Had the potential to be a great story, but too short and too rushed—especially the last half.
I love how your story leaves so much open to the imagination. It is like the old Hollywood movies, which makes for a lovely fantasy. Thank you for a beautiful begining!
I knew you were no writer before the end of the opening paragraph and it did not improve.
Please tell me exactly what an "uncomfortably place" might be? Or is it a where?
When one tries to form actual words, doesn't "Who" qualify as one? What exactly is an actual word?
I can't vote 0, but I would if I could.
Sure there were a couple of mistakes but this story made me smile. It was beautifully sweet. Keep on writing!
Sure, there were a few mechanical errors but nothing compared to some stories I've seen on Lit. I'm surprised you haven't submitted any recent stories. Anyway, I enjoyed the story. I appreciate shorter stories that are easy to read. Shame there wasn't a sequel. :(
The poor thing had no one so after the first kiss they just went to fucking???
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!
orBack to I Love You
orMore submissions by Sean Renaud.
Edit comment orSubmit Comment
Comment posted successfully - click here to view it or write another.
Title of your comment:
Your public comment about I Love You:
Please type in the security codeYou may also listen to a recording of the characters.
Title your feedback:
Your feedback to Sean Renaud:
If you would like a response, enter your email address in this box:
Feedback sent successfully - click here to write another.
Login or Sign Up
All contents © Copyright 1998-2012. Literotica is a trademark. No part may be reproduced in any form without explicit written permission.
Terms Of Services|Report A Problem|Privacy
Password:Forgot your password?
Your current user avatar, all sizes:
You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.
Select new user avatar:
Upload and save
User avatar uploaded successfuly and waiting for moderation.