You didn't go into detail at all. The story sucked. You need more adjectives.
Adjectives just clutter up a story. I like stories that are written tightly without any fluff. This one is quite good.
they forgot to lock the back door! someone intruded in the middle of the night, and...
Take your pick! You can't get both in one short page,,,,, Good grammar, but I can get that reading Tolstoy.
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English
You didn't go into detail at all. The story sucked. You need more adjectives.
Nonsense
Adjectives just clutter up a story. I like stories that are written tightly without any fluff.
This one is quite good.
Oops!
they forgot to lock the back door!
someone intruded in the middle of the night, and...
Sex or romance?
Take your pick! You can't get both in one short page,,,,, Good grammar, but I can get that reading Tolstoy.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to A Romantic Evening or
More submissions by creativetalent.