The grammatical errors make this very difficult to read. Your paragraphs are smushed together. It's not very good to have more than two people talking in the same paragraph, and certainly not conversations within the same paragraph. Also, standard rookie mistakes like giving out stats in the opening paragraph.
English
waaay too rushed
It started off well, but then rushed off to the ending. Very disappointing.
Kind of a mess
The grammatical errors make this very difficult to read. Your paragraphs are smushed together. It's not very good to have more than two people talking in the same paragraph, and certainly not conversations within the same paragraph. Also, standard rookie mistakes like giving out stats in the opening paragraph.
part 2
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