All Comments on 'Bill and Sue - Camel Toe'

great writing. can't wait for the next edition. Make it longer.

I really loved the character development and the way the story slowly unfolded.

a nice upskirt view is thrilling, but when you also see camel toe it's unbelievable! great story. looking forward to chapter 2.

Great build up in anticipation. But please, please do not keep us

waiting for the next installment!

A nice build up that has left me wanting more......one small gripe, please spell 'waste' properly as 'waist'

thanks

you used the wrong words you used WASTE instead of WAIST the first is trash the second is part of the body. proof read and always use a good editor before posting. SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A WHOLE LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND ALWAYS USE A GOOD EDITOR.

And the last Anonymous went ape shit. That is a real 'douche bag'. He apparently doesn't have the balls to post with a Literotica user ID or hasn't registered.

Anyway 'douche bag' aside, I liked the story as written, but it was to short and left us hanging, looking for the additional 2 or 3 pages. But for a writer, that can be a good thing, because you have people waiting for the next chapter.

Please continue the story, and next time, spend a few extra minutes to reread and edit and maybe you'll find those misused words.

Yes that is right the title is Just Wondering I an Just Wondering how How long it is going to take you to post the next installment to this story.

Just don't worry what that ignorant fool says about your spelling.

just keep it cumming.

Come on, Anonymous. Typos happen. I'm pretty sure Fiction_Writer knows the difference in Waist and Waste. Sometimes people just make mistakes. It was a cool story and it was hot. One suggestion, when you write cliff hanger type stories, have the next installment ready as quickly as possible to keep people interested. I for one, can't wait to see what happens with Bill and Sue next.

Laurie

Give us more, please!

As I have said many times before just ignore the anonymous that has no pride in what they write or they wouldn't be so ignorant in what they say. If they think you need an editor then why haven't they volunteered for the job. It's certain that this anonymous has a real hang up. Is it religious or just mental? Sorry to get off the topic. I did like your story and I like camel toes too.

Very good read. Now I wish even more that I had a sister like Sue instead of being an only child!

I thought Sue was playing with her shit, to be honest, people do play those nasty kind of games. But people are right, there's no need to shout about it, that really was a dick way of saying it, and yes, an editor is helpful, because the improper use of words can make a difference and make the sentence unreadable. It wasn't just once or twice, either. But it was still a good story. I was able to read the whole story, if there had been gross misspellings I would've stopped reading it. There were some grammatical errors, as well, but the storyline was great.

Also, people are entitled to opinions. I expressed mine in the title of my comment. Maybe Peteco can explain why, if someone dislikes a story and says so, why Peteco feels compelled to leap to the defense of the author. Some stories are gems, and some are crap. Having some moron blindly defend a badly written story doesn't make it any better. I've expressed that thought to Peteco in the past, but maybe this will jog his memory. And once again, dip-shit, I don't post anonymously, so make up your mind: Am I brave for not posting anonymously, or an ass for having an opinion other than "Wow, your story was amazing!"? You blast people for not posting with a user name, and then when they DO have a user name, you find some other reason to blast them.

Let me sum up my thoughts on Peteco, and people like him, by repeating myself: I'd first have to value your opinion for it to affect MY opinion of what you have to say about, well, anything. And when you moronically defend badly written stories, you undermine your own credibility. In other words: You are your own worst enemy, retard.

I found your story different from others I have read through the years and there have been hundreds of brother/sister tales . Keep to your own style and pace and please do continue ; like they say "a mind is a terrible thing to waste".

I’m sorry to have created such discord. I’m just like anyone else who is a beginning fiction writer, I will get better. (I hope!)

Please continue with any constructive criticism that you want to post. The only way to learn is from mistakes and I have made plenty during my life. (My first marriage comes to mind.)

I definitely want to thank you for reading my work, for without readers the written word is just a bunch of letters thrown together without meaning.

Regards,

Fiction_Writer

I liked your story. Pretty good start. Keep an eye out for spelling & grammar, but remember to write what YOU want to write about.

As for the story, please continue it. I like where it seem to be heading.

"gently pinching on her nipples when she shuttered."

Is she made of ventian blinds?

I think you mean "shuddered".

Apart from that, and a couple of other small glitches, this was very fine. More would be good.

nice start. would love to read a 2nd and 3rd chapter

"little Bill"

hahahaha surprised he didn't go soft.

do a total rewrite and use a good editor this could have been good IF you had properly proofread it and used a good editor. i would also suggest that you and all writers block "peteco" from commenting as said earlier only an ass defends a poorly written story and he is one of the biggest asses on the site so block him and tell other writers to also.

You need to get a life,

your comments haven't changed in all of the time I have been a member.

Do a total rewrite on your comment,, It is always the same.. Just what makes you so special and all knowing. Or do you simply cut and paste.

this is just the typical trash being posted here lately not worth the time it takes to read it IF YOU CAN GET THROUGH THE BOREDOM AND BAD WRITING. no background no character development just a sloppy underage rush to sex.

not enough background, not enough character development, not enough plot, piss poor writing and piss poor spelling plus paid for fake rave reviews all add up to a waste of time.

very good. I hope they fuck in part two.

Really enjoyed the story! Its sad that there was never a second part :(.

Thanks for writing!