother of all headaches!
Too bad, your build up had potential.
ttom
Folks Gotta Stay Warm!
Jake's my kinda guy. He comes straight to the point and says what he wants. And, Susan is my kinda girl. She gives balls attention while she's giving head.
txun
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